Page 7 of Forgotten Arcane (Broken Ashes #6)

Neith

I glance up at Coen to find him already looking down at me, a smile curling his lips, and his eyes full of happiness. I don’t care that people are watching, I reach out and thread my fingers through his, squeezing them tightly.

Thank fuck.

And thank you to whoever is watching over us, and put into motion the things that meant that Coen was put on our team.

Back with his family where he belongs. I have no doubt that there’s going to be a slight adjustment period for everyone, but considering that everyone knows each other so well, I think it will be more of a case of getting used to everyone knowing each other again and knowing different parts of each other.

I mean Coen knows my dark side, he’s seen me slice a fuckers throat.

He’s seen me take a guy’s dick for not listening to the word no.

He’s seen me go up against people three times my size and not even bat an eyelid.

He’s seen me at my most vulnerable, and he’s seen me at my most deadly, and through it all he didn’t fucking wavier.

I never wanted to allow myself to think of him or Dimitri as mine, despite everything that we went through together, despite how they showered me with affection. They were supernaturals, and I was not. It was as simple as that.

I may not ever be able to have Dimitri . . .

“You don’t know th . . .” my inner voice starts.

I viciously push it away. No I’m not doing that, I’m not going down that fucking rabbit hole.

Not again.

I force my thoughts to get back on track and continue as if I were never interrupted by myself. Even through everything, I refused to admit it, even to myself, but I can say it now, Coen is mine.

He always has been.

My heart claimed him a long fucking time ago, and I knew the whole time that I was with him that I was playing with fire and that one day he’d find his mate, and that would be it for us.

It’s still true, one day he will probably find his mate, but I have spent too long away from him, worrying about him only to find out that he was being controlled by a cunt, life is too short, and I refuse to carry on with the what ifs.

That applies to all of my men, and yes, I do consider them my men.

Eventually, they will all find their mates and other halves. It’s how supernaturals work. The thought sends a spear of pain and sadness through me, but it’s the facts, and I’m going to have to get used to it. I could stop everything where it is now or I could enjoy it while I can.

I’m more than happy to do the second option.

Of course, it could get complicated team-wise, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Sadness floods me as we step into the castle.

“Whatever you are thinking about, stop it,” River suddenly says, and the guys all look at me before I clear the expression off my face.

“What’s wrong?” Reed asks, looking concerned.

I wince slightly. This is an absolutely ridiculous thing to try to explain.

I mean how do I explain to them that I’ve made myself sad thinking about a hypothetical situation that could happen years from now, and isn’t something that I need to be worrying about right now.

Especially since we have a lot of actual problems that do need to be worried about and focused on.

The voices murmur, sounding more amused than I would like, but offer no useful advice.

Van and Coen study me closely, no doubt my expression is switching between several conflicting ones, while the others all look at me concerned, and I feel like this has absolutely been turned into a bigger thing than it really is.

For fuck sake.

“You made yourself sad thinking of a hypothetical situation again, didn’t you?” Coen asks.

Van chuckles, “I was literally just about to ask her that. It’s good to know that some things haven’t changed at all.”

I huff indignantly.

“Am I wrong?” Coen asks me with a raised eyebrow.

I shake my head, “No.”

He chuckles and pulls me under his arm, kissing the top of my head. “No, making yourself sad thinking about what ifs and maybes.”

“Deal?” Van adds.

I grin, “Deal.”

Doc smiles as we head up the castle steps and through the door, “Okay, so that’s something else that we need to add to the important things to know about Neith list.”

“You have an important things to know about me list?” I ask, my eyebrow raised slightly, and butterflies in my stomach. Why is that so fucking cute?

Reed nods, “Yep. Not in a bad way.”

“He’s right,” Ransom adds. “It’s more a list of things that we all want to make sure that we remember about you, so that you’re happy, and so that we don’t accidentally put our foot in it.”

“Things like, you like all meat pizza with black olives and extra cheese, and you love dessert,” River smiles. “Actually, all food. I love how much you love food.”

“And how you don’t like to sleep alone, and that sleeping with someone keeps your nightmares away,” Griff adds with a soft smile.

“How you don’t like spending money on frivolous things, but you love to buy curiosities, anything supernatural, and you love it,” Raiden adds with a grin, as he clearly thinks back to our shopping trip.

