Page 39 of For Life

Ant was safe for the time being—according to the text Jefferson sent me—they were settled back at home in bed. I would see if they wanted me there for support in the morning. As much as I wanted them to be mine, and thinking of them dying gutted me, I wouldn’t impose or assume.

Who was I kidding?

Dinner and a big talk with my mom, a call to my sister to let her know I’d repair any damage done, and then I’d probably collapse. I was going forty hours without sleep, and I knew my mom’s cooking would have me crashing in my childhood bed.

Then? Then I would be there for Ant. Whether they asked for it or not.

Chapter twenty-six

ANT

WAKINGLONELYANDDESPONDENTfor a second time, the bright sunshine mocked my blue mood. I couldn’t help wallowing in my own self-pity, going over every moment, from sharing personal stories to begging Maxx to breed me and leave his mark.

At least I was all cried out after falling asleep in a puddle of my own tears.

I really thought we’d made a connection, me and Maxx. He gave me a taste of having a Daddy, someone to match my feisty will and primal fantasies, and I wanted more.

It was just being stuck together, trauma bonding, not real…my brain said on repeat.

My brain could be an asshole.

A knock at the door had me throwing a pillow over my head like I could hide when my door wasn’t locked and they’d been in and out all night. I wasn’t sure when I’d be comfortable with a locked door again, but it wasn’t the day after being in a cage.

“Ant, are you awake?”

July’s voice was followed by the door creaking open and the sound of multiple feet entering. Great, maybe the whole triad was there to check on the poor, sad roommate. I didn’t answer, but I did uncover my head.

First all I saw was July—in his customary suspenders and slacks he probably designed and tailored himself—but his smile was different. More eager and less pitying, and he kept eyeing the doorway. Maxx was standing there at the threshold of my room, wearing workout clothes that showed off his delicious muscles, and holding a pink box and an iced coffee, like a mirage.

“Are you really there?”

Maxx’s face switched from concerned to laughter so fast, I thought I really must be dreaming. He even came forward and opened the box to reveal a dozen frosted donuts like he was presenting me with a ring.

Yep. For sure a figment of my imagination. I spent hours thinking of Maxx and how much I wanted him until I was almost resigned that I wouldn’t have him, and this dream-Maxx shows up to help my shattered sanity cope. Those calves were too toned and his hair too perfect. I was good at deluding myself into false happiness.

Then he reached out a hand to brush my messy hair out of my eyes and kissed my temple, the warmth and pressure getting through to me that he wasn’t a delusion.

“You’re really here,” I bit my lip and swallowed hard. No more crying, dammit. “For real?”

“I’m really here, tiger. For real.”

Maxx pressed our heads together as the sound of my door closing reached my ears. I didn’t care if it was open or closed. If we had an audience or were alone again. Maxx was touching me and kissing me anywhere he could reach.

“I missed you so much,” I whined and pushed back, “Why didn’t you check on me?”

“I’m so sorry I made you worried, my little tiger,” Maxx set the coffee on my nightstand and then moved the donuts too. “I had to give a full report and then I resigned. I wanted to tell my mother first and make sure she wasn’t actually sick after all my lies. And then I wanted to come with the best kind of apology: sugar. I hope you can forgive me?”

“Of course I can– wait, you quit being a cop?”

“Yeah. Oh, and I’m going back to college,” Maxx added as an afterthought, “More importantly, I don't want to stop seeing you. Every day, if I can?”

“God, yes,” I guessed and then grumbled at him standing back up, “I want you in any and every way, Maxx.”

“Is this okay?” Maxx pulled the covers back to lay down beside me and I nodded eagerly.

It was a queen, so we had plenty of room. We still ended up holding each other in the middle with Maxx petting me and our arms wrapped tight like he might float away. We kissed and cuddled, but no words were needed when it turned into heavy petting of a less innocent nature.

“I want you so bad,” Maxx stopped our kiss to look me in the eyes with an intensity I hadn’t seen there before. “Is that wrong? That I want to claim you again and undo any other hands that have been on you? And not just because they hurt you…”