Page 62

Leon

I tried to get Ana to leave Tread. I tried to convince her to abandon this idea of going up against Caledon with the Hand, at least for now. I wanted to get her to focus on Oclanna before she became too entangled in one of their risky schemes.

I guess I didn’t try hard enough. Now the rebels are busying themselves around Harman, unfurling maps and making notes about this absolute insanity of a plan that’s going to drag Ana directly into harm’s way.

I’d give anything to keep her out of it, but I know Ana will follow wherever her brother leads.

Which is why I have to get to him first.

“We need to talk,” I say, stepping up to the table.

The nearest rebels steal looks at me as they work, a mixture of curiosity and unease.

It’s different to the outright fear I’m used to getting from humans when they know who I am, but I suppose if any group of humans is going to be accepting of the number of Temple clerics I slayed in the war, it’ll be this bunch.

In some ways, I suppose I should be some kind of hero to the Hand.

And yet, they’re still not completely sure of me. Never quite comfortable around a man with so much death attached to him.

“Your Highness.” Harman puts the parchment he’s holding down. “Is now the best time? We have a lot of work to do.”

“Now is the perfect time,” I say, my response harsher than I mean it to be. After all, I’m trying to get this man to see things from my point of view.

Harman’s eyes tighten slightly, then he nods. “Very well. There’s a more private spot this way.”

He leads me deeper into the cave toward a network of smaller caverns at the back. Harman stops inside one of them, and I peer into the darkness, realizing they’re not caverns at all.

“Where do these tunnels lead?” I ask.

Harman shrugs. “Various places.”

“But I’m guessing at least one of them comes out near the Wirstones.” When Harman seems reluctant to answer, I straighten up. “The passages through those mountains may be associated with the rebels nowadays, but I used them back before even your grandfather was born.”

“Yes, and we appreciate having someone with so much experience on our side,” Harman says.

If, in fact, you’re on our side.

He doesn’t need to say the words for them to hang in the air between us.

Beating around the bush has never worked well for me, so I cut straight to the chase.

“I don’t think Morgana should go to Bastion,” I say.

Harman tilts his head thoughtfully. “Isn’t that up to her?”

“Fine, then—if you need me to say it, I want you to advise her not to go to Bastion.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not safe.”

“My men and women told me how she fought against the ruined in Hallowbane. She can handle herself.”

Irritation flares in my chest. I don’t appreciate him acting like I think Ana is helpless or fragile.

“It’s not about that,” I say. “Of course she’s capable. But since this mission doesn’t require her presence, it’s better she doesn’t take the risk.”

“On the contrary. She’s told me about her orbital abilities, and I think her powers could be very useful during the operation,” Harman counters.

“Useful enough that you’re willing to stake her life on it?”

“We’re all staking our lives, Prince Leonidas. That’s the nature of defying these Ethiran extremists. I thought you of all people would understand that.”

I try a different tack.

“Still, she’s your best bet at putting a ruler on the throne who will actually stand against the Temple. Surely that’s too precious to gamble with?”

Harman’s stare grows hard, and I think I may have offended him.

“That is not what makes my sister precious to me.”

“Yet you’ll still lure her to Bastion,” I growl.

“I’m not luring her anywhere. She’s a grown woman who can make her own choices.” At last, there’s a harsh edge to Harman’s voice. I’m making him angry, and I don’t care, not when he’s lying to himself and me like this.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t know what you were doing the day we arrived in Tread,” I say. “You knew she wanted allies, and you led her to believe the only way to get them was to join you on your crusade.”

“How can you act as if it’s solely my crusade when we have the same goal?” Harman demands, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“To start with,” I snap back, “Morgana’s goals involve her actually living to see the Temple fall. You seem less concerned about that.”

“Do you really think you’re the only one who truly cares about her well-being?” Harman scoffs.

I step closer toward him, using my height to dominate the space.

“Maybe I’m the only one who cares about it enough .”

“You’re holding her back in the name of keeping her safe,” Harman says.

“She told me about Gallawing. I know she spent most of her life locked up by people who justified everything with the idea that they were ‘keeping her safe.’ How are you any different to them? If you love my sister as I think you do, then you should be giving her the chance to achieve anything she wants, however dangerous the challenge might be.”

