Page 6

Morgana

E tusca fidgets as I close the door behind me, leaving the two of us alone.

The freckled fae found us a private room before he took the others to their quarters.

Of course, Leon planted himself on the other side of that door, unwilling to leave me unsupervised for more than a few minutes.

But I convinced him this conversation, at least, should be between me and Etusca only.

As I examine her, I see that my nursemaid looks worse than she did at Gallawing.

Her face is thinner, and her once bright jade hair is even more faded.

I’m reminded of the dryad we met with in Hallowbane—nearly destroyed by years away from the Miravow—and something prickles beneath my skin. Guilt. Sympathy.

I push the feelings away, hardening my heart. I need to remember what Etusca did to me, or this will be too difficult.

“Are you finally going to talk to me? Or did you just bring me here to glare at me?” she asks tentatively.

“How could you?” I ask, the words rushing out of me like a dam bursting. It comes back to me so easily, the horror when it was confirmed what Etusca was doing to me all those years, the anger and hurt. The betrayal.

“I’m sorry, Morgana. I truly am.”

“Were you sorry two months ago?” I demand. “When you were still brewing up the potion and pouring it down my throat every morning? Or did that come later, after you handed me over to the fae on a silver platter? Could you just not stand the idea of me being free at last? Of truly knowing who I am?”

She takes a step closer, her hands lifted, entreating.

“I know it’s a mess, Morgana. But please, let me explain.

” She sniffs. “When the prince got that message to me in Elmere, I was sick with worry. I didn’t know what they’d done to you.

There were all these terrible rumors flying around.

I would’ve done anything to find you again.

He promised me we could be reunited, but he also told me he knew what you were. ”

She drops her voice to a whisper, eyeing the walls like they have ears.

“A solari. He said he knew Trova wasn’t safe for you, but he could take you to Filusia where you would be protected.

He knew you wouldn’t go willingly, but he assured me if we could just get you over the border, you’d see reason. ”

“So you brewed him a fresh batch of your poison and let him do the rest,” I throw back.

I’m not blind. I see the tears in her eyes, and for the love of the gods, part of me still wants to go to her, to ease her pain. She’s been my family my entire life—one of the few people I ever believed I could rely on. But she betrayed that trust. What she’s done to me can’t just be wiped away.

“I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, Morgana. But making that potion was his condition for me ever seeing you again. And I needed to find you, to make sure you were alright. Because I love you.”

“And I suppose that’s your definition of love, isn’t it? Lying to someone their whole life and keeping them locked up. Even when my magic killed someone, you wouldn’t tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t know what to do. If I hadn’t followed your parents’ orders all those years, they’d have sent me away. And then they were dead, and I was the only one who knew. It was horrible keeping it from you, Morgana, you have to believe me. But I did it to keep you sa?—”

“No,” I snap. “Don’t say it. I might scream if I hear another person say it. You didn’t do all this to keep me safe. You did it to keep me weak .”

“Weak and alive,” Etusca throws back, a glint of defiance on her tear-stained face. “Isn’t that better than the alternative?”

I gape at her, wondering how she can say that, knowing what life was like for me in that manor, how miserable I was.

It wasn’t the lack of magic that was slowly destroying me, it was the isolation and neglect—and in the end, with Bede, even abuse.

All the fine clothes and good food in the world didn’t make up for that.

For all my unhappiness, she couldn’t see it. Apparently, she still can’t.

Maybe she’s so faded from her time away from the Miravow that she doesn’t remember what real living is. It seems she and I were both ghosts in that place, keeping each other trapped there.

A fresh tightness blossoms in my chest as I realize she can’t give me what I want. I wish I could just make her my enemy, a traitor I can hate without any complexity. But there’s too much affection between us for that. That’s why it hurts so much.

“Leave,” I say, my throat aching from trying to hold it all back.

Her eyes widen. “What?”

“Leave and go home, Etusca. Go back to the Miravow. I don’t want you here anymore.”

This is what we both need. What’s done can’t be undone, and I can’t stand to look at her a moment longer. At least if she goes back to Agathyre, I know I’ve done what’s best for both of us. She can be healthy again there among her own people. Surely, she’ll be happier that way.

