Page 19 of Fire Must Burn

‘My first date,’ repeated Lowle. ‘Who are you going to set me up with?’

‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean,’ said Mrs Bainbridge. ‘The whole point of this exercise is to get you into a relationship with Anthony Danforth.’

‘Yes, precisely,’ said Lowle. ‘But if Miss Sparks succeeds in luring him here, and his first date turns out to be someone who has also just signed up, then his hackles will be raised immediately. I need to come into it with a tale or two of the men before him and why they didn’t work out. So who would you recommend?’

‘I did not consent to this,’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘I was told that you agreed to the operation,’ said Lowle.

‘I did, but not to inflict it upon our unsuspecting clients. That’s completely unfair to them.’

‘That is so very kind of you,’ said Lowle. ‘Look, I promise that whoever it is, he will have an enjoyable time with me. And after our date, I will tell him that he is a wonderful man and will make an excellent husband for some lucky girl, but he’s not quite right for me. He will leave with his sense of self-confidence intact, perhaps even enhanced.’

‘No, I don’t like this,’ said Mrs Bainbridge. ‘We’d be using an innocent—’

‘What about Mr Lonsdale?’ interrupted Sparks.

‘What?’ replied Mrs Bainbridge, turning in her chair to face her partner.

‘Mr Lonsdale,’ said Sparks. ‘He hasn’t made a connection with anyone yet, and it’s been, what, six different dates with him?’

‘Seven,’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘Right, Miss Hart said no to him last week,’ recalled Sparks. ‘So one more failed attempt shouldn’t raise anyone’s eyebrows in his case.’

‘That’s rather mean,’ said Mrs Bainbridge.

‘What’s the matter with him?’ asked Lowle.

‘Well, that would be revealing the comments by our female clients afterwards,’ said Sparks. ‘I don’t think that’s any of your business, honestly. But he would meet your criteria for a one-date relationship.’

‘What’s he like?’ asked Lowle, looking apprehensive for the first time in the conversation. ‘Oldish? Youngish? Good-looking? Not so good-looking?’

‘Let’s see,’ said Sparks. ‘Thirty-four, five foot ten, thin black hair, receding somewhat. Average-looking overall, I’d say, with kind of a reedy voice.’

‘Is it the voice that irritated my predecessors?’ asked Lowle. ‘You have to tell me something so he can see why you’d be setting him up with me, right?’

‘Well, we’re in a desperate situation with him and you’re new blood, aren’t you?’ replied Sparks with an evil gleam in her eyes.

‘Miss Sparks, please,’ cautioned Mrs Bainbridge.

‘Very well. The main problem he has with women is that he likes to fish,’ continued Sparks.

‘Fish? As in – fishing?’

‘Exactly,’ said Sparks. ‘And when I say he likes it, it’s more like he’s completely obsessed.’

‘He’s from Dunbridge out in the Test Valley in Hampshire,’ added Mrs Bainbridge. ‘From what he told us, it’s a one-pub village but the trout and graylings are abundant. He intends to return there once he’s found a bride.’

‘Trout and graylings,’ repeated Lowle. ‘Does he talk about anything else?’

‘Apart from other species of fish and the various methods of catching them, not that we’ve heard,’ said Sparks. ‘Most of our ladies chose not to return for a second date, and the one who did refused to go back for a third.’

‘What happened to her on the second date?’ asked Lowle.

‘He took her out on a boat,’ said Mrs Bainbridge. ‘There were worms and hooks involved. She didn’t take to the experience, although I’m not certain if it was the bait or the seasickness that did it.’

‘Hah!’ said Lowle. ‘Well, I think I could survive one evening of that. And then I’ll move on to the real target.’