“You’re tough as fucking nails,” Ransom adds. “But you’re the kindest woman I think I’ve met. You were willing to risk your life for three strange supernaturals. That’s not on the list, but your desire to put yourself in danger to protect others is on the list.”

“You’re full of surprises,” Reed adds. “And always keep us on our toes. I love that.”

By this point, we’re standing in the entryway to the castle, and I’m staring up at them with a lump of emotion in my throat. This is not the conversation that I expected us to be having right now.

I don’t know how to reply to Reed, or any of them actually, their words are the cutest fucking things that I have ever heard, and they aren’t done.

“You don’t seem to see our faults,” Doc starts looking slightly nervous. “You see the real us, and you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing. You actually take an interest in the things that make us who we are, and the things that others have viewed as weird or difficult.”

“I second that one,” River says.

Raiden nods, “Yeah, I definitely do too. You didn’t once shy away from me.”

“Same, you yelled at me from the get-go,” Reed agrees with a fond smile.

Coen chuckles, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Because it’s Neith, she’s always loved the outcasts and the weird,” Evander replies.

I frown, “None of you are weird.”

Doc and the guy’s chuckle as Doc pulls me closer, and dips his head to press a kiss to my lips, “Exactly, you beautiful woman.”

“There are a few more,” Reed says, “but you get the idea.”

“I suppose it’s sort of a mixed list,” Evander says, “It’s not just things that we know about you, but things that we love too.”

He says it so casually that I know that he can’t mean what I think he means by that. So I force myself to breeze past it and not cling to it like I want to, but probably shouldn’t.

“You guys are so fucking awesome, and I’m so grateful that I got put on your team,” I reply honestly.

“Us too, Nene,” Van replies, pulling me away from Doc and hugging me tightly.

“I didn’t doubt that you would be for a second,” Ransom says. “You fit with us from the moment that you collapsed in Evander’s arms after walking straight through the damn wards.”

“Now there’s a story,” Coen says, his eyebrow raising with curiosity.

“Just wait, man,” River says as we start walking again. “It gets fucking wild.”

“That’s not wild?” Coen asks and immediately adds, “Of course it’s not, Neith is involved.”

“I think I should be offended,” I tease, with a smile.

“Never, Love.”

“Neith!” Mabel yells as she comes around the corner and immediately barrels toward me, wrapping me in her arms.

“Mabel,” I greet her happily, returning her hug.

She steps back, “I was beginning to worry about you, you’ve all been in there for a long time.”

I grin, “As usual, things hit the fan, and nothing was as straightforward as it was supposed to be.”

“Not even a centuries-old Choosing,” Reed chuckles.

Mabel smiles, “Of course not, dear. That would be boring.” Her eyes move to Coen, “I am so glad that you were put on your rightful team.”

“Thanks, Mabel,” Coen grins.

“Well done for killing that horrific dragon, the realms are a better place for it,” she adds with fire.

Coen’s smile becomes sharp, “I couldn’t agree more.”

Mabel nods. “Okay, well, I am sure that you want to get home. The portal will be set up down here, and will be ready to take you back whenever you are.”

“Great, thank you, Mabel,” Doc says.

“We’ll just grab our bags and then head home,” Evander tells her.

Mabel smiles, and then her expression becomes more serious, “The Draconian team has already departed and gone back.”

Reed nods, “Thank you. It’s probably best that they aren’t still around. Kylen may be gone, but we have no idea how the rest of them would react.”

“Those were our thoughts as well,” Mabel agrees.

“Thanks, Mabel, you’re awesome,” Griff says.

“Have you seen Ribit?” I ask as the guys start to walk off up the stairs.

Mabel shakes her head, “No, I’m afraid I haven’t.”

“Oh, okay, can you tell her that I said goodbye and that I will come back and visit you all when I can?” I ask her.

Mabel’s eyes light up, “You’re going to come and visit?”

“Of course I am,” I reply with a smile.

Mabel grins, “Of course, I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks, Mabel, I’ll see you in a minute.”

She waves me off, and I jog to catch up to the guys. On the way to our room, several members of staff stop us to congratulate us, and we smile and thank them.

I can’t believe that this is over.

