Page 63 of Forgiven

Callum laughed. “I hope so.” He rested his hand over Dylan’s. “You were going to tell me about your first time?”

Dylan laid down, with his head on Callum’s shoulder. He hooked his foot over Callum’s legs. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

Having Dylan so close was lovely. He could feel the guy’s heartbeat thrumming against his side.

“It was with a boy named Billy. He was the son of one of my foster carers. I think I’d been placed therebecausehe was outwardly gay and my social worker thought it would be good for me to be in an accepting family, but who knows. Anyway, it was hate at first sight.”

“You didn’t get on?”

“Not at all. But fuck, could he kiss.”

Callum frowned. “How did you go from hating each other to kissing each other?”

“It was a hate kiss.Lotsof hate kisses. We never said two nice words to each other, even when we were jacking each other off or going down on each other. It may sound crazy, but it made it more exciting. Hating each other and carrying on in secret was a serious turn on.” He tilted his face up. “I’ve never told anyone about him.”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

Dylan hugged him. “Like you said, we make each other braver.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“Ditto, baby, ditto.”

“So…umm…” Callum cleared his throat. “What was it like?”

“Which bit?” Dylan asked. “Because you’re asking a really open-ended question there.”

“Sex.”

Dylan pursed his lips. “Are you asking me about the first time I bottomed for a guy?”

Callum was surprised he didn’t burst into flames on the spot. It might have been better than laying there, feeling stupid. “Yeah,” he stammered. “I think I am.”

Dylan sat up, plumping the pillows so that he could rest against the wall. “Come here.” He stretched his arms out, inviting Callum into them.

Callum didn’t hesitate. He was already missing having Dylan cuddled up next to him, but this was different. This was Dylan holding him, looking after him, and comforting him. He snuggled up into the man’s arms and nuzzled his face against Dylan’s chest. Dylan stroked his hair and his back gently.

“You don’t have to bottom,” Dylan said firmly. “You don’t have to top. You don’t have to do anal at all if you don’t want to. Not all guys like it, and most of the guys that do don’t fall into neat categories of only topping or only bottoming.Mostof the guys I’ve slept with have been switches. They like it both ways,” he added.

“Do you?”

Dylan’s chest expanded as he breathed in. “I prefer to top. I do bottom occasionally. I’m what’s known as a power bottom when I do.”

“A what?”

“I take charge. Always. You could say I top from the bottom.”

Callum wasn’t sure he understood, but it was probably a question for later. Much later.

“I didn’t know that I liked to be in control when I was messing about with Billy. That part of my sexual identity developed later. At the time, I basically followed his lead. Which was fine, I guess. I was inexperienced, curious, and horny, and there was this guy who hated my guts but gave me awesome orgasms.” He snorted. “Well, I thought they were awesome at the time. I’ve had miles better since.”

“What happened?”

“We’d sneak into each other’s rooms in the middle of the night to fool around. One night, he told me he was going to fuck me. It was how our dynamic worked—he said suck, I did. Looking back, it was really fucking unhealthy, but I was so desperate to be wanted, I didn’t care.”

Callum held Dylan when his voice broke.