Page 2 of Flameborne: Fury (Emberquell Academy #2)

~ brEN ~

Donavyn Arsen, famed General of the Furyknights, and Dragon Battle Commander of Vosgaarde fled my presence like a child caught stealing.

He threw one desperate glance over his shoulder as he rounded the corner out of the doorway that was tall and wide enough for his massive, black Primarch dragon to move through.

But the moment his eyes caught mine, he jerked into the aisle, his boots thudding away on the stone floor.

And I heard his words in rhythm with them.

Ashamed. Dishonor. Don’t know what got into me…

Thud, thud, thud…

My ribs caved in, curling, cracking, puncturing my heart.

He’d kissed me like he’d die without me. Then remembered how broken I was, and was ashamed of himself.

Leaning back on the wall, I clapped a hand to my mouth to cover the sob that broke in my throat as all the fire and joy that had rocked through me when he wanted me suddenly turned to cold, hard shame.

I shouldn’t have told him I’d given myself before. Should never have offered that to him. No honorable man understood—

My father’s words, spoken in anger, echoed as loudly as Donavyn’s boots.

No good man will ever want you.

I was already intimately acquainted with disgrace, but to my surprise it wasn’t the shame that threatened to crack my heart in two. It was grief.

I wanted Donavyn. Powerfully.

I’d admired him. Felt the attraction and shaken it off. But now that he’d touched me, now that I’d seen his eyes burn and heard the gravel in his voice when he was no longer a General but only a man. Now that I’d heard him growl the things he’d do to me, I wanted him. I wanted him.

His strength. His kindness. His humor. His steadiness. The way he’d stared. The way he’d kissed. I thought—

I broke away from the thought, stumbling gratefully towards the door at the back of the stable that opened into the little room intended for a stableboy.

The room he’d generously given me on that very first day, just a few months ago, when no one had ever conceived of a female Chosen by a dragon.

When they’d had nowhere to put me. When Donavyn and Kgosi, his dragon, and the Primarch of the herd, had offered me that room so I’d have privacy.

Right now, I needed the dark embrace of that little space to hide me from any eyes that might grow curious. But the ache in my gut wouldn’t leave me. I’d really thought—

No. It didn’t matter what I’d thought. All those compliments, all that confidence, all the ways he’d urged me to be more in the past few months, it was all a lie. When he’d kissed me, he’d known. And he’d regretted it. I had been stupid—foolish—to believe a man like him could want me.

I paced my little room trying to calm my racing heart, told myself to be grateful that he’d stopped. At least he had that much honor—not giving in and taking me when he didn’t truly want me. I should admire his restraint. There’d been no mistaking his arousal.

But it was cold comfort.

My chest knotted and squeezed.

Ashamed of himself. He said he was ashamed .

God, I wanted to be sick.

Instinctively I reached for Akhane in the bond, and to my relief she’d come back into range.

‘What is it Little Flame?’ she asked, alarmed. ‘What pains you?’

I didn’t have it in me to hide, or lie. So, I opened my mind and told her.

‘Donavyn kissed me. Then regretted it. I’m so embarrassed Akhane. I feel sick.’

I’d never heard the sound that rolled in my head then. ‘I’m nearly there, Bren. Bring your things. I’ll take you to the pools to bathe.’

I hesitated—leaving the stable meant seeing people, and I was so mortified I was sure my skin would blister under their gazes. But after the day I’d had, the thought of sinking into the warm mineral pools and enjoying them with Akhane brought tears of relief to my eyes.

I could put my head down and ignore the stableboys on the way out. And my brothers were still at the tavern.

Nodding to myself that my dragon was right and this was for the best, I grabbed a towel and clean clothes, stuffing them into a satchel I swung across my chest, then darted out to the stable and out the door—only to come to a sliding halt at the sight of Kgosi, the massive, black Primarch, standing halfway down the aisle, and Donavyn at his feet, looking up at him.

Kgosi’s head swung towards me when I appeared and Donavyn turned to follow his gaze.

When our eyes met, Donavyn’s shuttered.