“That’s not…”

I gape at him for a second before regaining my composure. His accusations light a fire in me, as does his familiarity. He doesn’t know what’s running through my head.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” I snap. “I’m nothing like your father and his wife. And I’m not like you either, using her for your own vendettas.”

It’s Harman’s turn to take a step closer to me, his face contorted with anger.

“I’ve given my life to this cause over and over again, in nearly every conceivable way.

Sacrificed more than you could possibly imagine—because it’s clear to me you don’t know anything about sacrifice.

If you did, you’d let your own selfish desires go and give Morgana a chance.

She’ll already have enough to contend with trying to get her kingdom to accept her powers without some crazed fae prince getting in her way. ”

My fingers twitch, aching to become fists that grind this ignorant human into the dust. It would be so easy. So satisfying . A matter of seconds, and he’d be pasted against the back wall of this cave.

I stretch my fingers out, forcing them to relax, and let the urge for violence pass. I could show Harman exactly how crazed I can be, but I can also resist the impulse. No, I won’t play into his hands. Instead, I straighten up and turn to leave the side cavern.

“I can tell we won’t see eye to eye on this,” I say over my shoulder. “So I suggest you start making your plans, and make them thoroughly . Don’t have this mission become the reason we turn into enemies, Harman Sandale.”

As I walk back up to the surface, I try to shake off the argument. I don’t care what the Hand’s leader thinks. I know I will always do what’s best for Ana.

But maybe I have to work out what that is first.

When I return to our room at the Crossed Keys, I find her upset, sitting on the end of the bed.

She’s digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands, the way she does when she’s nervous or sad, and the sight of her in pain is enough to send a pang through my own chest. I sit beside her, taking her hands in mine and gently removing her fingers from her palm.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I told Tira I don’t think she should go on the mission. She didn’t take it well.” Ana looks up at me, her brows furrowing. “And please don’t tell me you don’t think I should go either. I can’t take any more arguing today.”

“I don’t like the idea,” I admit slowly. “But I also know you’ll go ahead with it anyway, regardless of what I think.”

She searches my face. “Is it still because of your parents? You really believe the rebels were involved?”

“No,” I say honestly. “By now I don’t think I need Alastor’s power to prove that—especially since I can tell he’s reluctant to use it on Harman. He’s spent too long with your brother, and now I think he rather likes him. Either way, I don’t think Harman has the answers I want.”

She strokes her thumb across my knuckles, encouraging me to go on.

“This is about wanting to keep you alive, Ana. This mission is risky and?—”

I stop myself, remembering her plea that we not argue. I’m pretty sure that includes trying to persuade her to abandon the plan altogether.

“Never mind,” I say. Instead of talking more, I lean in and kiss her, soaking up the soft touch of her lips against mine, inhaling her scent like it’s the last breath I’ll take.

Obviously, any attempt to change her mind would be a wasted effort.

And yet…my gut still urges me to do something.

I know where that instinct comes from—fear.

I looked into Wadestaff’s face in Hallowbane and knew I couldn’t survive losing my Marina.

The memory of his pain has kept me up at night since, terrified that if I’m not careful enough it will become my pain.

Because you love her.

I’d not been ready for Harman to just come out and say it—hadn’t even been willing to say it inside my own mind. But it’s true. I love Ana. Maybe I’ve been a little in love with her ever since she stood up to me in that inn in Otscold, and I’ve been falling ever since.

But where does that leave me?

I will do anything to keep Ana safe, yet beyond that, I don’t know what we can be to each other. Everyone seems to agree that what’s best for Ana isn’t a relationship with me. She’s on a particular path, pushed toward a cause much bigger than her or me alone. I have no idea where I fit.

I brush her hair out of her face, my chest full of the emotion I’ve only now been able to name. It occurs to me I could tell her right now—share everything that’s in my heart.

But no. That would be selfish. I won’t say it so close to the mission, when she needs to be focused on the challenge ahead.

She might even think I’m using the words to persuade her to stay.

For now, I’ll wait. Only when I know I have nothing to gain from the confession, when I know it’s what’s best for her, will I tell Morgana Angevire that I love her.