Page 34 of Forever My Siren Luna (The Hidden Cove #2)

Cedric and I walk in an awkward silence, trailing behind the kids as they lead the way to the beach. Westley found a giant stick along the way, and snapped it in half, giving one part of it to Riley so they could use them as swords.

I laughed when Riley twirls it above his head, and Westley’s eyes bug out in amazement.

I love children. They are fascinated so easily.

Taking a peek at Cedric, I can tell he is nervous. My smile faltered as guilt settled in my chest.

Tentatively, I reached out and touched the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I was pretty horrible to you the last few times we spoke. You shouldn’t have to feel this nervous around me.”

He gave me a hesitant smile back. “You were righteous in your anger. I would have been angry too if I had suffered as you did.”

“Maybe, but I had no right to ever take that anger out on you. I didn’t even give you a chance to tell me the whole story. I got mad and sent you away. The fault there lies with me and me alone.”

He grimaced. “Not entirely. If I had…. If I had been near you when you ran, I could have-”

“You could have done nothing, Cedric. Nothing would have changed. Not for the better, anyway.”

We had reached the sandy shore, so I kicked my shoes off to carry in one hand and walked to the familiar piece of driftwood, the one doomed to hold all my heartfelt conversations.

“I’m sorry, princess,” Cedric sat on the log beside me, both of us facing the two boys who are now using their sticks to draw pictures in the sand. "But, what do you mean by that? Not for the better?”

I stared out across the ocean, trying to find the right way to word what I wanted to say.

“I was stuck in my own sorrow here, Cedric. I was lost in my past, and it was hurting the way I viewed my future. I never would have broken out of that mold my trauma trapped me in. I was trying to rely on my own strength, but I didn’t know how to do it. ”

I pressed my lips together, my eyes moving to the three ships anchored at sea.

“When I woke up upon Jack’s ship, that all too familiar fear and anxiety creeped over me, inhibiting me from doing anything but cower while searching for a way to escape.

What was different was that I was among people who went through similar traumas as me.

They helped show me how to use my past as a source of strength.

I never would have imagined being able to fight like I can.

You should see Val. She is magnificent in battle. ”

Val growled playfully in my chest, thrilled with my praise.

“I could see that,” Cedric mumbled. “I had never been more scared in my life.”

“Scared of Val?” I smirked.

“Scared for you,” he huffed. “I thought some beast was trying to mangle you. I didn’t know you were the one doing the mangling.”

I shrugged. “I needed to prove a point. I’m tired of people underestimating me. It creates the same feeling as being trapped in a cage.”

He stared at the pirate ships, seeing movement on the water which was catching both of our attentions.

A rowboat is coming our way. Jack by the looks of it. Young Joe is with him.

I grinned, knowing Westley is going to enjoy speaking with a pirate. He is a curious little boy and has tons of questions. He will drive Jack mad.

“Did you suffer at all?” Cedric asked, following my gaze. “Did you get hurt at all while you were away?”

I turned to smile at him. “Not at all. Once I realized they were just like me, I felt like I had a purpose for the first time in my life. I…. I loved it. I loved the freedom I felt living at sea in a completely new way. I lost my fins again when I lost my necklace,” I rested my hand over the pendant on my throat.

“But losing it showed me that I had true strength outside of my magic to depend on. I had strength as a Lycan, not just a siren. If I hadn’t run away I never would have found that out about myself.

” I reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry for what I put you through.

Making you and everyone who cares about me worry is my only regret about leaving.

Yes, I wish I had stayed and listened to you fully, but I’m happy with myself now.

If you are holding any blame, I wish you wouldn’t.

I’m happy.” I squeezed his hand. “I want you to be happy too.”

The corner of his mouth lifted up in a smirk. “You are speaking in reference to the stiff Gamma who is still following me around?” Cedric laughed lightly. “Don’t worry there. I’m just making him earn it.”

“Well,” I grinned, “If that’s the case, I want to be the first to know when you finally find Meldec deserving. The poor man needs a vacation because of all the stress I caused him. I’ll put a word in with his Alpha. I think I still have some pull over the man.”

“I would say you do,” Cedric scoffed. “Watching the Alpha over the past several months while you were away was eye-opening. His devotion was unwavering. I felt a lot of guilt for the grief I gave the man in the past.”