Chest screaming, I ducked my head and plowed past them both, running, pleading with Akhane to come quickly—and ignoring the weary pity in Donavyn’s voice when he called after me.

It was my turn to flee.

~ DONAVYN ~

My heart sank when Kgosi cut off and swung his head to look over my shoulder. I knew what I’d find before I turned.

She’d darted out of the stable and slid to a halt, staring at me.

Our eyes locked, and for a moment I saw the fire in her, felt the heat that sizzled and snapped between us in that gaze. But just as quickly, she tore her gaze from mine, dropped her head, and ran.

“Bren—” I didn’t know what I’d say. Didn’t know what I could say that would help. Just knew I needed to do something.

But she flinched at the sound of my voice, hunched, chin to her shoulder, and pressed on.

I didn’t realize I’d started after her until the words from Kgosi came as an order.

‘Let her go.’

I had to pull up short from a run. ‘But... she’s alone and–’

‘Akhane will take her to the pools. She’ll be safe. This isn’t your time, Donavyn.’

He was right, of course. I couldn’t run after her. After everything she’d been through, hearing me sprint behind her would only frighten her.

One more crime to add to my ever-increasing list.

Kgosi hissed. ‘Self-pity doesn’t suit you, Donavyn.’

‘Thank you, Keg. I wondered,’ I sent back dryly because my jaw was too tight to force the words out loud. ‘I’m worried about her.’

‘Don’t be. Akhane will soothe her.’

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. That, at least, was reassuring. Akhane would calm her. Reassure her. I could talk to her later and—

‘I think you’ve said quite enough,’ Kgosi rumbled, lumbering past me towards the stable, his tail lashing.

I frowned. “What does that mean?”

‘It was poorly done, Donavyn.’

I grimaced as I followed him back to the stable since it was empty.

He was right, of course. But it had been many years since I’d felt the chaotic turmoil of genuine shame prickling in my throat.

I prided myself on earnest, authentic leadership.

I would never be a perfect man, but I devoted myself to living an example to those who followed me.

When I was still young, Kgosi had taught me the value of humility, and a clear conscience.

They far outweighed the thrill and subsequent shame of self-indulgence.

And as a leader, they were the only way to maintain a clear head and heart.

For years, I’d tried to acknowledge my faults and move quickly to reconcile when the blame was mine.

But Kgosi knew that.

I frowned.

I opened my mouth to ask him why he’d stopped me, but he’d heard the thought and rumbled again as he began to nose the straw in his stable.

‘Expressing your need, drawing her to you, then removing your affection? It’s the fumbling of a hatchling, Donavyn. I’ve taught you better, haven’t I?’

I sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have touched her, Keg.

I fully intended to keep those boundaries of honor clear.

You know that. But she makes my soul hum.

I haven’t felt such a draw since I was a youth,” I admitted reluctantly.

Kgosi grunted, but didn’t answer, which was a surprise in itself.

I watched him carefully. “Keg, have you ever wanted a female you shouldn’t have? ”

He walked circles with his snout to the floor, snuffling in his straw and tossing his head to shift it, making a nest for the night. I was surprised. The bedding was new, but it was still early. Usually he didn’t bed down until dark. “Keg?”

‘When I was your age, I ate things that pretty.’

I snorted. “You did not.”

He shot me one, alarming glare, then continued building his nest. Which was when it occurred to me that he hadn’t answered the question.

I smiled, despite myself. “You old lizard, you’re being coy!”

‘I am no such thing.’

“I asked you a direct question and you didn’t answer it!”

‘I still plan to. I’m considering how best to salvage your pride.’

I frowned. “What—”

‘There is no herd female forbidden to me by our customs, Donavyn, unless they are already mated. And I’m not given to lusts for those that don’t belong to me. So, no. I haven’t shared your experience of this turmoil. As a hatchling I did, however, try to fly a lightning storm.’

“What does that have to do with—”

‘I can sympathize with the burning in your balls.’

I threw back my head and laughed. Kgosi coolly went back to tossing and nudging his straw until he was happy with the space he’d made for himself.

