Page 96 of Forgiven

Ezra turned the heat down on the hob and then leant against the worktop, arms folded, stare firmly fixed on Callum.

“I told her where I’m working.” Callum’s voice shook.

“And?”

“She hung up.”

“I’m sorry.” Ezra’s expression had become clouded.

Callum shrugged. “It’s not your fault. I spoke to Molly after that and told her I was bi.”

Ezra sucked in a breath. “And?”

“She screamed at me. I ended up hanging up on her.”

Ezra’s whole body deflated. He hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

Callum wasn’t sure what Ezra was apologising for.

“So am I,” he said. “I’d hoped it would be better, so that one day you could come out to Mum, if you wanted to.”

Ezra looked up sharply. “It wasn’t up toyouto trailblaze forme.” He blinked his eyes repeatedly and stared at the ceiling. “Fuck.Ishould have been the one to do that, to make things easier foryou.” He wiped his hand over his face. “But instead, I was a coward.”

“No, you’re not. Will you tell me what it was like, living with Mum and your parents?”

Ezra hunched his shoulders. “What’s to tell? I knew I was gay from my early teens. I knew Dad would spank seven shades of shit out of me if he ever found out. I knew Hannah wouldn’t understand either. Worse, I knew she’d tell our parents.”

“So you kept quiet?” Callum asked.

“Worse—I hid.”

Callum couldn’t begin to understand how hard it must have been for his uncle to conceal such a large part of his identity for so long.

“While I lived at home, I met men at gay bars, always going back to their homes,” Ezra told him.

“Even after granddad and grandma died?” Callum asked.

His memories of his grandparents on his mum’s side weren’t fond. His granddad had been strict, and they’d both spouted a constant stream of hate every time he’d been taken to visit them. His granddad had died when he was twelve, his grandma sixteen months after. Not that his dad’s parents had been much better, but he’d been even younger when they’d passed.

“I was scared,” Ezra said in a cracked voice.

Callum stared at him for several minutes. “Of Dad?”

“Yes.”

Callum clenched his teeth as he looked at the tabletop.

“After he was arrested, I was going to tell Hannah, but when she stood by him so staunchly, I realised I couldn’t.”

“Is that why you moved away?” Callum asked.

Ezra had left, just before Callum and his family had been hounded out of their own home.

“Yes. I had to go somewhere that I could be myself. Somewhere I felt safe.” He sat opposite Callum and touched his arm. “I amsosorry for leaving you alone.”

Callum put his hand over Ezra’s. “And now? Are you happy?”

“Yes.”