Page 26 of First Impressions (Passion and Perseverance #1)

Chapter Seventeen

Beth managed to get everything critical done and be out of the office by five.

She texted Char, who said that she would order in Thai food for them to eat when Beth got there.

With rush-hour traffic, it took Beth almost forty-five minutes to get to her friend’s house.

Char’s parent’s house was not that far from where her parents lived; it was a little smaller and the exterior a little less ornate than her parents’, but still a very elegant home.

Beth had been trying for years to get Char to move out; they had even talked about her moving in with Jane and herself just to get her away from her mother’s persistent badgering, but Char could never commit to moving.

She knocked on the door and was greeted by Mrs. Lucas.

“Oh hi, Beth.” Char’s mom gave her a warm hug.

“Char just brought your dinner upstairs.” Turning to the stairwell, she yelled, “Char! Beth is here.” Like Irene, Mrs. Lucas wasn’t a mean or cruel woman on purpose; she just really wanted to see her daughter married and that crusade caused her to be a little, or sometimes a lot, insensitive to Char.

Char appeared on the stairs. “Hey! The food just got here. Let’s eat upstairs, I need you to look at some stuff.” Beth followed her friend up the stairs to her room as she continued, “Also, Jane just texted me asking if you were coming here tonight; I told her yes, but is everything ok?”

She should have known that Jane would check on her. “Yeah, I just forgot to call her last night and then I didn’t come home so she’s worried.”

“Oh. Ok. Anyway, you sit and eat while I go over my outfit options.” Char didn’t have the best eye for color and she was so self-conscious that she thought everything looked bad on her; she was always texting Beth for style advice or to tell her if she looked ok.

She walked over to where her closet was open and grabbed three dresses - all of which still had the tags on them.

The first one she held up was a pale pink spaghetti strap sheath, very summer-y but definitely not her color.

With a mouth full of pad Thai, Beth shook her head “no” as Char draped the dress in front of her.

“Well that was fast. It was the color, wasn’t it?

I knew it. Ugh…” She grumbled as she hung that one back up and picked up option number two.

The second dress was a black silk, high-low gown with cap sleeves.

While the dress was very pretty, Beth hated recommending black to her friend because black blended in with everyone else who thought it customary to wear the color to any formal event.

As Char held it up, Beth wavered her head back and forth and gave her friend the ‘you know what I’m going to say look’; and she did.

“I know it’s black, but I’m not as thin as you and my mom keeps telling me that black is thinning and that I really should start wearing more black things.

” Char wasn’t fat by any means, but unless being forced by her mother, she wasn’t careful with what she ate and rarely exercised, which meant that she was a little bit “fluffy,” as she liked to call it.

“Maybe, but everyone wears black, and you aren’t everyone, and you aren’t fat.” Beth devoured another bite of her dinner, waiting for the last option.

With a sigh of resignation, Char hung the black dress back into her closet and pulled out her last option. She held up a floor-length amethyst sequin gown, with a high halter neck and a cowl back. While it was a dark color, the jewel-toned sequins sparkled and shimmered, brightening up the dress.

“That’s the one. Jewel tones look great on everyone and the purple is very classy. Plus, the body style will look great on you. I want to see it on!” Beth exclaimed.

“I knew you’d like this one, that’s why I saved it for last. I already ate though, and I refuse to try it on while I’m in a food coma from drunken noodles. I’ll put it on in the morning when I’m skinnier.” Beth laughed as her friend hung the winning dress on the front of her closet door.

“Speaking of drunken… we should be having some wine.”

“I know, I just don’t want to be bloated for tomorrow, but one glass should be ok, right?

” Looking to her friend, who vigorously replied in the affirmative, Char laughed and left to go downstairs and grab a bottle.

She returned with a sweet Moscato - one of their favorites, and two glasses in hand.

As she poured the wine, she gave Beth a curious stare.

“So, why are you sleeping at your office now? And why were you so eager to come stay over here tonight? Usually, you just suggest that I come stay with you and Jane.” Beth should have known she could never fool her oldest friend.

While Jane probably wasn’t fooled either, she was too nice to call Beth out on her lies.

“I think I need to at least finish one glass of wine before we go there. How about you start with whatever is going on with your mom?” She countered, hoping that conversation would take them until it was time to go to bed.

“Oh, you know, just the usual guilt-trip about why I’m not married, how I don’t put myself out there; that I’m too shy, too focused on work, blah blah blah.

” Char rolled her eyes. “It’s not like it’s any different than before really, but because I turned thirty last year, she’s just become more persistent and more annoyingly concerned; she was livid about my not having a date to the ball.

At one point, she called your mom to ask her if I stopped by your dad’s firm, if he would introduce me to Mr. Darcy because she had heard that he was single.

Could you imagine?” Char laughed as she recollected her distaste for the man who had so rudely insulted her friend.

If she only knew.

At the mention of his name, her eyes glazed over as her mind, fuzzy from the glass of wine, began to drift off to that night; that night was the only time he had ever made any attempt to explain himself to her.

After she had called him out for insulting her, she remembered the shock that bolted through her system as he grabbed her arm, attempting to stop her from walking away from him; she got goosebumps now just thinking about it.

That was the only time he had tried to address her after doing or saying something inexplicable and what did she do?

She turned and walked away. If she only knew how much such an explanation would mean to her in the future, she would have stayed and listened.

