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LUCIA

I t happened so fast that I didn’t have time to process what I was seeing.

One second, I was leaning against the garage wall, Gianna perched on my lap as we watched the screen showing the race, our matching Belen headsets covering our ears. The next, a flash of debris scattered across the track, and chaos unfolded in the high-speed section.

My heart stopped. Matteo’s car spun out of control, his tires smoking as he skidded toward the runoff area. My hand flew to my mouth, stifling a scream as Gianna clutched at me, her tiny fingers digging into my jacket. The screen cut to a different angle. My brother’s car came to a stop, smoke curling from the back, but he was moving. I exhaled a shaky breath as he climbed out, pulling his helmet off and throwing it aside. Relief hit me like a wave, but it was short-lived.

Because then I saw Alexander.

His car collided with another, debris clipping the nose, sending him into a spin. My stomach twisted into knots as the car flipped, the tires catching just enough to launch it into the air. It tumbled violently, end over end, before slamming into the barrier.

On the screen, Matteo was running—no, sprinting—toward the wreckage. His face was pale, his expression unreadable, but I knew. He was running for Alexander.

The crowd noise in the background turned into a dull roar, a wave of gasps and murmurs rippling through the grandstands. My pulse hammered in my ears as the medical team swarmed the scene, their fluorescent vests a blur of motion around the crumpled car.

“Mommy,” Gianna’s tiny voice quivered, pulling my attention back. Her eyes were wide, filled with fear, as she looked up at me. “What’s wrong?”

I swallowed hard, fighting back the lump rising in my throat. I didn’t know what to say. My lips moved, but no words came out. Instead, I hugged her close, my hand trembling as I ran it over her curls. Staying brave for her, staying brave for him.

Through my headset, the radio crackled faintly. For a few agonizing seconds, there was nothing but static. Then, finally, “I’m…I’m fine.”

Alexander’s voice. Shaky, but there.

I exhaled a sob of relief, gripping the headset as if I could will him to hear me. “He’s okay,” I whispered, mostly to myself. “He’s okay.”

The screen showed Matteo crouched beside the medical team, his hand on Alexander’s shoulder as they pulled him from the wreck. Alexander looked dazed, his movements sluggish, but he was upright. He was alive.

Tears blurred my vision as I clutched Gianna tighter. I wanted to run to him, to see him with my own eyes, to reassure myself that he was really okay. But all I could do was sit there, my body shaking as the adrenaline coursed through me.

He was okay. But I wouldn’t feel whole again until I could see him, touch him with my own two hands.

“Mommy?” Gianna asked again, her small voice grounding me.

I kissed the top of her head, my lips brushing her soft curls. “It’s okay, sweetheart. There was a crash, but everyone is okay.”

The time spent waiting for Alexander was agonizing. Both he and Matteo were retired from the race, along with two other drivers, one being Alex’s competitor, Theo. The medical team had taken Alexander for evaluation, and Matteo had gone with him, leaving me in the pit with Gianna clinging to my side. Every second felt like an eternity, my mind running through worst-case scenarios no matter how many times I told myself he had said he was fine.

The atmosphere in the garage was subdued, the earlier energy snuffed out. The crew moved quietly, their usual chatter silenced as they focused on packing up equipment. Occasionally, someone would glance at me, their expressions filled with concern, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet their eyes.

Gianna was unusually quiet, her small hand clutching mine as she pressed against my side. Her Barbie, dressed in its tiny racing suit, sat forgotten on the workbench nearby.

“Mommy, when can we see Alex?” she asked, her voice soft but steady.

“Soon, sweetheart,” I promised, though I didn’t know if it was true. “They’re just making sure he’s okay.”

The words felt hollow, even to me. I had seen the crash. The car flipping, the force of the impact. My mind kept replaying it, each rotation of the car etched in vivid detail.

The minutes ticked by until finally, Matteo appeared at the entrance to the garage. His face was drawn, his hair a mess from running his hands through it, but his eyes softened when they met mine.

“He’s okay,” he said, his voice breaking the heavy silence.

Relief hit me so hard that my knees buckled slightly. Matteo was at my side in an instant, his hands steadying me.

“He’s bruised up, maybe a mild concussion, but the halo did its job,” Matteo continued, his voice gentler now. “He’s asking for you.”

