Page 24 of Forever After All (Pine Harbour #2)

Pulling myself out of that memory, I look to Autumn as she kicks off her shoes, sits on the couch cross-legged, and pulls a large blanket over herself.

Jed jumps up on the couch next to her. I'd planned to go to Autumn's tomorrow, to speak to her about everything, but she's been so loved up and is still in her honeymoon phase.

I don't want to take away from it at all.

She deserves the love that she has so much and I want her to bask in it for as long as possible.

I sink into the couch next to my best friend. I guess this is as good of a time as any.

"Remember Danny?" I ask, and she looks at me confused and puzzled.

"Danny, your ex? My god, I hated that guy," she nonchalantly replies.

"What?" I balk at her, because as far as I knew, she thought he was great.

"Yeah, I couldn't put my finger on it, but, fuck, he was not quite right. I never said anything at the time because I wasn't a bitch and didn’t want to shit on you being happy."

I’m completely taken aback, because everyone—and I mean everyone— loved Danny. Suave, charming, a real people pleaser. At least to everyone but me.

"Well, funny you should say that…" I start. "He's dead."

"Oh, umm…R.I.P., I guess?" She shrugs at me, not able to give any less of a shit. "Why are you telling me this? I don't understand."

"Autumn, he—" I pause, not really knowing how to tell her everything that is to follow. Involuntarily, I clench my fists at my sides in worry. "He hurt me. Really fucking bad."

She sits up in her seat and the fury radiating out of her is almost palpable.

"What did he do to you?" she asks, shuffling across the seat, to bring herself closer to me and our knees bump together.

I look at Autumn and my eyes brim with tears. Every ounce of my being is spent trying to stop them from spilling out onto my cheeks.

"Oh, Ali. What did he do to you?" She grabs my hand, and I tell Autumn every single detail, not holding anything back—from the bruises and the mental torment to the threats and the fear I had for my life, leading up to the day I left.

When I manage to get to the part about him cutting off my hair, I grab a pillow, cover my face with it, and scream.

I just scream so loudly and for so fucking long.

Over a decade's worth of hurt spills out in that scream.

The relief at finally talking about what happened to me is too much, and without being able to control it any longer, I cry and I cry until I don't think it is possible to produce any more tears.

Jed jumps down from the couch, moves to my side and nudges my leg with his snout before a long, low howl escapes him. "I'm okay, buddy, I'm okay." I reach out to play with his silky ears. We don't give dogs enough credit for how intuitive they are.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I hated the fucking guy.

Maybe if I had, this never would have happened.

" Autumn fights back her own tears and her bottom lip wobbles as she talks through her own guilt.

"Your hair, Alice, your beautiful hair." She pulls my mop of drying hair into her hands and plays with the ends of it, as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

The pain in my best friend's face causes me to break down again as the last twelve years of my own torment is finally released.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing. It's one of the reasons I came here. It wasn't just because of you, Autumn."

"Rude," she replies with a little laugh, trying to defuse the severity of the conversation.

"I was so scared he was going to end up killing me.

So I ran as far away as I could and I ran to you.

" We hold hands, and she rubs the back of mine with her thumb.

"My mum and dad didn't know. They still don't know, and they still think he was amazing, which is why my mum texted me to tell me about him dying.

She was so shocked he was found with a needle sticking out of his arm. "

"I hope he rots in hell." She sniffs at me, and I nod in agreement.

"Well, this is where Carter comes in. Because the night of the hockey game is the night I found out about Danny dying.

And when I left, it's because I was on the verge of a panic attack, which is exactly what happened as soon as I stepped into the fresh air.

" I start to explain about how Carter kept me safe in the midst of my own personal horror.

"I wish I'd come with you. It should have been me, not him." She shakes her head, looking disappointed in herself.

"I don't, because I never would have told you, Autumn." That part is especially hard to confess. "I wasn't ready. Carter was my angel that night, in more ways than one. I told him everything then I begged him to stay and I kissed him,"

"Wait, then what?" she asks quizzically.