Desperation clouds her features, and she rushes forward, grabbing my hand.

“No, Morgana. See sense. You need me. You can’t just?—”

I wrench my fingers from her grasp. My hand immediately feels empty, so I tense it into a fist.

“If you really care about me, you’ll return to Agathyre and never come back.

” She’s still shaking her head, denying my words, so I push even harder.

“If you don’t go, I’ll call Leon in here now and make him take you away.

You don’t think he will? He doesn’t care what happens to you, as long as I cooperate with him. So get out.”

I don’t meet her eyes as she walks away, her body hunched and defeated. Instead, I turn my back on her. I don’t want her to see what I’ve been trying to hold back through the whole conversation.

Hot tears slip down my cheek as the door closes behind her.

She lied to me, she helped keep me captive, but she’s also the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever known.

And despite everything, I still love Etusca too.

I’m emotionally battered when I emerge from the room. Leon’s still standing there, presumably having given Etusca the all-clear to leave after I banished her. Even that wouldn’t be allowed without his approval.

As his eyes turn to me, I see the concern swirling in their gray depths.

It only makes me feel worse, facing another person who’s betrayed me, and yet still tells himself he was justified in what he did.

For once, I’d like someone to acknowledge they had other choices—that taking my freedom from me wasn’t their only option. Apparently, that’s asking for too much.

“Don’t,” I say, waving a hand at him when he’s about to say something. “Just take me to Tira.”

Leon leads me to my room in silence. I use the opportunity to take in more of the Lyceum.

To my surprise, it isn’t like any school I could’ve imagined.

Trova has military academies for training their soldiers, but their studies are all about battles and strategy.

And I can’t imagine the training centers for the Temple’s acolytes are anything like this.

Colorful lanterns line the halls, throwing a delightful rainbow of light across the student mages as they walk by. Vaulted ceilings soar above us—higher than any roof I’ve ever seen—and every now and then I hear a distant melody drifting on the air, the tune strangely familiar.

At one point, we pass an archway with huge doors flung wide open.

Beyond it, stretching to the ceiling, is a sea of bookshelves groaning under the weight of thick tomes and stacks of parchment.

Mages sit at rows of tables, quietly reading or scratching notes with quills.

It makes the library at Gallawing look like a ragged little heap of books in comparison.

“Here. Tira made it clear you’d want to continue sharing a room,” Leon says when we arrive in a wing with several doors leading off it.

She was right. Neither of us want to be separated more than we have to in this strange place, surrounded by people we don’t know—plus the handful who we know but don’t trust. Having my best friend at my side is the only thing keeping me sane.

I grab the handle of the door Leon indicates, but I stop when I see him do the same to the door just to the right of mine.

“What are you doing?” I ask, a prickle of displeasure running up my spine.

“Going to my room,” he says. “It’s not like I’ve gotten much chance to rest since your midnight escapades.”

I ignore his sarcasm, focusing on the realization that for the length of our stay, I’ll be forced to be near Leon. With him so close, I’ll be constantly aware of his presence, even when trying to sleep.

“Why did you have to pick that one?” I say, throwing my arm out. “There’s a dozen other rooms in this wing.”

He shrugs. “I wanted this one.”

“You wanted whichever room would show I have no power in this situation at all. Because you know I want you as far away from me as possible.”

“Just because you can’t stand the sight of me doesn’t mean I’m going to take my eye off you,” he replies. He doesn’t say anything else about this being what’s “best” for me, but I know he’s thinking it as he fixes me with a smug stare.

I pull my gaze away, refusing to play his game. Maybe he’s not deliberately trying to provoke me, but my aggravation grows all the same. I’m raw from my conversation with Etusca, and I still burn with rage every time I think about what happened at the border.

“Fine,” I say stiffly. “But don’t call me unless Gallis is ready to start teaching me.” If I can’t avoid him entirely, I can at least put a few inches of solid wood between me and him for the rest of the day.

Say what you will about the fae, but they have good carpenters. I enjoy how loud a bang my door makes as I slam it shut behind me.

“Now, His Highness tells me you are twin-blessed,” Gallis says to me the next day.

“Yes,” I reply. “I can orbit things, in addition to my sun beam power.”