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Hartley

Springs U Freshman Year

“ I think that’s the last of it, Hart!” Violet hollers from behind the trunk of my used Honda Civic.

She crams in the last few items that will fit without causing my car to explode.

With my backpack slung over one shoulder, backward baseball hat, and phone in my hand, I’m ready for college.

But leaving my honorary sister is the hardest part.

Wrapping me up in a hug so tight that my circulation might cut off, Violet says, “I’m so proud of you, but I don’t know how I’ll make it here alone. ”

I twist my arms around her frame, grabbing her head with one hand to keep her close to my chest. “You’re stronger than you think, Vi. Just remember, in three hundred sixty-five days, you’ll be right across the hall from me again.”

Her tears soak a little patch on the front of my shirt as she sniffles quietly, leaning away to wipe the tears from under her eyes.

It kills me to see her hurting, but I’m doing this for the both of us.

Life hasn’t been kind to her or me since we were kids.

Violet had her grandpa, until she didn’t, and I “had” my dead-beat, alcoholic father.

When everyone around us dropped the ball, we’ve always been able to count on each other, and that will never change.

She lifts her head to meet my eyes. “Promise?” she chokes out.

“Pinky promise,” I say, ruffling her hair in a way that always sets her off.

“Ugh, Hart!” She shoves my chest away and rocks her body side-to-side. “You know I hate that.” She stares at her reflection in my car window, frantically flattening all of the loose pieces of her dark brown hair.

“And you love me.” I shoot her my best smile to convince her that I’m not nervous about this move. The truth is, I am, but Violet worries about me more than she’d like to admit. So I put my brave face on until I hit the road.

“You’ll be back for Thanksgiving, right?

I’m cooking the turkey all by myself for us.

” She does a little happy tap with her feet.

Violet’s a year younger than me, so she still has a year left of high school before she joins me at Springs U.

Her aunt signed the emancipation papers the minute they came through, so Violet can live in my house by herself.

“That’s the plan. Don’t have too much fun without me here this year, and if you even think about throwing a party at the house—” Violet cuts me off with deep laughter before I have the chance to finish.

“I know. I know. I know! Don’t forget to invite you twenty-four hours in advance,” she explains while gesturing her hands for me to move on with my nonsense.

“It’s not a true party without Hartley Knox.

” I wave goodbye to her, savoring the last moments we have together before I’m in the full college swing.

Football season will roll around before I know it.

I’m heading to Springs U on a full ride to play football—the golden ticket out of the torture that was my childhood.

I try not to let my mind become consumed with worry about Violet.

“I better get on the road to make it to the apartment before the leasing office closes.”

“Call me when you make it there, please.” She unwraps her arms from me and pushes my shoulder, playfully.

This is the relationship we’ve always had.

She’s my little sister, and I would go to war for her any day of the week.

Being states away will be difficult, but I knock that worry out of my head by focusing on what’s ahead.

I walk over to the driver’s seat as Violet slowly backs away from my car, throwing up a tentative wave.

I crank the engine and roll all four windows down.

As I back out of the driveway, I can’t help my heart from cracking at the sight of Violet on the front porch.

Her eyes look sad and her body language is off as she fiddles with her hands, finally wrapping them tight against her stomach.

Honking the horn three times in a row, I shout, “I love you, Vi!”

She giggles and cups her hands around her mouth. “Love you so much, Hart! Don’t be a stranger!”

With that, I peel off down the street where I spent eighteen long years. I’m finally free from the shackles of the man that most of my home town loves, but I despise.

My childhood wasn’t the worst it could have been, but it certainly wasn’t rainbows and butterflies, either.

We didn’t hurt for money—my dad always held a steady job as a construction site manager.

To the public, he was a hardworking man who let loose every now and then.

To me, he was neglectful in every sense of the word.

He’d arrive home late into the night, the smell of booze permeating off his body.

I didn’t get the Hey, how are you? How was school?

Do you need help with your homework? greeting that most normal kids my age got.

If I was lucky, I would get a small grunt.

If I hit the lottery, he would sit at the kitchen table and scarf down his food silently.

We lived in a middle-class neighborhood in a cookie-cutter house, but I was painfully alone.

I glance down at my phone to take a quick look at the GPS before cranking Kendrick Lamar Radio to the highest volume . I throw my arm out the window, feeling the sweltering summer heat pass by and looking forward to my new life.

After a few gas breaks, my stomach growls, alerting me that it’s time to grab food.

My eyes rake over the interstate signs with fast food options on them and I ultimately settle on a drive thru burger joint.

Because I’m antsy to get back on the road, I try to open the greasy wrapper of the burger while simultaneously squeezing out ketchup and keeping my eyes on the road.

The ketchup squirts on my shirt. Shoot. Running my thumb up the seam, I wipe it off and lick my fingers clean.

It baffles me how I survive on my own sometimes.

After a few more hours on the road, I park at the leasing office where the ticket to my new life is behind those two glass doors. I pop in to grab my key at the front desk.

“Good afternoon, welcome to Coastal Leases. How can I help you?” The woman behind a small desk in the corner of the office waves me over to take a seat.

“I’m here to pick up the keys to my apartment.” Thankfully, I filled out all the other forms online weeks ago, so I can head straight to my new home.

“Of course! I’ll just need your ID.”

