Page 5 of Flameborne: Fury (Emberquell Academy #2)

SOUNDTRACK: Step Back by Loveless

~ DONAVYN ~

I lay there sweating and aching, muttering in my head about Kgosi’s laughter.

‘You should have woken me sooner,’ I sent bitterly.

‘I wasn’t the one who did.’

I frowned. I’d heard his voice in the—

A heavy knock pounded on my door and I startled again. Shit. That’s what woke me. Scrambling out of bed, I threw a robe around my shoulders and held the tie closed at the front, praying it would hide my still stimulated body.

Bren’s head sinking back, her eyes closing and mouth open—

Fuck!

I reached the door and threw back the bolt, yanking it open to find a startled Ronen, whose brows rose as he scanned from my undoubtedly sweaty hair, down the hurriedly-tied robe, to my bare feet.

“Sir?” he said uneasily.

“What is it? Did something happen to Bren?” I blurted, then snapped my teeth closed over the words, begging God to turn back time to the moment before her Wing Commander’s curious look turned wary.

“Bren’s fine,” he said hesitantly. “Are you?”

“Yes, yes, of course. I’m sorry. I was asleep. Just startled, that’s all. What’s going on?”

Ronen frowned. “You asked me to come in. To discuss her assessments and make our plan for the third trial?”

Shit. That’s right. I’d forgotten. God, I was a mess.

‘You certainly are,’ Kgosi drawled in my head. I growled back at him and ushered Ronen inside, apologizing that I’d need a moment to dress, then hurried back to my room.

As I splashed water on my face and chest and begged my body to calm down, I tried to focus.

The need for this meeting wasn’t unique to Bren.

Over the next two days, I’d have meetings with the Wing Captains of each of the five Flameborne who’d been passed yesterday.

And the results of those discussions were of critical importance.

They would determine Bren’s—and her Flameborne brothers’—entire future.

When I could look in the mirror and see a man who was at least in charge of his body, if not his thoughts, I dressed quickly then marched out to Ronen, who’d taken a seat at the dining table in my great room. The table that was rarely used for dining. Much more often for talk of war.

Pushing away the memories of the dream, I dropped into the seat across from Ronen and took the sheaf of papers he offered.

“Her flying assessment notes and the evaluations from her First Rank raising,” he explained as I flipped through them, barely reading a word. “They’re pretty standard. Nothing in particular stood out—except her courage,” he said proudly. “But yesterday…”

I looked up as he offered a second set of papers, thinner than the first. I took them, rolling my jaw. I already knew the notes I’d hurriedly relayed to the scribe. So, I flipped past those to Mont’s notes, scanning them and nodding.

Mont was never one for florid compliments, so there were few words and even fewer emotions.

But his thoughts reflected mine, though we hadn’t discussed them—and that meant that the Officers who’d been spread out to observe had all identified the same traits.

It was Mont’s job to collate those—and in fact, he’d even offered a few quotes at the end, which was unlike him, but given the conclusions we leaders were drawing, I wasn’t surprised.

I looked up from the papers. Ronen sat across from me, hands folded on the table, shoulders back, his gaze intent.

“Have you read these?” I asked him quietly.

He shook his head. “I chose to wait. I wanted to see if my thoughts aligned. I’m testing myself.”

I nodded. “Well then, Wing Captain of the very first female Flameborne in history, what is your assessment of Flameborne, Second Rank, Brennan Kearney?”

Ronen’s throat jumped. “She has no lack of courage.”

I nodded.

“She looks for solutions that are unorthodox. Some might say, reckless. And she’s decisive.”

I nodded again.

Ronen blew out a breath and the roil of nerves bubbled in my gut.

I was already sure he’d draw the same conclusions I had, and that Mont had implied in his writing.

And I hated that. But we couldn’t speak about it.

We’d never speak about it. Ronen and I both had to be very careful in this conversation, because sometimes the walls had ears, and the secrets we protected would save lives.

Ronen cleared his throat and dropped his hands to his lap, staring at the tabletop.

