Page 48 of Fire and Icing (The Firemen of Waterford TN #1)

Emberleigh

I think if I've learned anything about friendship,

it's to hang in, stay connected,

fight for them, and let them fight for you.

~ Jon Katz

My phone rings for at least the hundredth time since I got home. Syd.

I went back to the shop this morning after eggmageddon. I left those bags of breakfast on the floor of the bakery kitchen and ran out in my state of shock and disbelief. I made it as far as my car, turned the key, and sat there, shaking.

Syd didn’t tell me.

She hid a whole relationship from me.

And not only that, she’s with Evan, a man who rejected me for years—Drew’s brother, of all the people in the eight billion on this planet.

I’ve experienced betrayals in my life, but this might be the deepest.

The tears fell so hard I was gasping for breath.

I hit my breaking point.

Everything swelled and poured out in the driver’s seat of my car.

Dustin. How much he means to me.

Him leaving for Nashville and what that might mean for our future.

The way I love him.

And Syd.

All the years we’ve been friends.

I pictured us on the playground, at sleepovers, softball camp, graduation, dreaming about opening the bakery.

She’s the baker from another mother. Literally closer than a sister.

I waited for my tears to dry, pulling take-out napkins from my dashboard to dab my face. I splashed cold water from my bottle onto my eyes.

And then I texted her one short sentence: Is he gone?

Syd knows me well enough, and she knows what she did.

She texted back one word: Yes.

So, I pulled myself together because the bakery had to open and customers needed to be served.

I texted her: I’m coming in, and I’m not ready to talk, so please don’t try.

She texted back: Okay. Let me know when you’re ready. I have a lot to say.

I nearly texted, You always do, and then I almost texted, You sure didn’t have a lot to say when you were running around with Evan and not telling me .

But I knew that was my hurt talking, so I simply texted: I’ll let you know.

We worked together in silence, only communicating in sound bites about the business, saying things like, “Can you put out more creamer? We’re running low.”

The day dragged on, but we made it through.

For the first time I can ever remember, I left the shop without saying goodbye to my best friend and business partner, the sister of my heart.

I wasn’t trying to punish her. I just couldn’t even look her in the eye.

And the saddest part is I wanted to turn and fall into her arms. To cry together over what she broke between us.

Trust is so easily broken, like a fragile piece of hand-blown glass. And once shattered, it’s so tedious and tricky to rebuild.

I know I’m stingy about who I trust. I’m working on being more vulnerable and open handed.

Dustin is helping me, without even trying.

He’s showing me a person can pursue their own path while remaining connected and present.

It’s a lesson I’ve never had the privilege of learning before, and he’s my unexpected teacher.

But Syd? She’s always been here—so steady and constant—like the Smoky Mountains. A part of my landscape, beautiful and unshifting.

The phone stops ringing. And starts right up again.

Syd’s in relentless mode. I’ve always appreciated that about her. Where I build walls and retreat for safety, she busts through barriers and demands resolution. I won’t avoid her forever. That’s why she’s spamming me. She knows she’ll wear me down.

And a part of me wants her to.

She can date whoever she wants. Of course.

But Evan? Why him? And why keep him a secret?

The hundreds of little lies she told and the truth she withheld—commission and omission. She has been deceiving me. My best friend .

I almost call Dustin. A photo came through a while ago.

Him on a couch in the greenroom. I couldn’t even answer him.

A fresh wave of tears had flooded me. I took a photo of the TV and told him I’d be watching tonight.

I will be. This is the best I can do for him.

But I want to do better. I want to encourage and support him while he follows his dreams. I want to be the person he can count on to always be here when he comes back from his adventures.

And I want to push outside my comfort zone to tag along without losing myself in the process.

He deserves that level of support from me, and I’m going to do my best to give it.

Somewhere during the emotional collapse in my car this morning, I said out loud, “I’m going to Nashville. We’re closing the bakery for a day. People can live without their muffins.”

I had laughed through my tears over the line Cass so easily tossed out.

She had no idea the impact the word muffins would have on me.

The phone rings again. “Okay! Okay!” I relent.

I pick it up and answer. “What?”

Syd is unfazed by my curt greeting. “Can I come over?”

I sigh. Can she come over? We’re going to have to face this eventually.

