Page 19 of Forgiving His Past (Eagle’s Nest Securities #5)

Kam nodded. “It is. It’s also why they weren’t against my desire to dress more like the women of your culture.

They knew my love for them and our heritage would never be weakened by something as simple as a change of wardrobe.

It wasn’t that I didn’t respect the ways of my people, but rather that I was open to the many different ways of thinking and other points of view.

They never forced me into a box with no hope of ever being able to explore beyond its four walls.

I don’t know.” She huffed out a nervous laugh.

“I’m probably not explaining myself very well. ”

“No, I get what you’re saying.” Van set his empty plate aside. “They didn’t force you to define yourself and how you live by where you grew up.”

Her lips curved again as a sense of gratitude for his understanding filled her chest with an unexpected warmth.

“Exactly.” Kam nodded; the weight she’d been feeling moments earlier becoming lighter as the conversation went on. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Tell me something about you.” When he remained quiet, she boldly prodded him for more.

“Oh, come on, Van. You know practically everything there is to know about me. And while I may have knowledge of your time and experience in the military and with Eagle’s Nest, I know very little about you as a person. ”

I want to know more about you as…a man.

Van hesitated to share, which didn’t surprise her. And since he didn’t seem to know where to begin…

“What about your childhood?” she prompted. “Tell me something about that.”

He looked over at her from behind those impenetrable sunglasses. She could feel the weight of his stare even from here. Kam watched as he took another long swallow of water, and just when she was convinced he wasn’t going to say a word…he began to talk.

“I grew up in Phoenix,” he muttered. “It’s in Arizona.”

“I know where Phoenix is.” She grinned. “My first roommate in college was from there.”

A slow nod was his way of acknowledging her words. “Anyway, my parents were both in real estate. My mom pretty much ran the office.”

“And your father?”

“My father?” He huffed out a breath. Another stretch of thick silence ensued before he told her, “My father was a drunk.”

“Oh.” Kam blinked. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is.” He gave a small shrug. “Anyway, when my dad was sober…or at least, pretending to be…he’d scout out properties, and then he was the one to show them. Which, of course, gave him the perfect opportunity to meet other women.”

Other women?

“Your father was unfaithful to your mother?”

His shoulders shook with a deep but humorless chuckle. “You could say that. My old man was always running around on her.”

“Did she know?”

“Oh, yeah. She knew.”

“And yet, she stayed married to him?”

“For thirty-seven years.” Van nodded. “Until the day his liver had finally had enough and he drank himself to death.”

“But why?”

“Why did his liver fail?”

“No, I meant…why did your mother stay with him all those years if she knew about his affairs?”

“Love.” He said the word as if it were a curse.

“That’s what she always said anytime I’d ask why she didn’t pack up her shit and leave.

‘Because I love him,’ she’d tell me.” A long exhale escaped from his lips.

“I tried to tell her that wasn’t what love was supposed to look like, but… she never listened.”

Kam watched as he turned his gaze back out onto the water. She waited as he finished the rest of his water before telling him softly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He lifted a hand her way to stave off her heartfelt remorse for what he’d gone through. “It was several years ago, and a long time coming. Truth be told, it was the best thing that could’ve happened for my mom.”

“Is she still alive?”

His hatted head bobbed with a nod. “After dad’s funeral, she sold the house, sold the business, and moved to Pensacola, Florida. Six months later, she met a widower during an open house, the two hit it off, and they’ve been together ever since.”

“Is he a good man?”

One of Van’s broad shoulders lifted and fell. “He’s all right, I guess. She seems happy, and from what Lucky could find, the guy appears to be on the up-and-up.”

Kam considered this a moment. “You had your teammate look into him?”

“Hell yeah, I did.” He sounded surprised that she would question this. “The second Mom called to tell me about Terry, I had Lucky check the guy out.” Those shaded eyes rounded back to her. “Wouldn’t you, if you were me?”

“Absolutely.” Her lips curved with a nod. “Okay, so your father has passed, may he rest in peace, and your mother lives in Florida with a nice man named Terry. What about you?”

“I live in Seattle.”

“No, I know.” Kam chuckled. “I meant what about your…personal life?”

“Don’t have one. ”

“A man with your looks and skills?” She watched him closely. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Yeah, well…believe it.” He pushed himself to his feet to walk over to the tip of the boat’s bow. Looking out over the slow rolling sea, he appeared to be contemplating whether he should share more.

Since she was rather enjoying the time spent getting to know him better, Kam decided to join him in hopes he wouldn’t shut down.

Setting her empty plate on the floor—to prevent the wind from picking it up and tossing into the water—she left her half-drank bottle of water on her seat and went to where he stood.

“Are you saying you’re celibate?” she asked softly as she curled her fingers around the top rung of the railing.

“No, I’m not…” he started to bark. With a deep, cleansing breath, he let it out slowly before revising his initial reaction and saying, “I’m just saying I don’t do relationships.”

“Not ever?”

The man gave a barely-there shake of his head. “Not anymore.”

Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.

“But you used to?” She waited, and when he didn’t voluntarily elaborate, Kam got the feeling there was a story there. And not one with a happy ending. “Tell me about her.”

His handsome face turned her way. “Who?”

“The woman who broke your heart.”

“What makes you think there was a?—”

“If there wasn’t, you would have told me so immediately. Instead, you started asking how I came to that conclusion. Which, in and of itself, tells me that I’m right. So…who was she?” The breath in her lungs seemed to cease as she waited for him to reveal more of himself.

Looking back over the beautiful scenery, Van remained silent for several tense seconds. Kam was certain she’d overstepped, so much so, she parted her lips to tell him it was okay, and that he didn’t have to share.

But at that exact same moment, he began to really open himself up.

“Her name was Jenny. We met not long after I became a SEAL. It was a whirlwind type of thing, and less than a year later, we were married and expecting a kid.”

“You have a child?” Kam couldn’t hide the shock that revelation created.

“I did.”

He…did?

“I don’t understand. What happened?—”

“They died,” Van growled turning his hidden gaze her way. “My wife and son are both dead, and it’s all because of me.”