Page 11 of Fitzwilliam Darcy An Honourable Man

Rosewood Manor

The Master Bedroom

The minute Georgiana returned from Pemberley she had retreated to their bedroom, flinging herself on the bed and weeping. It had been almost a half-hour before she was composed enough to recount what had happened in a rational manner. There were no secrets between them, and Darcy was aware that anything he told Ana she would relate to her husband, so Evan was not worried about breaching a confidence as he sat in stunned silence while Georgiana described the events of that day.

Having been acquainted with Fitzwilliam Darcy since they were mere lads, he knew him to be an honourable man, albeit proud, reserved, aware of his station and driven by duty to uphold his heritage, but honourable nonetheless. It had been very puzzling when, two years previously, that same man had thrown caution to the wind, leaving Pemberley in his and Georgiana’s hands while he visited his estates in Scotland and Ireland. That impulsiveness, for which Darcy had never really offered an explanation that made sense, had definitely been out of character. In fact, it went against his very nature!

So, to finally learn that the Master of Pemberley had fallen in love with a penniless woman with no connections and that he had offered for her was almost hard to believe. Further, it shook him to the core to hear her recount Darcy’s story of spending the last two years trying desperately to overcome his love for this mystery lady. How had his brother managed to keep this much heartache hidden? He had had no inkling of Darcy’s torment.

There was no doubt now that Darcy had considered marriage to Cecile, not because of her wealth or connections, but because he wanted to purge the woman at Pemberley from his heart. My God, how close he had come to making a tragic mistake.

In all our conversations before he left for Scotland, Darcy never betrayed his feelings, never once sought my opinion. Perhaps I have been too selfish in my own happiness to wonder if he was content.

“And then,” Georgiana’s sob captured his attention, “William told me how devastated he was to find she was married and that her husband was such a blackguard that he left her to die in a fire.”

Once again, she dropped her head into her hands, crying as though her heart would break. “That poor girl! And to think William was deeply in love with her, and I never knew!”

“Do not blame yourself. I had no idea, and I thought we talked about everything.” He knelt in front of her, bringing her hands to his heart and waiting until she looked into his eyes. “Do you think he wants to help her because he was once in love with her, or does he love her still?”

“Oh, he definitely loves her. It is obvious in the way he touches her and how his eyes light up when he speaks of her. It is so difficult because I truly wish Miss Elizabeth to get better, and I know William can help her if anyone can—he is so gentle. But there is so much room for heartache in this situation, if not danger. It will be complicated to be supportive of her recovery without supporting what I know he truly wants—a relationship with her.”

“But it is his choice, Ana.”

She took a ragged breath, standing as big tears rolled down her checks. “I know that, Evan!” she protested, stomping over to stare out the window.

After a few moments, her shoulders slumped, and her voice broke with a sob. “In my heart I know that,” she whispered, “but he is my brother. When he is sad, I am sad, and when he hurts, I hurt. I could not bear for something— someone to hurt him that much again.”

Evan moved to her, and she turned to fall into her husband’s arms. “For so many years we had only each other. That is why I swore that I would never marry, because I could not bear to leave him alone. Can you not see that he is longing for someone to love and to love him? It pains me to see his heartache.”

He ran his hands over her back. “I know, darling, I know. You are very close.”

“And now that he is home ...” She hiccupped. “I dreamed that when he returned, he would find that person to love. I would have a new sister and a house full of nieces and nephews. Mostly, I would have the brother I love back. That dream was so real to me.”

He tipped his head to look into her teary eyes. “You have not lost him, Ana.”

“Not yet, but I fear I shall! The last two years were lost to me, and I know now that she was the reason he left—the reason I lived without him for so long. Will I now be forced to watch him die a little each day because he cannot have her? Even should she recover completely, she belongs to another man.”

“Darcy loves deeply, Ana; it is just the way he is. That will never change, and I am glad, as I admire that about him. I have known him almost my entire life, but it was only when I came back to Rosewood Manor at my father’s death that I began to fully understand the man—when I observed his devotion to you.”

She pulled back to look up at her husband and smiled wanly. “I know. I love that about him too. He is fiercely protective of those he loves.”

