Page 29

Liza

M y feelings are still under lock and key.

I haven’t technically avoided Hartley since he came back from his road game last weekend, but I’ve also made zero effort to see him.

He’s texted me more than a handful of times asking to hang out, but I’ve come up with a believable excuse every single time.

Strolling into Starbucks on winter break has become my routine.

I welcome the five person deep line in front of me.

It gives me a chance to mindlessly scroll social media and catch up on my missed texts.

Besides my fellow coffee lovers, campus has been a ghost town.

Most college students leave for break and come back well into the new year, but not me.

My mom jet set off to Europe with her boyfriend, and my dad has his head buried so far into work that he probably doesn’t even realize it’s the holidays.

Luckily, my sister begged Dad enough to convince him to buy her a plane ticket to spend the holidays with me.

She’s set to land tonight, and I’m itching to hug her again.

The line continues to scoot up slowly. Grabbing my phone, I check the notifications that have been buzzing in my pocket.

Willow: I’m soooooo excited to spend the week with you!! Can you believe Dad actually went for this?!

Me too, girl.

Hartley: If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re avoiding me.

Hartley: I miss you, Goldie.

My heart accelerates in my chest. I miss him, too, but I’m terrified to see him.

Seeing him flusters me in the best and worst way, causing me to forget all the reasons we shouldn’t date.

Admitting my feelings means opening up my heart again.

Opening up my heart again means giving another man the power to shatter it.

I know I can’t avoid him forever, so I bite the bullet and reply.

Me: Avoiding is too strong of a word.

Hartley: Then what word would you use?

Me: Strategically being in different places at different times.

Hartley: Ahhh so the definition of avoiding

My throat constricts as I type out my next message.

Me: As much as it pains me to say, I miss you too, Hotshot.

Hartley: Now we’re making progress. When can I see you?

Hartley: I’m nothing if not persistent, and I told you I’d fight for this. Even when you get squirrely.

Me: Aren’t you back home for the break?

Hartley: Nah. Vi went to Ryan’s for the holidays, and where I grew up doesn’t feel like home. It’s just me, Christmas lights, and the best spiked eggnog known to man.

Me: That sounds perfect

Hartley: Then what are you waiting for?

Me: My sister flies in tonight to spend the holiday with me. I can’t abandon her.

Hartley: Bring her. I’d love to meet her.

Hartley: Seriously, come over, or I’ll have to come get you.

Me: I’ll see.

My heart wants to leap into his arms, craving his touch, but my head screams to be careful. I’m not lying, I really will think about it. I might even run the idea by Willow and hope she shoots it down.

After nursing my holiday tea all day, I can't help but wish I ordered hot chocolate instead. After cleaning up the dorm a bit, it’s time to pick Willow up from the airport.

An entire week with my little sister away from our parents' influence is exactly what I need to recharge my soul. The airport near Springs U is small in comparison to the Louis Armstrong airport in New Orleans, but it’s perfect for our quaint little beach town.

I arrive early to the near empty airport, so I pick a comfy seat away from everyone and scroll through my camera roll until Willow takes her phone off of airplane mode.

After ten minutes of scrolling, my phone pings.

Willow: I’M HEREEEEEEE

Without wasting another minute, I jog to the escalators and impatiently wait to see Willow face-to-face since I left for my sophomore year of college this summer.

I bounce back and forth until the sight of her warm, auburn hair comes into view.

She waves hysterically and bounces up and down as she descends the moving stairs.

Her lime green suitcase is hard to miss.

I run to the base of the escalator and pull her into my arms when she gets her footing on solid ground.

She shoves her rolling luggage forward and grips me tight.

“Umm, excuse me,” an older man with gray hair and a beard says impatiently. Can’t he see that I’m having a moment with my baby sister?

“Sorry!” Willow jolts out of the hug and moves her body and luggage away from the man’s path.

“We didn’t realize.” The man scoffs and continues on his merry way.

It’s surreal having Willow here. I want to show her that she doesn’t need to worry about me and I’m doing better than ever.

As we make our way into the crisp Florida “winter”, just cool enough for a thin sweater, Willow hits me with the question she’s been itching to ask since she boarded the plane.

“What trouble have you been getting into?”

I chuckle lightly and shake my head back and forth. “Trouble wouldn’t be the right word, but I have gotten myself into a bit of a. . . situation.” I shoot her the smile that seems to work my way out of anything I’m cornered into.

“Do I want to know?” She sighs as she stuffs her luggage in the trunk.

“That’s debatable, but you know I’ll tell you anyway.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Get it out now. I can’t take a week of being your therapist.” She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck, tighter this time. Her muffled voice rings in my ear. “I missed you so much.”

“You too, babe.”

We unlock and hop in the car, me ready to lay it all out on the line for my sister, and Willow bracing herself for the chaotic storm that comes with my life decisions.