To be honest, I can’t believe that it’s only been a week that we’ve been here, it feels like so much longer than that, but then that’s probably because so much has happened.

When we step into our rooms, well, the guy’s room, we all sort of just stand there for a moment, absorbing what has happened.

River pulls a surprised Coen into his arms, “Dude, I am so fucking glad that you’re back where you belong.”

Coen grins, “Thanks, man.”

Evander grins, “Welcome back to the team man, I’m so fucking glad you’re back.”

Surprise filters through Coen’s expression before he grins, “I can’t believe it. I’ve been stuck in that fucking nightmare for so fucking long that I think it’s going to take me a while before I really believe that I’m free.”

“I’m so fucking sorry man, we should have realized that there was no way that you would actually want to be a part of Kylen’s team,” River apologizes.

Coen nods, “There was no way that you could have known, not really. Kylen had me acting and behaving like I wanted to be on his team.”

“Neith knew,” Doc points out.

“That’s different,” Coen replies. “You all know Neith is different. Even the magic in Kylen’s necklace couldn’t control that.

Besides, by the time that Neith showed up at the Training Academy Kylen’s hold over a few of his long-standing commands was slipping.

He hadn’t renewed a couple of the older ones as soon as he should have, which was why I was able to talk to you guys when I could and why I could warn Neith that I couldn’t stop, when I was made to fight her. ”

“Still,” Reed starts with a heavy frown.

It’s understandably weighing heavily on all of them that Coen was in that situation.

Coen nods, “There was nothing that you could have done, and nothing that could have changed it, so let’s leave it where it deserves to be, and that’s in the past.”

Understanding crosses all of the guys’ faces, and they all nod in agreement.

Coen doesn’t want to carry on talking about it.

There is a very good chance that he’s not going to be ready to talk about it for a long time, and that’s okay.

Coen was controlled by Kylen for a really long time, and there is absolutely no way that there isn’t going to be any lasting trauma left from that.

When it comes down to it, we don’t know how bad it really was, we don’t know what happened.

We do know that he was kept away from his family, and the dragons, and that at some point, he was forced to stop shifting.

I’ve seen him shift now, so I know that he can still shift, but I have no idea if there is any lasting damage left from not being able to shift.

We all know that there was more than the control, and the awful way that Kylen talked to him.

My thoughts remind me of the walk to the chamber.

“Why were you walking so stiffly on the way over here?” I ask.

Coen’s expression darkens, “One of Kylen’s torture sessions.”

Anger rushes through me as my wings suddenly burst free, and a boom of magic flattens everyone to the floor. I’m so shocked to see everyone on the floor with their faces squashed, and that the magic that did it came from me, that the anger dissipates.

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry,” I reply, as I automatically pull back my magic.

All of the guys have huge, proud smiles on their faces as they sit back up, and Coen wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a huge hug.

“That was fucking awesome, Love,” he exclaims.

I chuckle, “I didn’t mean to.”

“Your emotions are linked to your magic, it will become easier to control them so that you don’t release your power when you feel a strong emotion, but it will take practice to get the hang of it,” Griff explains.

“The good news is that you have already mastered pulling your magic back, so there is no reason why you won’t be able to pick up the control easily,” Raiden adds.

“It’s probably because of feeling how Reed does it when his magic does the same thing,” I muse.

“You can feel magic?” Coen replies.

“She’s always been able to,” Evander adds, with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk, he knows he has just dropped me in the shit.

I interrupt as Coen’s eyebrow raises and he looks at me for an explanation, “There is a lot that we need to catch you up on, but I really do think that it needs to wait until we’re home.”

Coen smirks, “You have a point, but I have a lot of questions.”

“We’ll answer them, don’t worry,” Reed grins. His face drops, “When you’re ready, we’re all here for you.”

Coen swallows thickly and looks away, “Thanks.”

We all sense his need to move on from this subject, and that’s completely understandable. By now, I’ve gathered that we have all been in situations where we’ve experienced some pretty heavy trauma, so we all understand the need to take a step back.

“Right,” Evander starts, “everyone, go and get all of your stuff and meet back here.”

As everyone moves to grab their stuff so that we can get out of here, I notice a single small backpack resting by the couch.

“Whose is that?” I ask. My mind going through all sorts of scenarios like it’s a bomb placed by Rupert before he went.