Page 30 of Foxed Up

With another whole-body shudder, he turned his glaring self away and swept from the room, dramatic and sassy, but hurting so much it didn't hold even a little bit of humor for me. Normally I'd have to smile about Wallace getting fussed, if only a bit. He was usually so quiet, but he really could go off on people when he got angry and indignant.

I looked at the captain. I didn't know what to say or do. It was strange, because I usually had a lot of opinions. I just felt helpless right now. I spread my hands. Then I got up and went after Wallace.

I caught up with him on the basement level. He was going to look after his precious files, apparently. Probably angrily rifle through paper and say "darn" under his breath. That might be a calming activity for him...but he was still wearing his ragged clothes, and I had to talk to him.

"Hey, hon." He turned a startled look on me, slightly hunted, slightly shocked that I'd called him that outside of the bedroom. Not that it was a super-duper-lovey-dovey word or anything, that's just not my way.

"Yes? What?" He crossed his arms over his chest defensively and eyed me like he thought I was going to fight him about his decision.

If it would have done any good, I would have, of course. But the high horse was definitely being sat upon, and I could understand his feelings. Just didn't want him to break himself trying to save others.

I nodded at his clothes. "You're still wearing them. Best change."

He looked down at himself, and frowned. Even with his arms crossed, I could see one of his hands twitching a little. He couldn't quite hide it.

I stepped forward, into his space, necessity making me say "Fuck it" and throw caution to the wind. "Hey, how about you come home with me tonight?"

He blinked. "What? No. Your kid."

I shrugged. "Eli likes you. I think we can manage to keep it PG in front of him." I moved slowly so he didn't give a start, but I moved deliberately, too. Putting my hands at his waist, taking that final step so we were pressed together. "What do you say?" My voice had gotten gravelly and cajoling. I let go with one hand and reached up to touch his hair, which was messy and very soft. Petting his curls comforted me more than him, probably.

He trembled slightly, and I knew he didn't mind this attention at all. That I was, in fact, comforting him at least a little.

"I'll tell him you're having a sleepover," I said very softly.

Wallace snorted. He allowed himself to lean just slightly into me. He wanted my comfort. He wanted to be convinced.

I'd never invited him to spend the night with me before, so this was a big deal to both of us. It wasn't just an apology or a way to make him feel better; I meant it. I wanted him to come over. It surprised me a little how much I wanted it. But then if I was honest, I always had.

From day one, I'd wished he could be there with me when I was falling asleep, after our explosive sex. He'd been such a wonderful distraction from my life: the burning hot sex, the gorgeous beauty, the sweet vulnerability in his eyes. I hadn't been able to get enough of him, and it had been hard to stay away.

My kid came first; it hadn't been possible. But with Eli always asking about him these days, ready to get to know him, with me feeling like I'd committed the whole way even though Wallace didn't seem to get that, I was ready to have him over as often as he could come.

"Wallace, come on." I gave him a light kiss, shamelessly meant to sway him. Then another. His muscles got less tense, his whole body loosened as he leaned into me, closing his eyes.

"Okay," he whispered. He wasn't trembling anymore.

#

Wallace kept several changes of clothing at the precinct for when he had to shift on the job. It was more convenient that way. Once he calmed down a little, it was easy for him to go and get a quick shower and change into something clean. Then he did a little filing to calm himself down, and I took care of some paperwork, and by the end of the day, he seemed nearly like himself again.

The captain had offered to let him leave early, but he'd refused. He really did feel happiest around "his" files. He was so clever...but also a little odd. I didn't know of anyone else who would have turned down a half-day off in order to file records. But then, there really wasn't anyone else like Wallace, either.

"I want to stop off at my place and fetch my car, and a few things for staying overnight." He looked me solemnly in the eye as he said this. His curls had dried springy and fierce, and it was all I could do not to reach out and touch him.

He looked self-contained in his clean clothes (belted jeans and a white t-shirt), and seemed very self-contained and untouchable. At the same time, he looked so soft and inviting and still vulnerable enough to need a hug and kiss for comfort.

I missed him, even though he was standing right here next to me. "Sure. Whatever you think."

"It would be best if I can drive myself home if it doesn't work out," he continued.

I'd already agreed; he didn't need to keep trying to convince me. I was careful not to touch him as we exited the station. He walked very straight and kept his face more or less blank, and he didn't walk right next to my side. Was he angry at me again, at someone else — or was he just barely holding it together? I knew how much he hated betraying weakness.

Perhaps a smaller, more fragile shifter like a fox had to be aware of things like that more than a wolf shifter, for instance, would have been. Not that I knew any of them personally. Wolves just always struck me as bull-in-china-shop types who threw their weight around and didn't mind letting the whole world know how they felt, good or bad.

Once we were in my car and he was pulling on his seatbelt, I put a hand on his knee. "You all right?"

He jumped a little, then turned to look at me quickly. "Yes," he said, his big green eyes solemn and looking somehow older and wearier than I remembered. He buckled his seatbelt, fumbling a little with it. "Just tired."