Page 36 of Fire and Icing (The Firemen of Waterford TN #1)

Emberleigh

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

~ George Addair

Dustin and I ride in silence for a while. The combination of the long day, the excitement of the contest, and the weight of my thoughts and feelings about him finally takes its toll and I fall asleep the rest of the drive, waking in a disoriented haze when we pull up next to Gran’s house.

“We’re home,” Dustin says.

It should feel odd to hear him call my gran’s house “home,” and to think we both live in the same place. I stretch and hop out of the truck. I want to talk to him, but I need to sort my thoughts, make a plan, gather my wits … or a combination of all of the above.

“Thank you, again,” I say as we walk side-by-side to the back door.

Dustin holds it open and I walk past him.

“I’m exhausted,” I confess. “That nap didn’t really do much.”

“I guess I’ll see you in the morning or tomorrow evening,” he says.

“Sounds good.”

“Goodnight, Emberleigh.” He stands at the threshold to the basement, a sweet expression on his face.

“Goodnight, Dustin.” I turn and nearly bolt through the kitchen.

Okay, I walk, but inside I’m bolting. I climb the stairs and at the top, I shut the door to my bedroom. I strip my clothes and throw them in the hamper. Then I pull my pajamas on. My phone is out of my purse and in my hand in an instant. I fall back onto my bed.

Syd’s voice feels like a warm blanket after a day in the snow. “Hey! Congratulations!”

“For? Oh! Yeah. Right. The contest! Thanks! Thanks so much! We won!”

“I know! I’ve been calling you to say congrats. It kept going to voicemail.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry. I think my phone is still on silent. I should have called you. I fell asleep in Dustin’s truck on the drive home.”

“I bet. What a day! You must be wiped.”

“I’m pretty tired.”

“I’ll let you go, then.”

“No. No. I need you … to talk. Can you?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

I stand up and start pacing. “Syd, Dustin’s right here in this house.

I’m coming unglued. And all I can think about is how he held me when we danced at the town festival.

Today he said so much. He said he’s not going anywhere.

And you saw him, he sang that song right to me.

He’s hinting at wanting more. I think he’s hinting, anyway. I don’t know what to do!”

“What do you want?” Her voice is calm, steady. She knows me well enough to know any false move will send me running in the wrong direction.

“I don’t know. I think I want what I can’t have.”

“No, girl. You’re so afraid you can’t have what you want, you won’t even let yourself own your own dreams.”

A man’s cough comes through the phone.

“Did you hear that?” I ask.

“Hear what?” Syd answers.

“A man coughing.”

“No. I mean, maybe. Could have been my neighbor. He’s so loud.”

“Your … neighbor? Syd, you live over the bakery. Since when do you have a neighbor?”

“Right, well. Must have been static. Anyway, back to you and Dustin.”

“There’s not an actual me and Dustin, officially.”

“Okay. But hear me out,” she says. “If you didn’t end up with a truckload of fear as your parting gift when Drew left, what would you want with Dustin?”

Syd doesn’t say anything else. I stare out my bedroom window into the dark night sky. She’s right, of course. I’ve been steeped in fear. Too afraid to hope. Too afraid to let myself take a risk.

“Everything,” I admit in a near-whisper. “I’d want everything.”

Syd squeals so loudly, I’m afraid Dustin will hear her from all the way down in the basement.

“I knew it! Then go get it, girl. Allow yourself a second chance. Let him shoot his shot. We don’t get to choose who we fall for.

It comes out of left field, and it’s the person we least expect and maybe even the one who will cause the most waves in our life.

But when it comes, it comes. And you don’t want to miss the ride. ”

“You’re making way too much sense for a single woman.”

Syd’s quiet for a beat. “Well, I know what I know. And I know this: you like Dustin. And you deserve another go at love.”

“Love is a pretty big word. Can we use something else?”

“Sure. Sure. Call it what you like, just go get it and stop holding yourself back.”

“Okay.” I square my shoulders and stare at the door. “Yes.”

My body hums with the awareness that Dustin is only two staircases below me right now. I feel possessed with an urge to tell him he’s going to get his chance.

“I’ve gotta go,” I tell Syd.

“Darn straight you do. And you can thank me later.”

“Thank you,” I say.

I hang up without even saying goodbye. Then I wrap my robe around me and tiptoe down Gran’s stairs.

When I get to the door leading to the basement, I pause.

My heart is beating out of my chest right up through my throat.

I’m acting on instinct for once and I don’t have a script or a plan or a safety net.

My hand raises on its own volition and I knock on the basement door.

Nothing. He doesn’t shout up to me. There’s no sound of footsteps on the stairs.

I take a deep breath and knock again.

This is crazy.

I can tell him about my change of heart in the morning.

I won’t sleep, of course. There’s too much adrenaline pumping through my veins right now. Adrenaline and hope—it’s a heady cocktail.

Nothing but silence comes from the other side of the basement door, so I turn and start to head back through the kitchen. It’s okay. I can tell him tomorrow .