I fetch my wallet out of the back pocket of my pants, pulling the ID out of the worn leather pocket. After I hand it to her, she nods with a small smile and digs in a drawer to fish out a labeled set of keys just for me.

“Aha! Here it is.” Holding it in the air, she double checks the name and hands the keys over.

“Thank you for having this ready. I appreciate it.” I flash her my charming smile in hopes that she’ll develop a soft spot for me in case I need anything for the apartment.

Her cheeks blush as she looks down at her desk and fiddles with her blue pen. She looks young enough to be a Springs U student, so being friendly couldn't hurt. Walking out the door, I look back and flash her a wink before I settle in the car.

Fifteen minutes later, the cool air conditioning of my new apartment hits my face.

I couldn’t have picked a better place to live.

It’s fully furnished and big enough for Violet and I to live comfortably when she joins me next year.

The echo of my footsteps rattle through the freshly painted, white walls as I plop down on the comfortable, brown couch.

My mind wanders to the many football games I plan to watch in this spot.

I’m ready to make memories here. I look around at the kitchen area.

A plain wooden table with two chairs and two barstools are tucked under the counter cut out area.

I envision laughing at that table with friends after cooking a meal or ordering fast food after a late night out at the bar. I’m ready to be happy .

Violet. Pulling my phone from the zipper pouch of my athletic shorts, I tap her contact picture.

After a few rings, she answers. “How is it?!” She rustles around on the other side.

If I had to guess, she’s already curled up in that awful purple blanket she loves.

Every time she pulled it out of her bedroom at home, I was forced to pick purple fuzz off my clothes for days and watch her favorite reality TV show of the season.

I can’t lie, those shows have grown on me since she coerced me into watching them years ago.

“It’s awesome. All of the furniture looks brand new, and it’s bigger than I thought.

” Smiling ear-to-ear, I look around, basking in my new home for the foreseeable future.

I made this happen. Since I received a full scholarship to play football here, my courses and fees are covered.

When it came time to find a place to live, I knew the dorms wouldn’t work.

I was sick and tired of being at other people’s mercy.

I wanted a place I could call my own for both of us to live.

I’ve always been her protector, and leaving for college wasn’t going to change that.

We pulled an ungodly amount of all-nighters, applying for every scholarship, grant, and financial aid known to man.

Thankfully, I managed to get the rent expense covered.

Even better, I magically found a two bedroom cheap enough to be covered by my room and board allowance.

Working part-time as a dishwasher back at home along with my father’s monthly ‘I’m sorry for being such a horrible person’ deposits into my account have set up my savings until I can find a job.

“Can I skip senior year?” Violet sighs into the phone.

“Nope, but I’ll hold down the fort until you get here. Everything’s okay at the house?”

“So far so good. Just quiet without you.” Violet’s voice is low and gravely, almost as if she was crying. It’ll take her a few months to get used to living on her own.

“You’ll get used to me being gone in no time. It’ll be so peaceful, you won’t even miss what it used to be like,” I say, downplaying the fact that being apart is hard on both of us. We’re a little codependent, but what can you expect when we’ve only had each other to rely on?

Violet lets out a rogue chuckle before replying, “You know that’ll never happen. I love you. Don’t get into too much trouble this year.”

I glance down, becoming distracted by the stain I earned on my t-shirt on the drive over. “Hey, do you know how I can get a stain out of this shirt? It’s new.”

“Ugh.” She pretends to be annoyed. “You know you’re going to need to find a girlfriend sooner or later for these types of questions.”

“Yeah, right.” I huff. “You know that’s not in the cards.”

“You never know. Someone may come in and sweep you off your feet.” She giggles and no doubt daydreams about the day someone locks me down.

My heart seizes as I place my hand over the worn cotton of my t-shirt, rubbing repeatedly over my chest. “I love you, Vi. Get some rest. Call me if you need me. Anytime. Okay?”

“I know.”

“Even if it’s to tell me you walked around school with toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I want to hear it all.” She huffs, annoyed with my picking. “Goodnight, Hart.”

Putting my phone back into my pocket, I scan around my new home.

I grab my keys off the counter before heading down the stairs and out to the car to unload all of my things.

I hike each box up the cement stairs and into the cool apartment.

I’m exhausted from the ride, and all I need to get through the first night is bedding, shower stuff, and clothes.

I quickly throw the brand new sheets on the bed before taking the quickest, scalding hot shower known to man.

My eyes struggle to stay open, but if I don’t exhaust myself completely, it’ll take hours to fall asleep.

Grabbing my phone from beside me, I mindlessly scroll through Instagram.

A few of my new teammates posted pictures of their gear, some of the guys I played with in high school are repping their new college teams, and Violet posted a picture of her watching reality TV.

I’m reporting to summer workouts next week. It’s surreal that I made it to the collegiate level. I’ll be on the field with some of the best college football players in the nation. All I can think about is how proud Violet’s grandpa would be if he were still here.

“You’re a pain in my side and a headache I didn’t ask for, but I love you, kid.

You deserve this.” His warm words were wrapped with a stone-cold expression.

Grandpa Evans was the father figure I desperately wanted and needed.

When he passed, it was devastating for us both.

I made a promise to him to protect Violet in his absence, and I will make him proud.

Shaking off the memory, I click my phone off for the night, fluff my pillow so that it’s nice and soft, and force myself into sleep. This year is going to change my life.