Page 19 of First Impressions (Passion and Perseverance #1)
“I just can’t believe you sold out to Bingley over family. I’m concerned where your loyalties really lie, John.”
With the sound of resignation in his voice, Beth took that moment to quietly knock on the door, open it and peer inside.
“Dad? Hello, Mr. Collins. I just wanted to let you know that everyone is here and at the table waiting for you both.” Mr. Collins looked at her with a mixture of anger and betrayal still lurking in his eyes.
“Thank you, Beth. We will follow you in now.”
She turned around and exited the room, followed by a dispirited Mr. Collins and her father.
Entering the ornate, formal dining room - with its Swarovski chandelier and deep mahogany table, Beth saw that her mother had gone all out for tonight’s dinner; the Waterford crystal glasses, the heirloom silver flatware, and her mother’s Wedgwood china had all been precisely arranged.
The catering service had come with 2 waiters who stood in formal attire at either ends of the table ready to refill guests’ glasses with either more water or wine.
Beth noticed all of that detail in the second that it took her gaze to find and lock with Darcy’s.
At their entrance, everyone at the table stood to greet the new arrivals.
Mr. Bennet began by greeting Charles and Mr. Darcy, shaking their hands and apologizing for keeping them waiting.
He subsequently introduced a very bitter Mr. Collins, whose civility was clearly a stretch for him at this point in time.
With a mood rivaling that of Mr. Darcy, he barely greeted Mrs. Bennet and the remainder of her siblings before taking his seat between Mary on his left and Mr. Bennet on his right, at the head of the table.
While those introductions were being made, Beth quickly said hello and gave hugs to her younger sisters and her mom, whose excitement for the evening was palpable.
Keeping her eyes anywhere else, she made her way to the other side of the table where she saw her chair in between Jane and Mrs. Bennet, who occupied the opposing head of the table.
With a quick, knowing glance to Jane, she moved past her to say ‘hello’ to Charles who greeted her warmly with a hug.
As he let go, her heart picked up its beat, knowing that only Mr. Darcy was left.
She moved past Charles and slowly lifted her eyes to his.
There was no spark, no flash of desire perceptible in his stare, no remnant of the hunger, anguish, or anger left in his eyes; the calm mask that resided over his perfectly-formed face unbroken as he looked over her with the cool air of indifference, like nothing had ever happened.
How was she going to survive this dinner?
“Mr. Darcy.” She tried to match his coldness and then, with a mind of its own, her right hand shot out looking for a handshake, hoping some physical contact would bring back the Darcy she had just experienced; the one before the Darcy who just wanted to be left alone.
“ Miss Bennet,” was his unaffected response. He glanced down at her hand and with a slight nod of his head, subsequently turned around to address Mr. Bennet who was about to be seated on his right.
Beth felt all of the air leave her as her body started to burn. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the type of burn she usually experienced around Mr. Darcy, except for that first night; this was the heat of embarrassment intensified by the shock of public rejection.
It wasn’t bad enough that he said he wanted her to leave him alone; now, he couldn’t even be civil to her in public view of her family, of all people.
She stared down at her hand in a trance as it began to move back to her side in slow motion.
Shaken from her reverie by a light touch on her back, she quickly turned around to see Jane coming to her rescue.
Everyone had begun to take their seats and would have left Beth standing dumbstruck if Jane hadn’t proceeded to guide her back to her chair.
“Are you ok?” she whispered as they sat down.
“Of course.” She plastered a smile on her face.
Of course, she was fine; she was always fine. This is why she didn’t bother with men. Getting her hopes up meant allowing distractions, allowing pain into her life and she didn’t have time for that.
That was it. With a resolve, not insubstantially fueled by the shock of both of Darcy’s rejections and her subsequent overwhelming hatred for the man, she put on her own mask and joined cheerfully in Kat and Lydia’s conversation across from her, determined to separate herself from the sad version who just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.
As long as she didn’t look at him, she was completely fine. She made it through the soup and salad with exemplary fortitude; even her mother, who’s internal radar for drama could pick up on tension a mile away had no clue that her daughter was so affected by Mr. Darcy.