I didn’t need to hear anything else. Scooping Gianna into my arms, I followed Matteo out of the garage and through the maze of hallways to the medical center.

When I stepped into the room, the sight of Alexander sitting on the edge of the bed, his hair tousled and a few smudges of dirt still on his face, made my chest tighten.

“Hey,” he said, his voice softer than usual. His eyes lit up when he saw us, and his smile, though faint, was genuine.

Gianna wriggled out of my arms and ran to him, her small arms wrapping around his waist. “Alex!” she cried, her voice muffled against his chest.

“Hey, little racer,” he murmured, his hand gently brushing her hair. “I’m okay, see?”

I stood there for a moment, my feet rooted to the spot as emotion welled up inside me.

He was here.

He was alive.

Alexander looked up at me, his gaze warm despite the exhaustion etched across his features. “Come here,” he said softly, holding out his free arm.

I crossed the room in a few quick strides, wrapping my arms around both of them as a tear slipped down my cheek. His hand came up to cradle the back of my head.

“You scared the hell out of me,” I whispered, tears breaking free.

“I know,” he replied, his voice tinged with regret. “Scared the hell out of me as well.”

Anna walked into the room, typing away on her phone, checking in with the aides and crew in the room. She walked over, a sullen expression on her face.

“Hey,” she said gently to Alexander, “how are you feeling?”

“Been better,” Alexander replied with a small smirk. She rolled her eyes, Gianna traced the tattoos on his hand.

“They want a post-race interview so the fans can see you are okay. Simon is requesting to see you as soon as possible, as well as a meeting post interview with the team.” She rattled off the list, dragging down her finger on the screen. Alexander only nodded.

“Shouldn’t you rest?” I asked. Alex looked up to me with soft eyes.

“Yeah, that’s after.” He shrugged but let out a groan from moving. He was mostly stiff from the impact. The doctor had mentioned that the stiffness would be the biggest issue within the next few days but otherwise he was cleared.

So the day went on as normal. Or what was normal for a high-performance race car driver. Alexander did his interviews. Matteo left with a reassuring smile and a forehead kiss for Gianna before going to meet with his own team. Gianna and I eventually made our way into our own lounge room. I sat in a bit of a daze, worrying. Matteo had been in crashes but nothing this big, and watching Alexander’s car flip on screen had been the worst feeling in the world.

The door creaked open, and Nicola slipped in, the crew key card and VIP tag around her neck on a lanyard. I vaguely noticed how dressed up she was today, the tailored vest and matching trousers, the click of her heels.

“Hey,” she said gently, sitting down next to me. Gianna ran over, giving her a hug before going back to her toys and happily entertaining herself.

“You okay?” she asked after I didn’t reply.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah.” I sighed.

“It’s a lot to watch,” Nicola said, leaning back, kicking off her heels and huddling under the blanket with me. I smiled as she leaned in, resting on my shoulder. I tipped my head to lean on hers in response.

“Mm-hm,” I said halfheartedly.

“But it is a part of the job, Alex has had a big crash before, so have many other drivers. They know the risks, and there’s so much in place, like the halo for the driver’s safety.” Nicola kept going. Reassuring me with facts and experiences, making my heart calm down eventually.

“Thank you,” I said after she was done. I squeezed her tight and she brushed it off with a laugh.

“I know, what would you do without me, huh?” Her million dollar smile was on display and I rolled my eyes at her. Amazed that only a few short months ago I didn’t even know her. That in that small amount of time she had somehow wormed her way into my life, and into my heart. It felt so healing to have a friend, an adult friend. Because that shit was hard.

I took the time in the lounge with my two favorite girls and let my thoughts roam. The whole point of me coming on the road with Matteo had been to get out of my comfort zone, to find what excited me, find my spark again. And along the way Alexander had gone from my brother’s best friend, to my own friend, to my fake boyfriend, to wherever we were now. I knew one thing for sure, I wasn’t faking any feelings anymore, not for the cameras or the tabloids. I wanted to be in his life for real. Today had all but cemented that. Feeling like I was watching his life flash before my eyes, then him walking away with hardly a scratch. Life was too damn short to not take exactly what you wanted.

I wanted us.