Page 16 of First Impressions (Passion and Perseverance #1)

Chapter Twelve

Jane didn’t say anything after Mr. Darcy left, knowing that Beth would tell her when she was ready.

Luckily, their mom chose that moment to call Jane and check on her, which allowed Beth to retreat to her bedroom to decompress from what had happened.

As she walked by her closet mirror, she caught a glimpse of herself and shuddered.

Yoga pants, a grungy t-shirt, and a messy top knot were not a recipe for seduction.

What could have possibly enticed him about this?

She sat on her bed, replaying everything moment by moment.

She had provoked him, she knew that, but she was only trying to get some sort of emotion out of him; she didn’t mean for him ravish her in her own kitchen with her sister in the room next door.

And then, there was his desire to spank her to punish her.

She had to admit his comment had shocked her, but what had shocked her even more was how turned on that thought made her.

She almost wished he would have followed through with his threat.

She leaned over and grabbed her phone that was charging on her nightstand.

Was it really almost four o’clock? Unlocking her phone, she saw that she had a new email.

Thinking it was just Phil getting back to her, she opened up Mail and realized that Mrs. DeBourgh had emailed her back.

How had she forgotten about that woman? Even though it was probably the last thing she should worry about right now, she couldn’t help herself from opening the message.

Miss Bennet,

Anne and I will expect to receive our invitations to your Charity Ball within the week. I will need to know if he is bringing a date. I look forward to more updates on this in the very near future.

Regards,

Mrs. DeBourgh

This woman was unbelievable, inviting herself and her daughter to their family’s charity event.

How was she going to explain these guests to her father?

The reality was that he probably wouldn’t even know, since she and Jane were the ones who kept track of the responses; but that wasn’t the point.

The presumption of Mrs. DeBourgh was shocking; she must really have her sights set on Mr. Darcy.

“Beth, are you ok?” Jane asked, quietly knocking on her door.

“I’m fine. You can come in.” She put her phone down, preparing for the conversation ahead.

“Hey, are you sure you’re ok? I don’t mean to bother you but mom wants us to come to dinner on Friday.”

“Alright, that’s fine. I’m ok, just a little shaken up. I stayed home today so I wouldn’t have to deal with Darcy and then he showed up and now I’m all flustered again.”

“Do you want to talk about it? It looked like I had interrupted something; I’m sorry if I did. If you don’t want to talk, we can always chat about Charles and his bad handwriting.” Her attempt to make Beth laugh was heartwarming. She really did love her sister.

“Yes. And no. I don’t know. He showed up with the flowers and the note, and I was still so mad about what happened yesterday that I deliberately started to irritate him by opening up the note and threatening to read it before giving it to you; I’m so sorry.

” She gave her sister a pleading look before resting her forehead in her hands, “I didn’t read it though, I just opened it and took the letter out of the envelope.

I don’t know what came over me, but then he kissed me and kept kissing me for a while until we heard you yell from the bathroom; then it was like nothing had happened again - for him, at least. I was in a complete fog and just when I was lucid enough to confront him about, well, everything, you came into the kitchen and I didn't get the chance.” Seeing her sister’s dismay at that statement, she quickly reassured her, “It’s not your fault, Jane.

It’s all his fault - and mine for being pathetically consumed by him. ”

Beth burst into tears. It wasn’t that she was that sad, she just felt so overwhelmed by everything and these feelings that she had never experienced before. Jane quickly grabbed the tissue box off the nightstand and sat by her sister on the bed, handing her a tissue.

“I’m so sorry, B, but I’m sure it will be ok.

Men are confusing and stupid and can never just acknowledge their feelings like a grown-up.

I know you don’t want to believe me, but I’m positive that Mr. Darcy likes you, in spite of how he acts and what he says sometimes.

I don’t know if that’s what you want or need to hear right now and God knows I’m not the most astute person when it comes to interpreting men’s feelings for myself, but it’s obvious to me that you’ve gotten underneath his skin. ”

Beth had stopped crying, her momentary meltdown releasing the pent-up anxiety that had been building from the emotional rollercoaster that Darcy had put her on these past few days. Jane continued to sit and comfort her, letting her positive thoughts lighten the mood.