“What you did today was terribly foolish and irresponsible, and you may have caused an awful setback for the young woman. I can only imagine that Darcy is heartbroken that the cause of her suffering was his own sister.”

Georgiana practically moaned as she dropped her head to his chest. “I know! It was so stupid of me, and I was so very sorry when I realized what I had done. I asked if I might go to her and apologise right away, but he would not hear of it. William said he will have to judge how much damage I have done before he will let me near her.” She moaned the last few words and began crying again.

Evan sat down, pulled her onto his lap and kissed the top of her head. “There, there. Do not cry, sweetheart. Darcy is a forgiving man, and he loves you very much. He will forgive you. Eventually.”

“Oh, why did he not just rage at me? It would have been easier to accept than the disappointment in his eyes! He was so disheartened that he could not look at me, and I do not blame him. I fear he may never forgive what I did or my lack of trust in him.”

“He will. You just have to give him time.” He kissed her again. “Perhaps there is some way you may help Miss Elizabeth when he does allow you to see her. Since she is withdrawn, you might take your art supplies and entertain her by drawing. I know I enjoy watching a picture come to life at your hands. Or better still, teach her to draw if she seems interested.”

Georgiana brightened. “I would love to do that if Brother and Miss Elizabeth will allow it. Though she may not be the woman that I had dreamed of for William, I will be kind to her, and I will help her to the best of my ability.”

“They will allow you to visit in time, I am sure. Now, there is something else we have to discuss. Have you examined why this debacle occurred in the first place?”

Her eyes widened as she considered his question. “I have not had time to dwell on it.”

“I believe your desire to do something right away was a result of Cecile’s influence. By the way she framed her tale, we were intentionally led to believe that Darcy had installed Miss Elizabeth as his mistress at Pemberley.”

“She did encourage me to confront him without delay and without waiting for you, though that does not excuse my behaviour. I should have stopped to think or,” she smiled sheepishly, “just listened to you.”

“And she emphasised Miss Elizabeth’s problem as though the woman were with child. At least, that was the impression that I got.”

“As did I.” Georgiana rubbed her forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “Nonetheless, we shall not let Cecile have the pleasure of knowing she succeeded in her plot. William wants us to confirm his story that this woman is our distant cousin Elizabeth Lawrence, here to recover from a debilitating illness, and I shall tell her that is what I learned today at Pemberley.”

“It is good then that she was in her room when you returned and did not see your distress, but will she question why Miss Lawrence is staying with him and not us?”

“I will tell her that since I entertain often and he does not, Pemberley will be a more restful place, and besides, she has a companion in Mrs. Drury.”

“I do not believe we shall have a problem getting Cecile to agree to keep Elizabeth’s presence a secret. She does not know that Elizabeth is married already and will think that William could be in danger of a forced marriage if the gossips get wind of her being there.”

Georgiana stiffened. “Where is Cecile? How is she to be trusted? How do we know that she is not eavesdropping as we speak?”

“From now on I shall feel the need to make absolutely sure our conversations are confidential,” Evan grumbled. “And I despise the necessity of that in the privacy of my own home.”

Georgiana sighed. “Perhaps we should suggest that she return to London after your dinner party on Saturday.”

“The party! I had forgotten all about it.” Evan seemed lost in thought. “I wonder if your brother will come after everything that has happened.”

“He just might overlook my failings and come in honour of your birthday. Would you please ask him?”

Evan rolled his eyes. “I will ask, but I will not press him. Is that understood?”

Georgiana kissed his nose. “Yes, dearest.”

“And what will you do with all the eligible young women you have already invited to celebrate my birthday. You realise that they will be swarming around Darcy as if he were honey and they the bees.”

“I can do nothing at this point as the invitations have gone out. The truth is that regardless of his devotion to her, Miss Elizabeth is married, so my brother is still available. What he is doing for her is admirable and I will support him. But that does not change the fact that he may meet a woman who can be his wife and the mother of his children.”

“Ana!”

“I am just stating the obvious, Evan. I will try never again to pressure him, but I will not cease hoping that he finds love. He cannot have that with Miss Elizabeth, regardless of how much he wishes it to be so. I hope he helps her to recover and when she is able, she leaves.”

Evan shook his head, his voice lowering in warning. “Your brother is a grown man and you must accept his decisions. She may leave and she may not. It is not for us to decide.”