The door creaks behind me and I pivot. Dustin is standing there in a pair of plaid cotton pajama bottoms and a white tank top.

Oh, mercy. Those arms have lifted me out of my house, whipped cupcake batter while under studio lighting, pulled out my chair at the bakery … but I’ve never seen them uncovered. They’re massive and sculpted and …

“I should … go.”

“Did you need something?” Dustin’s hair is slightly rumpled and his voice is a step deeper than usual.

He must have fallen asleep already.

“Did I wake you?”

“I was just dozing off. What’s up, Emberleigh?”

“Nothing. I’ll just …” I hook a thumb toward the front of the house.

“Nope. You’re not going anywhere.” He steps up into the kitchen and walks toward me.

I freeze like a deer, caught in the sight of a hunter, wanting to dart off into the woods, but too afraid my own movement will trigger his attack.

“Dustin,” I plead.

“You obviously wanted something or you wouldn’t be down here knocking on my door.

I won’t sleep if you don’t tell me whatever it is you came to say.

I’m kind of like Curious George. You know that monkey?

He got into all sorts of trouble because he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

So, please, put me out of my misery and ask or say whatever got you out of bed and brought you to my doorway in the middle of the night. ”

“I …”

He’s so close, towering over me. The warmth is radiating off his body. His eyes are soft and drowsy, but focused on me.

I clear my throat. Come on, Emberleigh. You can do this . “I … well … you see … My answer is yes.”

A slow smile spreads across Dustin’s mouth. “Yes to what?”

“You know what.”

“I might. But I’m one who needs things spelled out for me. I don’t recall asking you a question. So I’ll need you to make it clear what you’re saying to me, Em.”

Em . He never shortened my name before, and I like it.

His mouth breaks into a full smile.

He knows.

I know he knows.

He’s pushing me, but not out of spite or arrogance. He knows I need to give him permission. He’s walking me up to the place I need to go. Holding my hand until I let go and leap.

Syd’s voice rings through my head.

It’s not ideal to have a third wheel in the mix, but she’s nudging me forward.

“I … well … you said you’d sign up for more if I’d let you.” I look up at him, holding his gaze as I finish my thought. “I’m going to let you. It’s a yes.”

Dustin’s smile grows wider, if that’s even possible.

Then he steps toward me so only an inch or two separates us.

“So, I can do things like this?” he asks, brushing a hair out of my face and gently tucking it behind my ear.

“Mm hmm.” I swallow hard.

“And I can engage in unnecessary touching?” he asks with a mischievous glint to his eyes.

“Mm hmm.”

He tucks his hand along the small of my back and tugs me closer.

“And I could kiss you. If I wanted to?”

“If you wanted to.”

“I do.” He says it so softly, I melt a little.

Dustin is incredibly strong, and not just physically.

He’s a presence. Despite being playful and boyish, he’s all man.

Rugged, powerful, a true hero. He literally saves lives for a living.

Where I’ve lived my life carefully and inside the lines, he’s continually barging over them like an overgrown puppy.

I’ve been consumed by fear. He doesn’t even know what the word means.

And right now, he’s restraining himself and channeling all his intensity into an incredibly tender and careful approach.

I’m so up in my head, I nearly forget the palm splayed over my back until he tugs me just a little.

He brings his pointer finger up and taps my temple. “Turn this off for a minute.”

“I don’t know if I know how,” I admit.

“I’ll help you,” he says.

His hand lifts and he tips my jaw upward. And then his lips are on mine, not in a consuming way, not with any sort of pressure or demand. He’s brushing his lips over mine and my whole body tingles in response.

I lift my arms from my sides and wrap them around him. He interprets my movement as the invitation it is and his mouth meets mine again. This time, he’s less constrained. His free hand moves from my chin to the back of my neck.

Something snaps in me—it’s the last tether to my fear.

My hesitation is out the window. All that matters in the whole world is this man and our first real kiss.

I run my fingers through his hair and he moans low in his throat.

I smile into our kiss and he nips my lip with his teeth.

He kisses that spot on my lips and I lean into him, letting him know I’m all in.

I’m not holding back anymore. Not one molecule in my body is faking anything with this amazing man.

He pulls back from our kiss first, running his hand down my hair and gazing into my eyes, a sated smile on his full lips.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“For?” I smile up at him.

“Trusting me with your heart.”

I lean in and he holds me close. There aren’t words for what it feels like to be held by Dustin Reed. It’s like finding the safest place on earth and then realizing it’s yours for the having.

“Thank you,” I murmur into his chest.

“For what?” he asks.

“For being patient with me while I came to my senses.”

He pulls back just far enough so that he can still keep his arms around me, but we’re looking into one another’s eyes. “I want to take you on a date.”

“We’ve been …” I start to say we’ve been on a date, but then I realize we really haven’t.

“We’ve done this all backwards,” he says, holding my gaze. “Can I take you out? For real?”