The two ends of the table seemed to converse among themselves, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bennet involved in general business-world discussions with begrudging, and borderline insolent, input from Mr. Collins.
Thankfully, he seemed a combination of too impressed and too afraid of Mr. Darcy’s status to say anything completely reprehensible .
Beth, her mother, and two youngest sisters chatted about the Charity Ball coming up, the young girls excited to go shopping for something new to wear.
Jane and Charles had been in their own little world since they sat down, talking and laughing conspiratorially with each other.
Lastly, Mary who sat in the middle listened in on each separate conversation in turn.
When the meal arrived, Mr. Bennet stood to make a toast to Charles and the impending merger.
“Charles, may you take Longbourne to new heights of success as this merger brings our families closer together.”
“Cheers!” said everyone except Mr. Collins.
Charles stood, glass in hand to continue the toast, “Thank you, John. I hope that I’m able to continue the successful and respected tradition that Longbourne has set for the community.
Thank you for welcoming me in like family and making this transition as easy as possible for me.
And a special thank you to Jane, who has brightened up my life in so many ways over these past few weeks and who has graciously agreed to be my date to the Charity Ball next weekend.
” Jane’s face turned pink at Charles’ words as she smiled up at him, clearly in love.
His eyes narrowing into slits, Mr. Collins’ gaze darted quickly back and forth between Jane and Charles as he was just realizing the attraction and relationship that had formed between them.
With a careless impertinence, he muttered, “Well that explains how you were able to lure Bingley into such a lucrative settlement,” scoffing as he chugged back the last of his wine.
Thankfully, it was only Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy who had heard his outrageous insult; Darcy stared for a moment, letting the words sink in before Charles grabbed his attention.
Mr. Bennet gave Bill a cold stare and looked like he was about to ask him to leave that very moment and not bother returning to work; however, he settled for a stern, “We will discuss this later,” and returned to the more light-hearted discussion occurring further down the table.
Beth looked happily at Jane and Charles after his speech, trying to share in their excitement.
She’d never been a jealous person, but watching them made her heart ache for something she thought she’d never want - love.
Stealing a glance or two at Mr. Intolerable showed his starkly handsome face still devoid of emotion; even though he didn’t once look in her direction, she noticed he glanced at Charles and Jane a few times, a strange look of concern mixed with displeasure flickering across his features before it was gone.
Tearing her gaze away before the pain in her chest became too much, she willingly talked with her mother about whether this meant Jane and Charles were officially an item or not - a sign of how far she had fallen.
The conversation became sparser as they proceeded through the main meal and then picked up again on the topic of dates for the ball once the plates were cleared.
“Mom, can Kat and I please be allowed to bring friends? They won’t be dates, I promise,” Lydia pleaded.
As much as Irene Bennet wanted her daughters married, she thought Lydia and Kat a little too young and wild to be dating the older “friends” that they typically wanted to invite to social functions.
“I don’t think so Lydia but you can ask your dad.”
“But mom, please, please, please. It’s not fair that everyone else gets to bring a date except us. I promise we will bring someone acceptable.”
“Yes, mom. Please. You never let us have any fun,” Kat chimed in.
“Ok, fine,” Mrs. Bennet snapped, acquiescing mostly because she felt the girls were making a scene in front of some very important company and wanted to shut them up, “but you must run it by your father and me first before you invite just anyone.”
Beth rolled her eyes as her youngest sisters almost jumped out of their seats in excitement. She wished she could impress on them how overrated men were.
“And how about you, Mr. Darcy, have you decided to bring a guest to the party? You could always take Beth, here. She never brings anyone,” Mrs. Bennet indecorously asserted with a smile on her face, oblivious to the gentleman’s treatment of said daughter thus far .
Beth couldn’t believe what was happening.
She hadn’t thought it possible to feel any more humiliated after Darcy’s blatant disregard for her tonight, but, as always, her mother managed to find a way.
Trying to pass it off lightly with a very forced laugh, Beth felt herself turning beet red.
Unable to look at the man in question, she glanced at Jane who reached over and squeezed her hand underneath the table.