Clearly this had unsettled him as well. “She rides a grayscale whose size would indicate she’s equipped for battle, yet the Flameborne lacks bloodthirst. She seems more focused on outwitting enemies, than killing, or beating them down,” he said slowly.

“I agree.”

He nodded slowly. “Sir, I believe Flameborne, Second Rank, Brennan Kearney is most likely suited to Wing of the Fang and should be trained for scouting and ambush.”

My heart stilled in my chest, but I didn’t let it show. “Your conclusions align with both mine and Captain Mont’s,” I replied, watching him carefully. Because there was one more step, but we had to be so careful with our words…

Ronen’s chest expanded and his shoulders tightened. “Sir, she shows significant potential. I believe her training should be to the limits of our capacity.”

And there it was.

Damn.

I hadn’t realized how much hope I’d held that I was wrong, until that moment.

Secrets. She had lived with secrets in her past. Now she’d live with them for her Kingdom.

I rubbed my chin to give myself a moment, scratching at the stubble I hadn’t had time to shave off yet. “Is your assessment made in absence of your close work with her, and her unique challenges?” I asked tightly.

Ronen nodded. “I’d actually be less sure if she was a man.”

I huffed. “I concur.” Neither of us spoke for a moment.

“Have you asked Kgosi?” he asked kindly, like he understood that my stomach was in freefall.

“No, I was waiting until we’d discussed it. Just give me a moment,” I said, hating that my tone sounded so dead. I stood up and walked to the window to face the stables. Kgosi and I could reach each other from this distance, but I didn’t want to have to guard my facial expression.

‘Are you still awake old man, or have you returned to your nest?’

‘You know, though a dragon has never severed a bond before, there are days I wonder if I might be the first.’

I huffed, but the humor died. ‘Ronen and I are discussing Bren’s evaluations. He sees the same thing I do. Mont as well.’

‘The Unspoken?’ Kgosi asked calmly.

‘Yes.’ I swallowed. ‘I hoped I might be wrong. But when I saw how she took that flag—’

‘You weren’t wrong, and you knew it. You were merely reluctant to accept the implications,’ Kgosi said.

And his tone was tight, which surprised me.

He generally wasn’t emotionally invested in the roles or tasks we assigned the men.

But I supposed he’d gotten closer to Bren than he usually would to a Flameborne.

‘I agree,’ he intoned, ripping the last of my hope to shreds and throwing them to the wind. ‘Akhane is still growing, and their giftings as a Pair will expand even more in the coming years. You should move ahead. Be a tool to mold them.’

‘You’re certain?’

There was a beat before he answered. ‘Do you question me, Donavyn?’

‘No.’

‘Then why—’

‘I didn’t want to be right.’

I expected a cutting remark, or a chuckled quip. Not a rush of love and reassurance from my dragon so deep it threatened tears. ‘You’re a good man, Donavyn. And you will do well with this.’

I huffed, but turned back to the table, blinking quickly to ease the sting in my eyes, then faced Ronen and nodded. “Kgosi agrees.”

Ronen blew out a breath and looked like he might ask difficult questions, so I hurried on. “Focus her Trial on testing her limits,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Yes, Sir.”

“But, take care, Ronen. She’ll face enough risk in this, let’s not defeat her before she’s even begun.”

Ronen nodded again. I didn’t move. Couldn’t. My head spun, my heart screaming, every fiber in me fought this conclusion, while I tried desperately to convince my body that I had no say in it.

Ronen rose from his seat and came to stand in front of me, locking eyes. “Sir, she’ll be well taken care of. She isn’t my first,” he said quietly.

My jaw tightened. “I’m aware.” Ronen carried more secrets than any other Squad Leader.

“We’ll help her. You don’t need to worry.”

I nodded, but didn’t answer because if I opened my mouth I’d make it very, very clear to him exactly why that statement deserved to be taken outside and shot.

But that wasn’t appropriate. I’d been elated when Voski was raised to the Fang.

I’d trained Gil myself. There was no appropriate reason for me to be anything but thrilled that we’d found another Rider whose talents potentially fulfilled this unique role.