Georgiana flinched at the severity in his manner. “I—I was only ...

Pulling her back into an embrace, he hugged her tightly. “I love you, Ana, and it pains me to admonish you, but I am resolute! Let Darcy decide what is right for him.”

“Yes, Fitzwilliam .”

“Do I really sound like him?”

“Only when you force me to realise how wrong I am.”

Pemberley

William’s study

One week later

“Well, it seems, once again, that you are too preoccupied to notice my arrival.”

Richard’s entrance had gone undetected by William until he stood before him. He had entered quietly to find William leaning back in his chair, his feet propped upon the edge of his desk, his gaze firmly fixed out the window and his mind obviously elsewhere. Richard had stood perfectly still for some time until realising that his cousin was not going to notice his presence unless he spoke.

For William’s part, his thoughts had not been on the problems of his estate, but were, as usual, on Elizabeth’s situation. Startled by Richard’s greeting, he swung his feet to the floor and sat up straight, agitated at the interruption.

“Perhaps if you were announced as any other visitor—”

“Visitor?” Richard guffawed, plopping down in the chair directly in front of William’s desk. “Is that all I am, a visitor?”

“You know what I mean, Cousin! Mr. Walker would be happy to announce your presence, should you slow down enough for him to get ahead of you.”

Richard smirked. “You know my penchant for alarming the servants with my impropriety! It is my only entertainment when I visit the wealthy, especially as I have no servants of my own to bother. Besides, I hear you have learned this same trick from me.” He raised his brows and wagged them. “I was told that you make Mr. Jenkins very nervous when you call on Georgiana.”

William tried not to smile, but remembering Georgiana’s butler following him in the same manner, he did in spite of himself. However, just as suddenly as it appeared, it faded. He did not wish to be rude to his cousin, but he had hoped to have no company for a time, praying Elizabeth would return to her previous state of mind—before Georgiana’s visit.

“How is it you are here without any notice?”

“General Winston has decided that I am his emissary so I am sent here and yon without notice. I was in London before I was sent to Derbyshire to consult with the local militia leader regarding a new recruit who once served here. However, the commander is out of town until next week, so I am forced to await his return. I hope it is not an inconvenience for me to stay with you until such time as I return to my unit which is now stationed in York. It should not be more than a week.”

“Of course not, Richard.” William sighed, feeling somewhat guilty for his earlier tone of voice. “You know you are always welcome here. It is only ...”

“Only?”

“Miss Elizabeth has not been ...”

“Oh, come now, Cousin. Surely the young lady has lightened your disposition now that she is in residence.” Richard’s voice softened as a look of sorrow flashed across Darcy’s face.

“Did I say something to upset you? She is well, is she not?”

Richard watched William stand and walk to the windows, locking his hands behind his back. That was never a good sign!

It was several more seconds before he answered. “Everything was going well, I believe, before Mrs. Preston arrived uninvited. And furthermore, she gave Georgiana the impression Miss Elizabeth was my mistress.”

“That busybody! Why was she even at Pemberley? After her threat to you in London—to suggest that she would tell Georgiana that you were a cad!” He tossed the riding crop with which he had been slapping his leg, down on the desk. “What nerve to show her face here!”

William smiled slightly as he looked over his shoulder to find Richard pacing across the rug now. It warmed his heart to see his cousin so concerned for his sake. He returned to take his place behind the desk.

“Calm yourself, Richard. It will serve neither us, nor Miss Elizabeth, if we get angry at this point. I must focus my energy on determining how to help her.”

Richard nodded and sat down again, crossing his legs. The constant twitch of his foot was the only visible sign that he was still irritated. “Pray explain to me what happened.”

It was some time before William was done with the tale of Mrs. Preston’s appearance and quick departure from Pemberley and then Georgiana’s unfortunate call on Elizabeth. When he was finished, both men sat in silence, contemplating the possible effects of the incident on the young woman. Finally, Richard broke the silence.

“You realise that Georgiana was worried sick over your absence for the last two years. I am sure her reaction was partially due to her concern for you.”

William’s hand in the air stopped his cousin’s defence. “I am not angry anymore with Georgiana. I do own to the fact that I am hurt that she did not trust me, and because she did not, she has caused a setback in Miss Elizabeth’s recovery.”