And I don’t want a cloud over my trip to Nashville tomorrow.

I want to be freed up to be present for Dustin.

He needs to be my sole focus. I’m going to surprise him.

And after this, I’ll be at every gig and concert I’m able—even if I have to hire more part-time help.

“Yes, you can come over.”

“Oh my goodness! Seriously? I can. Okay. Okay. Don’t change your mind. I’m coming. I’m so sorry, Emberleigh. You have no idea. I can’t take you being mad at me. I get it. You have every right. And I knew you’d be upset, but I didn’t realize what it would feel like for you to ice me out.”

“I didn’t ice you out,” I say with an undeniably icy tone to my voice.

Syd’s quiet.

“Not much,” I amend. “A little ice. But can you blame me? Evan, Syd? Really? And you hid him from me. Why?”

I miss her. One day of us being at odds and I feel like the tectonic plates of my life have permanently shifted. I don’t tell her that. Not yet. I’m still reeling from the fact that she was kissing Evan … in our kitchen … and lying to me about seeing him all this time.

“I’ll be right there. Do you have a preferred groveling gift?”

“Groveling gift?”

“Something to show you I’m sorry I was a manhandling oaf?”

“Wrong apology.”

I smile a faint smile remembering all the ways Dustin had to grovel, and he barely did anything wrong.

At the time I felt like he had overstepped.

It was a combination of watching my kitchen go up in flames, the feeling of powerlessness, and the way he lifted me without warning.

But he made up for all his errors and then some.

“I know. I know,” Syd backpedals. “It’s wayyyy too early for jokes.

I’m just nervous. I don’t think you’ve ever been mad at me in all these years.

And you have every right. I’m just … I don’t want to lose our friendship.

I really am sorry. I’ll explain everything when I get there.

Emberleigh, you are the last person on earth I’d ever hurt intentionally or unintentionally. I love you.”

“I know you do.” I do know it. “I love you too. This is big, Syd. I’m really hurt.”

“I know.” She starts crying. “Okay. Stay there.” She sniffles. “Let me in when I knock, okay? Or don’t. I get it. But I’m on my way.” Another soft shuddering inhale.

She’s trying to cover it, but I can hear that she’s crying while she talks. Her voice is wobbly with remorse. That’s something.

We hang up and I sit on the edge of my sofa, thinking over the years I’ve known Sydney.

We met in elementary school and we’ve been inseparable ever since. Once Syd loved baking as much as I did, we concocted a plan. The idea for this bakery of ours was hatched back in junior high. When I finally pulled enough money together to invest in the business, we took the leap.

I know marriage is the greatest commitment you can make to another person in this lifetime.

But in my heart, the kind of partnership Syd and I have has a depth that’s just shy of marriage.

She’s the sister I never had. We own our dream business together.

We see one another nearly every single day.

And we spend more hours together than most married couples who separate each morning to go off to work and then reunite in their exhausted states at the end of every long day.

Her knock comes only a few minutes later. I stand and open the door.

“Were you parked down the street?”

“I can not confirm or deny that fact. But … yes.”

“Syd.”

“Emberleigh.” She starts crying and wipes at her tears. “I’m so so sorry.”

“I know.”

I step back and she walks past me into the living room.

I already forgive her. I can’t help it. The good in our lives. Our shared history. The way she’s always been there for me through so many ups and downs. Dating Evan and hiding it is big. But not bigger than all that.

“Have a seat,” I say.

She sits on one end of the couch. I sit on the other.

“Where should I start?” she asks rhetorically.

“First, and this is not an excuse, I want you to know I wanted to tell you. There were moments. I should have told you. But between the contest and you falling for Dustin, it never felt like the right time. I didn’t want to ruin the magic you were finally getting to experience.

And then Dustin’s news hit, and I panicked.

I was literally going to tell you that night.

But I couldn’t. Can you imagine? Hey, Emberleigh.

I know you’re reeling because Dustin might leave Waterford to pursue his dreams, but also, I’m dating Evan. ”

I shake my head. She’s not wrong. But also, she is.

“Then ever since the night he told you, you’ve been processing what Dustin pursuing music means for you. So, I held back.”

“And flat-out lied to me.” I cross my arms across my chest.

I may have already forgiven her, but I’m not making this easy. She shouldn’t have lied.