Page 76 of Fire Must Burn

‘I was, Mrs Spurlock,’ said Sparks. ‘This is my friend and Newnham classmate, Miss Deborah Lawrence.’

‘How do you do, Mrs Spurlock?’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘How do you do,’ replied Mrs Spurlock. ‘Were you also a friend of my daughter?’

‘I was not,’ said Mrs Bainbridge. ‘I knew who she was, of course, but we were not close at the time. I regret not getting to know her better.’

‘You were kind enough to attend the funeral, Miss Sparks,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘One of the few from Newnham, in fact.’

‘I was, Mrs Spurlock,’ said Sparks. ‘Nancy was a good friend, and I miss her to this day.’

‘Lottie mentioned something about a memorial.’

‘Yes,’ said Sparks. ‘I don’t know if you’ve been following events at Cambridge, but a report recommending that Newnham and Girton be given full status as colleges within the university was issued last month. We anticipate that the proposal will beput to a vote by the proctors before the end of the year. We are optimistic that it will pass, aren’t we, Deborah?’

‘Long overdue, in my opinion,’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘So we anticipate a formal celebration next year. Some of us were talking about all the Newnham girls who sadly did not live to see this, and it was suggested that there be some form of memorial established in their honour. I thought of Nancy, of course.’

‘Why?’ asked Mrs Spurlock.

‘Because of her passing, and—’ began Sparks.

‘Why should that wicked girl’s memory be prolonged any further?’ said Mrs Spurlock, her expression darkening.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

‘I never thought of her as wicked,’ said Sparks, recovering.

‘No, I expect you wouldn’t,’ snapped Mrs Spurlock. ‘You were very much the same way.’

‘We were young,’ said Sparks.

‘You were supposedly intelligent, though. Weren’t you? Smart enough to think that the world couldn’t ruin you.’

‘We were smart enough to think that we needed an education to change it,’ said Sparks.

‘A fat lot of good that did you,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘The world is still decaying by the minute. Not that I think for a second that improving it was ever my daughter’s goal.’

‘What were her goals back then?’ asked Mrs Bainbridge.

‘To leave the course of protection and tutelage that I had arranged for her, and to go to a place with no limits and no proper supervision,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘I told her father over and over that university was no place for a girl, but she was the apple of his eye and could do no wrong. She needed to stretch her wings and soar, he said. And, as I predicted, she flew too close to the sun and fell. I should have stopped her from going, but I didn’t have the courage to stand up to him. I failed her. She died, and I have lived with that failure ever since.’

‘Perhaps we could speak to Mr Spurlock if this is too upsetting for you,’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘He is away,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘He has been away for some time. He’s in Guiana, working for the Booker Group.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ said Mrs Bainbridge. ‘You must be lonely here.’

‘I have the Good Book and my faith to sustain me,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘I pray for my daughter’s soul every day, as well as my own.’

‘Is there anything you could tell us for the memorial?’ asked Sparks. ‘I would like to pay some tribute to her. She was my friend, after all.’

‘She died in shame,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘You may engrave that upon your plaque if you wish.’

‘That was never established,’ said Sparks. ‘It may have been an accident. The coroner’s verdict—’

‘The coroner’s verdict was what we and the authorities wished it to be,’ said Mrs Spurlock. ‘But I know the truth. She drowned herself.’