"I don't really think you want to know the rest." I press my hands to my face and look at my best friend through my fingers.

"Absolutely not, changed my mind, I want to know everything." Autumn squeezes my hand, urging me to elaborate .

"Well, we had sex there." I point to the window. "Right over there." I point to the chair where Autumn threw her bag. "Oh, and riiiight there." And gesture to the exact seat that she's in.

"Great, I'm sitting in a Jackson Pollock painting." She scrunches up her face, trying to fake disgust.

"We've been messaging back and forth for the last week, then he came to my work today. He was in one of the same meetings that I was in and he dragged me into a restroom, pulled my dress up, my underwear down, and fingered me as I watched myself in the mirror,” I add.

"Well, fuck, that's impressive." She blows out a whistle.

"Then, he bent me over and fucked me before leaving me in a puddle of our cum on the floor…and that pretty much brings us to now." I gesture around the room, and at my tear-stained face.

"I'm so fucking mad at him.” She snickers.

"Wait, what? What did he do?" A small giggle escapes my mouth.

"I knew something more was going on—I just knew it.

So I went to his before I came here and he wouldn't say a fucking word.

Not a word. Didn't tell me anything. Not about Danny, not about you guys becoming close friends, not about your trysts.

I fucking missed it all. Can't believe I was that dumb to miss it.

" A small sense of pride warms me from the inside to know Carter had my back, even when I wasn't there.

I shake my head at my best friend. "Not dumb, girl. Just in love and have your own life."

"My god, what are we going to do with you, Alice?" She sighs.

"I don't know, but I am a fucking wreck and I can't drag Carter into it.

It isn't fair." I twist my hands together in my lap.

"I like him, I really like him." I admit this out loud for the first time, and surprise myself.

"But I know that I'm going to fuck it up.

I just know I will." I wrestle with myself, trying to search for a solution, knowing deep down what I need to do.

"I need to go back to England for the funeral.

I don't think I'm ever going to get closure unless I do. "

"Well, let's go then." Autumn pulls her phone out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I'm asking Sawyer to find my passport. You're not doing this alone."

The love I have for my best friend gets stronger the longer I have known her. She would drop everything in her life for me, as I would for her. Autumn has her own demons attached to our childhood hometown, and as much as I would love her to be there, I just can't do that to her.

"I need to do this by myself, I want to go alone.

I need to go alone. I want to look at his coffin and know that he'll never get to hurt me or anyone else again," I say, and Autumn nods once, understanding completely.

"I was supposed to be seeing Carter on Friday night, we were going to set some boundaries, but I know that I need to go—probably as soon as tomorrow. "

"Look, you do what you need to do, okay? Just tell him, because I'm telling you, that man is in love with you, Ali."

I shake my head, shrugging off what she says. "He's in love with the good stuff between my legs." I laugh a little, and she shakes her head.

"I'm serious, Alice. Don't break his heart on the way to fixing your own. As much as he is a pain in the ass, he is my pain in the ass. Don't hurt him, Al." Her protectiveness for her new brother-in-law is coming out.

"I won't, I promise." I pull Autumn into a hug, and Jed nudges my leg once more.

It's nearing midnight and I yawn.

"Look, I'm going to go, okay? But I’m here, whenever you need me, I'm here for anything. Please send me your flight details." Autumn squeezes my thigh a little. "Let me know when you land and where you're staying."

Autumn and Jed leave the apartment, and I'm still wrapped in my blanket.

I pull out my phone and shoot Brenna a text.

Me: Hey, girl, I'm sorry it's late. You know what you said about taking a few days off? Well, can you cover for me for the rest of the week? I need to go back to England; I'm going to fly tomorrow if I can.

Brenna: Sure, Alice. Not a problem at all. Want me to speak to Anna tomorrow??

Me: That would be great. Can you just tell her that I'm going back home for a funeral? I don't want the questions.

Brenna: Spit on his fucking grave, Alice. You hear me?

I drop my phone, and drag the blanket over me, not even bothering to go to bed. I close my heavy eyes and drift off into a deep sleep.