Page 26

Liza

G roup message: The Girlies

Me: I need girl time. Are either of you up for a walk around campus?

Me: I’m not above bribing you with a milkshake date after.

Violet: I’m in. Ryan’s leaving for the away game in a few! What time?

Emberly: My eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen.

Me: YASSSS. I’ll pick you up in an hour, Vi. Emberly, come in my room you psycho.

Emberly: HA. I’m too lazy. Come to mine!

Violet: Perfect!!

After busting in Emberly’s room and scooping Vi up from her apartment, we park in the farthest lot on campus to get our workout on.

Distraction always helps when I’m spiraling, and there’s no better distraction than my two best friends.

I ask them to skip the earbuds today because we have way too much to talk about on our walk.

I haven’t had a chance to hang out with both of them in a while, and I miss venting about our life problems and figuring them out as a team.

I straighten my spandex shorts, covered with a ruffle pink skirt and make sure my black workout top is adjusted correctly.

Vi is in her usual running shorts and t-shirt.

Emberly opted for leggings and a sports bra.

“So, what called for the impromptu campus walk?” Emberly eyes me with suspicion. We’ve grown to read each other well, and it’s not like me to randomly beg both of them to take a walk. I’d much prefer just the milkshake. “Something on your mind?”

I blow out air and flip my ponytail off my shoulder as we pick up the pace on the empty sidewalk lined with beautiful daisies and freshly mowed grass. “Possibly.”

“Oh, Liza, my head has been so stuck on Ryan lately, I haven’t checked in like I should. I’m so sorry.” She slows down her pace to bite her nails before I reach over to grab her hand in mine.

“No one would ever blame you for throwing all of your energy into that tattoo specimen of a man.”

Violet giggles, and her cheeks flame to a deep red color.

I continue, “I do need to talk to y’all about something, though.”

“Would this have to do with your complicated tutoring arrangement?” Emberly purses her lips and briefly allows a cocky smile to crack through.

Way to be subtle.

“What tutoring arrangement? Oh no. I’ve missed more than I thought!” Violet squeals.

“Promise you won’t be mad.” Keeping my eyes forward, I steady my pace before dropping an info dump on Violet. Emberly knows bits and pieces, but this will be a total shell shock to baby Vi.

“I could never be mad at you, but you’re really making me nervous. Spill!”

“I’ve kind of been tutoring Hartley for a few weeks now in Art History class.”

“You know. . .” she drawls out. “Not seeing the problem here.” Sweet baby angel is so naive.

“Hartley and I have had a, you know… friendship since freshman year, and I didn’t want anything to mess that up.

I couldn’t let anything mess that up,” I continue to explain.

“Tutoring was going well after the initial awkwardness subsided, so I asked if he’d help me with my sketch portfolio project for one of my classes this semester. ”

“He probably ate that opportunity up.” Violet shakes her head and smiles to the ground.

“Why do you say that?” I know Hartley has a thing for the spotlight, but he wouldn’t gain anything from this besides helping me complete an assignment.

“Because he loves you,” she blurts out with absolute certainty while my jaw hits the concrete, stopping me in my tracks.

“I told you!” Emberly points and squeals. She’s crawled out of her shell this semester and I love seeing her confidence in herself grow.

“What did you just say?” I take the opportunity to sip on my ice-cold water, gulping it down to buy more time before I eventually have to respond.

“Isn’t it painfully obvious?”

“Obviously not!” I scream.

Violet stops walking to face me. “Let me break it down for you. Hartley doesn’t do anything long-term because loss scares him.

I’ve noticed him sneaking out and jetting off to ‘study’ over the past few weeks.

” Violet crinkles her nose and jumps as if she won a prize.

“He wouldn’t give me any info on who he was hanging out with, so I took matters into my own hands.

” She laughs and bends over, holding her stomach.

That tiny menace. “And how did you do that?”

“I had Ryan eavesdrop on him in the locker room. Hartley isn’t very good at keeping up a facade or talking low.”

“Wait, that still doesn’t explain how you came to the conclusion that he’s in love with me.” I’m grasping at straws, trying my hardest to debunk Violet’s sleuthing skills.

“Liza, I’ve known him my entire life, and I’ve never seen him in love.

He’s different with you. He stares at his phone and waits for messages.

He drops his plans to meet up with you, and he passes up a night out at Downtown Tap if it meant seeing you.

” She shows off the brightest smile as she shifts from side to side.

“I should have known it was you. You’re tailor-made for him. ”

“I’m not,” I blurt out before thinking.

“Why do you think that?” Emberly hops back into the conversation. “Let’s compare him to your ex for a minute because I know that’s what’s freaking you out.”

I exhale. “There’s a bench up there,” I point a few blocks ahead, “This feels like a sitting conversation.” We speed walk to the roomy metal bench and begin hashing out my past, present, and future.

“Let’s start with Layne,” Emberly leads. “How did he make you feel at the best point in your relationship?”

“He. . .” I pause, thinking this through. “He made me feel important. I was always surrounded by a group of people when I was with him.”

“What else?” Violet chirps in.

“We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Everyone wanted to be us.” I nod.

“Anything else?” Emberly leans her elbows on her knees to meet my eyes.

“Uhhh. Not that I can think of.”

“Hart’s turn!” Violet bursts at the seams with excitement.

I have a feeling she’s already planning our wedding and future baby names in that overworked mind of hers.

“Hartley makes me laugh, even when I don’t want to. He notices little things about me that I didn’t realize.”

“Like what?” both girls ask, sitting forward.

“For the past few tutoring sessions, he brought me my go-to Starbucks order. I’ve never told him what I like or showed up to tutoring before with my drink in hand, he just notices me with it around campus.”

“One point for Hart.” Emberly holds her hand up to count. “What else?”

“He brought me to a wildflower field and said the beauty of it reminded him of me.” Heat blooms to my cheeks, so I rub my wet hands over them to cool off.

“Ugh. I’m sorry, but I’m dying inside,” Violet swoons. “Who knew Hart could be such a lover boy?”

Emberly braces my bouncing knee with her hand. “Keep going.”

“He won’t take no for an answer, despite all the times I’ve told him I’m not interested or that I just want a friendship. He hasn’t given up on me.” Betraying me right there on a campus bench, my eyes swell with moisture. Why am I getting emotional?

Emberly wraps her arms around me. “Layne abandoned you, and that’s not okay. You didn’t deserve that. No one does.” Emberly’s perceptive juju unleashes the floodgates for tears to spill down my dewy face.

Violet joins the hug and squeezes me. “Hartley won’t abandon you, Liza. You’re it for him.”

I nod, at a complete loss for words. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Or he gets bored and wants someone else? I’m nothing special, and I’ve seen the girls he hooks up with. They’re models.”

“You are special,” Emberly says in a stoic tone. “You do everything you can for everyone around you. Let yourself be happy for once.”

She’s right. They’re both right. No matter what the long term outcome is, I owe it to myself to give this a chance. Rubbing the tears off my cheeks, I chuckle like a maniac until I have the right words to express my feelings.

“I guess I need to tell him how I feel.”

They both squeal and pull me into a double hug full of sweat, love, and acceptance. The three of us couldn’t be any more different, but our hearts are built the same.