And particularly her . The doors that might open boggled the mind.

And every single one of them forcing her to walk into the lion’s den of her fears, the still, small voice of wisdom whispered in the back of my head.

And every single one of them taking her away from the Keep. Likely for the majority of her career, the hateful voice of my own fear added.

I swallowed the flutter of panic that wanted to rise in my chest and focused on Ronen again. “If we’re right and this is truly her calling, she will have to face far worse than what we’d throw at her for the sake of the trial.”

Ronen was grim, but he agreed immediately.

“Are you certain?” I pushed, aware that I’d waver if it was my job to make the final call.

“I am,” he said firmly. “I need to see her find her confidence and there’s only one way to do that—to face the things that scare her.”

“Then we’re in agreement. Run with it. Hold nothing back. Make sure she’s challenged in the ways that are hardest for her— which will be different from the men. If she can’t push through under our eyes, she won’t make it when she’s alone.”

Ronen agreed. “You know, Donavyn,” he said warily. “I don’t like it either, but can’t you see the brilliance of the Creator’s plan in this? I mean, her?”

“Yes, of course.” My tone was more dismissive than was right, but something churned, twisting in my chest. I couldn’t find my balance.

As Ronen reluctantly made the note that would decide Bren’s fate on the last piece of paper, then gathered everything he’d brought, I stood over him with my arms folded.

The words poured out of me when he stood, though I hadn’t thought to ask them. “Do you care for her, Ronen?” I asked gruffly.

Ronen frowned. “Of course. I care for all my men. And she’s one of them.”

I looked at him frankly. Ronen took my meaning and arched one brow. “Have I said or done something to give the wrong impression?”

“No. but we all need checks and balances at times. Remember that. It’s never wrong to question, only to disrespect. Part of leadership is being willing to ask—and answer—the hard questions.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Ronen shifted his papers to the other arm. “In that case… do you?”

I went still, frowning. “Do I what?”

“Do you care for her?”

I went very, very still. I’d been too obvious. Too undisciplined. It had to stop. I took my time, staring at him and not letting my gaze stray. I had to, because I was bracing to lie and it had been a very long time since I had lied about anything meaningful.

“It’s undeniable that I have a soft spot for her,” I admitted. “She’s in an untenable position. I admire what she’s doing with it. But that’s all.”

Ronen stared at me and my guts knotted again, but he didn’t push.

“Thank you for seeing me so early,” he said quietly, offering a salute. I chided him about it again, but ushered him out, feeling crushed at the deceit. The man didn’t deserve it.

When he was gone, trotting down the stairs to the lower floors, I returned to the window where I’d stood when I was speaking with Kgosi and looked out over the Keep.

The distant academy buildings gleamed black in the sunlight beyond the stables.

The stables. The launch hollow. The barracks. All of it. It was all mine to lead. Which meant, it was all mine to corrupt.

Without thought, my eyes tripped to the stable, specifically the eastern end where Kgosi was. I thought of her curled up, asleep, in that little room.

Her head snapped back with my name on her lips. Under my palm her skin goosebumped—

“Fuck!”

I shook off the memory of the dream and all it might mean, but kept my eyes on that stable. I made myself conjure what was likely around the corner for Bren, if we’d assessed her correctly.

Then my dragon’s words from the night before crept back into my head.

…what if God gave you to her?

I grunted. Kgosi could be wrong.

He had to be.

Surely the Creator would never ask me to endure that?

‘I heard that.’

‘You were supposed to. I need you to agree with me.’

‘About what?’

‘That you’re wrong. That I’m wrong. That she could never be asked to do this.’

‘Why would you believe—’

‘I’m not ignoring our conversation last night, Keg. I’m trying to accommodate it. But one of these things has to be wrong. Surely God wouldn’t give me a… a…” Fuck, I couldn’t even think the word. I swallowed hard. ‘A mate. A mate I should not have. Then remove her from me? Surely?!’

Kgosi didn’t respond, except to send another rush of warm comfort.

Which was his very dragon way of politely telling me I was full of shit.