Page 10 of From the Ashes

I wish to God it washelloand notgoodbye.

Chapter 5

Phoenix

That’s what the paper in my jeans says.

That lying sonofabitch was a virgin, but somehow, I can’t bring myself to be too mad. After all, hedidsay I was everything he needed. I still wince, looking back at how rough I was every time after the first, but he kept begging for more.

And here I go again, all up in my fucking head.

Goddammit,I don’t need this on the day I ride for the championship title…againsthim.

But he was so perfect in every way, and now that I know I’m the only one to have ever had his ass, all I can think about is having it again…and making sure no one else touches what’s mine. I’ve got to convince him to give this a chance.

I fuckingwant him.

I don’t have time to sort through my feelings before my bunkmate is thrusting a cup of coffee at me, all smiles and knowing looks.

“How was your night? Wasn’t sure I’d see you before your ride,” he says with a smirk.

My ride.

How am I supposed to focus on my ride with the taste of Walker still so fresh in my mind?

“My night was excellent, you nosy bastard. How was yours?” I fire back, taking a sip of coffee. Until this moment, I had considered black coffee to be the nectar of the gods, but now that I know what Walker’s cum tastes like, I’ll have to give coffee a title more befitting of second place.

My teammate laughs. “It was great, thanks to you.”

I arch a brow.

“Well, after you disappeared from the party, leaving Ashley and Mindy disgruntled and horny, I got to swoop in and be the hero. Plus, I had the camper to myself and although I came in fourth yesterday, being on your team still means I get a decent amount of action…so thank you.”

It’s the second time in six hours someone has thanked me, but I’m still stuck on the first one.

“You ready for today?”My teammate is nice, but God, when did he get so fucking chatty,I wonder silently as he continues talking.“You win this and you’ll be the first rider to hold the title three years ina row.”

“No pressure,”I reply with a laugh, hoping he’s done.

My answer sounds a lot more confident than I feel.

The reality is, riding is second nature to me, but Walker is just as talented. My loss yesterday was due to my bronc not accruing enough points even thoughmyride was flawless. Just like Walker’s.

But ever since finding that note in my pocket, I’m rattled. I didn’t expect the feeling of possession to be so strong this morning, but it’s the emotion I feel more than any other, and like a dangerous riptide, it’s threatening to pull me under and carry me away.

An hour later, I enter the arena through the back entrance only accessible to riders, and I’m shamelessly scanning every face I pass, looking for Walker. Today he’s my rival, but a larger part of me acknowledges him as my lover. People are still clapping me on the back, encouraging me after yesterday’s loss, and several people ask for autographs and selfies. I oblige because it’s part of the image and my sponsors require it.

I’ve loved watching you ride for years.My traitorous brain immediately conjures up Walker’s words from last night, and a pang of loss hits me so hard I nearly stumble.

This is my happy place, I remind myself.

The place I’m more comfortable than anywhere else. I can’t imagine a life that doesn’t involve the rodeo. What happened with Walker last night was a one-off. As good as it was, it’s over, and I need to focus on holding my title. But I continue my search, just needing to talk to him.

Needing some pathetic reassurance that he doesn’t regret it in the light of day.

Finally, I enter the staging area just behind the bucking shoot. I’m third in line to ride. Normally by the time I’m in position here, I’m laser-focused on the riders before me. I’m watching their horses and mentally riding with them, talkingmyself through how I’d correct certain aspects of their technique.

Not today, though.