“Mr. Darcy isn’t like Charles, whose emotions are clearly written all over his face; he is completely inexpressive ninety-nine percent of the time except when you are around.

I can only speculate what emotions you must make him feel, but anyone can see that he feels something because his guard comes down.

Plus, he’s probably one of the most powerful, richest men in the world; anyone could have delivered those flowers to me today; even with a request from Charles, if Mr. Darcy didn’t want to come here, he wouldn’t have.

I think he wanted to see you,” Jane suggested positively.

“I know. It’s just hard to believe because he’s so reticent.

This is why I’ve steered clear of men for so long; less than a week of becoming semi-involved - or whatever this is - and I’m already turning into a complete mess.

” Beth used a tissue to dry her eyes and then began to rub her wrists where Darcy had held them so tightly, wondering if they would bruise.

Forcing herself to move on, she stood up from the bed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall apart on you there. I was just a little overwhelmed, but I think my initial strategy was right, even though it was sabotaged today; I need some space away from him and this whole situation because this emotional wreckage just isn’t me. ”

“It’s ok. I’m here for you whatever you need. I’m sure I can work from home the next few days if you want some company.”

“No, I’ll be ok. I need some time to sort out my feelings for Darcy and once I figure that out, I have a bunch of work stuff to keep my mind busy.”

“Alright, well I don’t think either of us feels like cooking now, so why don’t I order in some Chinese food and then I think Bridget Jones’ Diary is on Netflix; we can watch that tonight if you want.”

“Sounds good. I’m going to shower.” As much as she loved her sister, she needed some time to be alone and process well, everything.

She went into their bathroom and began to undress.

Boy, did she look a sight. Her face looked completely ravaged - first by desire, then by anger, confusion, frustration, and finally by exhaustion.

Her lips were still slightly swollen, her hair in complete disarray.

She smelled him as she pulled her t-shirt over her head, his scent embedded in the fabric from being in such close contact.

As she looked down to take off her pants, she could see her right nipple was still red from when he had pinched it - hard.

Her yoga pants and thong came off in one shot and she didn’t need to look at those to know that they still hadn’t dried from the kitchen incident.

Stepping into the shower that was borderline scalding immediately relaxed her.

Taking in deep breaths of the hot steam, she began to wash her hair.

All this emotion over a guy wasn’t like her at all.

She had goals, plans, and had purposely shut out (for the most part) any relationships with the other sex because she knew it would distract her from her ambitions.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t had relationships in the past, but they were never anything serious and she always ended them before they even really got started; it was easier that way.

She hadn’t been in a relationship in almost two and a half years and she was beginning to regret that decision, realizing how unprepared it made her for what was happening now.

Now, she was overwhelmed with all these emotions that she’d had no experience with for the past two years… or longer .

She knew she was attracted to him, it was pointless to deny it; she also knew that she had never experienced such complete, unbridled desire like this with anyone before.

That was part of what scared her, the intensity of how much she desired him because she lost complete control over herself when it was released.

He also irritated her beyond words. His entire proud and snobby demeanor really grated on her, and then there was how he treated her; she’d never felt more inclined to rub her accomplishments and knowledge in someone’s face.

No other guy had ever treated her like that, which might be why none of them ever lasted; they all admired her for what she accomplished but never gave her the sense that they expected her to do more or that they wanted her to have goals for herself.

Darcy irritated her because he had such high expectations of everyone, including herself, that all she wanted to do was push to exceed them.

Wow.

It was like a light-bulb had just clicked in her mind.

Darcy was the first person she’d ever had a romantic interest in who expected from her what she expected from herself.

Sure, her family and friends were supportive and proud of what she had done and what she wanted to do, but no one expected more from her in a way that pushed her to become a better person.

Beth turned off the shower as a semblance of peace came over her, realizing why she was so drawn to him.

Darcy challenged her and that’s why she instinctively always felt the need to, not just prove herself, but challenge him back.

Beth grabbed her towel and stepped out of the shower, feeling completely relaxed and drained.

After everything that had happened and all that her mind had had to process, she was ready to eat some comfort food and get some sleep.

She left her thoughts of Darcy alone, resigned in knowing that she would most certainly see him later in her dreams.