I smirked. “He deserved some grief.” The past changed us both. For the better. Without the little, or a lot of grief he had to overcome, I don’t think I could be in a place where I am willing to forgive him like I’m trying to do now. “He needed to earn it too.”

“You’re right,” Cedric squeezed my hand. “I guess it's almost time for both of us to give our mates some slack.”

“Ehh,” I shrugged. “Maybe soon.”

I think I still need a bit more time before I fully give in to the bond between me and Lachlan.

I really want him to earn it. I just need to make sure I’m staying open and willing to let him earn it again.

Not because of the mate bond, or because neither one of us wants to face a rejection and what that could do to the pack.

I truly want us to earn each other's love and trust this time, so we know that the past can’t hold us captive anymore.

Jack rowed the boat right up to the shore, then leapt over the side to pull it onto the beach.

Both boys stopped writing in the sand and using their sticks to dig for seashells to stare at them with curious gazes.

“Woah,” Westley gaped, holding no reservations and running right up to Jack. “Are you a real pirate?”

Jack chuckled deeply. “Aye, lad. Are you a real boy?”

Westley wrinkled his nose. “That’s a stupid question.”

“No it’s not. You could be a dwarf or a pixie for all I know.”

Westley stared up at him like he’s crazy.

Riley is much more hesitant, choosing to come closer to me and Cedric instead of joining his friend in his inspection of the pirates.

“You alright, Riley?” I asked, resting my hand on his shoulder.

He wrinkled his nose. “He smells like my first dad used to when he was really sad.”

The rum and alcohol scent of Jack must be bugging Riley. Smells have a way of bringing back the worst of memories.

“That is my friend Jack. He may have the same smell, but he is very nice. He won’t hurt you.”

“Daddy didn’t hurt me,” Riley mumbled in a voice so quiet I had to lean closer to him. “He just smelled like that when he was really sad. Is your friend really sad?”

I pressed my lips together, not sure how to answer.

Jack is carrying a lot of grief on his shoulders. A lot of guilt. For his mate and his pack. I can’t criticize him for how he deals with that.

“Do you want me to take you back to Kent? I’m getting a bit tired, so I wouldn’t mind walking back with you.”

“But what about Westley?”

“We can all go,” I looked up and called for Westley, who was now telling Joe that he couldn’t be a pirate because he was just a kid. “You two go get your sticks so you can practice your sword fighting on the way back.”

“You're leaving already, lass?” Jack grinned lazily at me, tilting his head. “I haven’t seen much of you as of late. I was hoping we could catch up a bit.”

“I just need to get the boys back to the castle. Lunch is soon. Do you two want to join us?”

Jack smiled and he looked a bit relieved for whatever reason. “Sure. That would be great, Ela. Joe and I will meet you in the dining hall and hope we avoid that bloody commander with no neck and no sense of humor.”

He’s talking about Commander Claus. I heard this morning at the meeting that Commander Claus was the one organizing the escorts for the crew. I told him the pirates were all trustworthy and there wasn’t a need.

Lachlan agreed, so the escorts will probably come to a stop today, even though the guards stationed around the town will be doubled for the time being.

“I think you will be in the clear,” I laughed at Jack. “See you soon.”

Cedric and I walked back towards the castle together, Westley taking the lead again, back to the warrior’s training grounds.

“Ela, I have to ask you, that man, your pirate captain, did anything ever happen between the two of you?”

I could not keep the look of disgust off my face. “Like, as man and woman?” I quickly added, “Or man and man? I mean, do you mean romantically?”

Cedric smirked, nodding gently. He seemed amused by my disgust.

“Not at all. He is like a brother. I see him the same as you or Cherum.”

“Hmm,” Cedric rested his hand on my back and leaned in to whisper, “that man does not see you as a sister, princess. He looks at you with the eyes of a man in lust.”

“No way,” I grimaced.

“Just be careful, my friend. He all but tried to stake his claim over you to your husband once. If you really are trying to make things work with the Alpha, make sure you keep that in mind when your pirate captain is near.”

All through lunch, I watched Jack. Really watched him and tried to see what Cedric was seeing.

Cherum, Percy, Yasmin and Lachlan were there along with my two pirate friends. Jack and Joe sat across from Lachlan and me. Much to Lachlan’s annoyance.