“Hellooo? Earth to Beth?” She was jarred from her thoughts as a pillow hit the side of her head. She looked over at her friend with a confused, ‘what was that for’ expression .

“You just like zoned out for five minutes. I was trying to talk to you, but as soon I mentioned Darcy, your head went up into space. Which, by the way, you missed me say not to worry; your mom told my mom what a jerk he is, which made her give up on that plan.”

“Oh, sorry. Just got a lot on my mind, plus the wine.” Her mumbled excuse sounded feeble even to her own ears.

“Yea, ok. I don’t think so. I know you wanted to talk about me first, but we’ve had this discussion about my mom a million times.

She's not going to change, just like your mom isn’t going to change.

That’s what it comes down to. What we do need to discuss is what the hell is going on with you lately.

You’re distracted, craving wine, sleeping at work, avoiding Jane; none of this is like you and I’m worried. ”

“Ugh, not you too.” At Char’s hurt expression, Beth rubbed her temples and decided she was going to have to talk to someone about this at some point; it might as well be Char.

“I’m sorry. I know, I haven’t been myself lately, but there’s an explanation.

” She moved back on Char’s bed and continued, “You’ll probably want to sit down, and get comfortable. A lot has happened.”

Char sat down on the other side of the bed, facing her friend, as Beth began to recount every encounter she’d had with Darcy since the Gala.

She told her about every kiss, leaving out certain, inconsequential details, continuing to share everything he had said to her, what he had said to Jane, how he had treated her before and during dinner.

She told her about meeting George Wickham and what he had accused Darcy of.

She told her about Mrs. DeBourgh asking her to spy on him, inviting herself to their ball; she told her about the email last night that had caused her meltdown and had her falling asleep at the office.

She admitted how guilty she felt, not just keeping it all from Jane, but avoiding her because she didn’t want to hear about Jane’s happiness and her excuses for Darcy.

When she was finished, she looked up at Char, drinking her wine, eyes wide with disbelief.

“So, yeah. That’s what’s been going on and why I’m a mess.” Beth waited for a response .

“Well I can’t say I was expecting all that.

Here I thought your mom had done something ridiculous too, but Mr. Darcy?

And you?” She shook her head. “My mind is legitimately blown. I mean the man was an ass to you, but initially I think I have to agree with Jane. He acts and sounds like he’s in second grade and doesn’t know how to properly express his feelings. ”

“Seriously?” Beth asked, floored that Char was now the second person to have that perception of his actions.

“Well, I mean it’s definitely very plausible and makes the whole thing a little more reasonable.

I’ll admit, it’s not the best rationale; I’m not sure why he would compliment you to Jane, and then insult you the following night at dinner.

Or why he would have treated Mr. Wickham so disingenuously.

He’s a walking contradiction. Have you considered a mental disorder?

” Beth laughed and admitted that she had suggested the same thing to Jane in all seriousness.

“I mean, he’s really pulling some Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde shit, but I doubt he’d be in the position he’s in if that were really true. ”

“Yeah, that’s the conclusion that I had to come to.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, B. In spite of everything shitty he has done, he is clearly attracted to you. Man, what I wouldn’t give for someone to jump me at work like that.” She refilled both of their wine glasses with a look that said ‘don’t judge me.’

“Yeah, well, if you felt as torn up about it as I do right now, you might reconsider.” She took her refilled glass back from Char.

“It was just unlike anything I’ve ever experienced; something I’m not sure I’ll find again and that’s why it’s so painful to think that it’s been left unfinished.

There’s just this ache from the thought that it could have been so much more; which is a crazy thought when I sit back and think about who I’m talking about, but I can’t help it. ”

“You know you have to tell Jane about this, right? You can’t hide from her or her happiness forever.”

“I know.” Beth’s eyes became downcast as she thought about her sister’s genuine concern for her. “I just need to make it through the weekend on my own. If I tell her now, she’ll say something that will give me some shred of hope, and I just don’t think I can recover from losing that again. ”

“I understand. Are you going to go home tomorrow night or do you want to stay here?”

“Well, the Plaza always gives us a complimentary room for having the event there, so I thought I might as well just stay at the hotel. No one else is going to use the room anyway.”

“Ok, well you are always welcome to stay with me.”

“Thanks…” Beth’s voice trailed off as her inner turmoil began to maneuver back to the forefront of her thoughts.

Seeing dismay start to creep over her friend’s face, Char took control of the conversation. “Well, hopefully, you have a hot dress for tomorrow night. Sounds like it’s time for you to show Mr. Crazy just what he is missing.”

“Haha, I think he already knows.”

“Trust me, if the man likes you, or even just desires you that much, he deserves to suffer. Maybe I can even keep Lydia busy for a few songs so you can dance with George; nothing like your quasi-brother dancing with your woman to make you jealous.” Char gave Beth a mischievous grin.

“Yeah, ok. I’m definitely not his woman. And I don’t think Mr. Darcy is the jealous type.”

“All men are the jealous type; you just wait and see.”

The girls moved onto other subjects while they finished their wine and got ready for bed.

Finally talking to someone about everything that had happened felt like such a relief for Beth.

She felt less tense, less concerned about what was going to happen tomorrow.

She sent Jane a text before going to bed apologizing again and letting her know they would talk tomorrow.

She went to bed knowing at least the Darcy in her dreams wouldn’t ignore her.