Then he turned one more circle, shifting more of the straw before he knelt on his forelegs and lowered himself into the straw with a groan.

Plumes of steam and smoke poured from his nostrils moments later as he relaxed.

“You’re going to bed? Now?”

‘Perhaps, like you, I grow old, Donavyn.’

I snorted. “Nice try. You’ll outlive us all—wait, what do you mean, like me? I’m not that old! Didn’t you just accuse me of acting like a juvenile? You can’t have it both ways.”

‘Forty turns of the sun, and you still bristle like a cat when I taunt you. A man’s age has little bearing on his maturity, Donavyn.

You should know that more than most,’ Kgosi snorted once more, then raised his head and turned it so one, fathomless amber eye regarded me.

He blinked slowly. And through the link I felt him smile.

I frowned. “What are you grinning about?”

‘I’m considering my burden.’

“What burden?”

‘I debate whether the Creator gave me a childish man, or a youthful elder. You humans are a confusing bunch with your strange rules and your stringent roles. Tell me, Donavyn, why do you believe your draw to her breaches your honor?’

“Is this some kind of test?” I huffed.

‘No.’

I frowned harder and switched to speaking in our minds because I didn’t want this overheard. ‘What are you pressing towards?’

‘Answer the question and I’ll tell you.’

I narrowed my eyes at him. ‘It’s wrong of me to encourage that draw because she’s young—too young. Half my age. And I’m her Commanding Officer. She could see my interest as a pressure.’

‘Is it? Do you have nefarious, selfish plans for her?’

‘No!’

‘Then why resist the heart and mind that have ignited your fire?’

I gave him a flat look. ‘It’s unlikely I would ever marry now. But even if I did, it couldn’t be someone who had to take orders from me.’

‘Whyever not?!’

I tried not to roll my eyes. My dragon had the best heart.

But little patience for what he deemed human flaws.

‘I couldn’t marry someone who reports to me.

She might believe she has to give in to me personally in order to be raised in rank—or, on the opposite end, she might believe she could breach rules as a soldier because I wouldn’t enforce them for my wife.

We humans aren’t as wise or self-disciplined as you dragons.

And we can’t don’t have the bond to measure each other’s motives.

So, it’s up to those of us who lead not to use our power against those who follow.

In case they feel they have to please us in personal ways in order to achieve their professional goals. ’

‘Does she have to please you to advance as she should?’

‘Of course not! Why are you asking me these things?’

Kgosi rumbled again and stretched out on his side, with a heavy sigh.

“Did you hurt yourself today or are you ill?” I asked him, distracted from the conversation by my growing concern. He acted like he’d been in battle and was exhausted.

‘Donavyn, one thing you’ll learn when you reach my age and wisdom, is that most often we know what is needed, what is best, and even what’s true. We’re merely reluctant to admit it to ourselves. Sometimes, asking questions is the only way to force a soul to look in the mirror.’

I frowned. ‘So, you think that my interest in her does come from bad motives?’

‘No, but apparently you do.’

‘How did you draw that conclusion?’

‘Because you’ve told me every reason she should not catch your heart, and every reason you’re wrong to draw her close—and yet she is. And you did. You are a man of honor, fighting a losing battle. There are only two possible conclusions.’

I blinked, my heart speeding up in my already aching chest. But he didn’t continue. “So, what are they?”

Kgosi gave one, long-suffering sigh, his massive ribs expanding and contracting, then he lifted his head and met my eye again.

‘Either, you two are drawn together by a power greater than your own. Or your heart is black in ways you’ve not yet recognized.’

I was stunned. Reeling. ‘Kgosi, are you saying—? No. No. The Creator wouldn’t give me a woman that required a breach of my vows. He wouldn’t lead me into the dark.’

Kgosi rumbled and laid back down. ‘But what, my dear Donavyn, if God gave you to her? ’

I was stunned.

But Kgosi wasn’t done. ‘And what if you needed to enter the dark not for your own selfish pleasure but, to save her from it?’