“But, Darce, you must be aware of how it appeared to Georgiana—having a woman living at Pemberley, a married woman, I might add, and Mrs. Preston implying that she was with child.” He whistled, shaking his head. “If the gossips of the ton ever discover that, I daresay even the fact that they may believe she is your cousin and Mrs. Drury her aunt, would not save you.”

William fiddled with the pen in his grasp, twirling it back and forth over his fingers. “We went over this in London, Richard. I know the cost and, in the end, if everything becomes common knowledge I do not care.”

Richard sighed. “No, I suppose not.” He sat up straighter. “What does Georgiana plan to do now?”

“She wants to befriend Eliz—Miss Elizabeth, but I will not allow it until Elizabeth regains the progress she had made before this incident. I fear, though, that Georgiana will never truly accept Elizabeth. My sister is intent on seeing me properly married.”

Richard studied William’s face. “And you cannot marry her.”

William’s gaze met his and held it. “I am acutely aware of that.”

Just at that moment, the door to the study flew open again. “Well, well, what have we here?” Evan Ingram strolled in casually, smiling at his brother and cousin. “You have arrived just in time for my birthday dinner party, Richard!”

Richard’s face lit up, and he smirked at William. “I would love to attend. Unlike some, I am not averse to meeting single young ladies. Please say there will be some in attendance?”

Evan’s eyes sought William as he shook his head in resignation. “Of course, you know my wife! Ana is the consummate matchmaker.” Only Richard laughed as Evan continued. “She has invited most of Derbyshire, and we have friends coming from London. Some will stay with us, and others will stay with their own families in the area. There should be perhaps fifty friends and relations, if not more.”

Noting the scowl on William’s face, Evan hurried with his mission. “I am truly sorry to have invited myself in, Darcy, but your man was not in the foyer.”

William waved his hand in dismissal. “It seems anyone is welcome to walk into Pemberley unannounced today.”

Evan lifted his brows as he cast a glance to Richard, who sheepishly volunteered, “I am afraid I was not expected or announced either.” Richard eyed William as he enquired of Evan, “When is this event? My dour cousin has said nothing.”

“Tomorrow night. I was sent to learn if Darcy would still attend.” His eyes locked with his brother’s. “Ana is very sorry for her actions. She hopes that what transpired will not cause you to abandon my birthday dinner and the dance afterward.”

William lowered his gaze. “You are aware that I dislike associating with a gathering of people I do not know.”

“I understand completely, though I think you have met most of them. All Ana asks is for you to say you will come.”

A look of resignation swept over William’s face and Evan and Richard exchanged worried looks as the seconds passed. Finally, William answered in a voice so low it could barely be heard, “I will come.”

~~~*~~~

In the middle of that night, Richard awoke to the sounds of the rain pounding against the windowpanes and winds howling. Looking about the room, the glow from the dying fire gave off just enough light for him to recognise his favourite room at Pemberley. Suddenly lightning flashed, illuminating it entirely. He relaxed. Perhaps it was only the storm that made him uneasy.

However, being the consummate soldier, he lay quietly, intently listening a while longer. At once he realised that the sound he thought had been the wind howling was actually a woman crying. Quickly, he threw back the covers, slipped from his bed and donned his dressing gown. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he looked out into the dark hall, lit by sparse candles along the walls. Stealthily, he moved in the direction of the noises that were coming from across the hall and several rooms nearer the grand staircase.

As he neared the rooms once occupied by Georgiana, he noticed that one door was not fully closed and at that second heard a moan and someone speaking. He hurried to peer inside. A lone candle illuminated the room enough for him to see his cousin sitting in the window seat, holding Miss Elizabeth. She leaned into him, her cries muffled against his chest. His arms were about her, one hand held the back of her head, while the other stroked her back. William’s deep baritone was easy to make out, even as he whispered words of comfort to her.

“Do not cry, sweetheart. It is only a storm. You are safe. William is here.”

As he soothed her, William rocked her gently back and forth and occasionally kissed the crown of her head. Embarrassed to be watching so tender a scene, Richard slipped quietly away from the door, closing it as he did so.

You are lost, my friend. Totally, hopelessly lost.

~~~*~~~