Page 5

Erin

I’m lying next to Ryan, the room silent as he runs his fingers softly up and down my back.

I’m still trying to process what has just happened and how to respond.

I’m not used to someone doing something for me just because.

Ryan’s kindness far exceeds anything I could ever imagine and I find myself falling in love with him.

My chest clenches, a sudden tightening of anxiety as I think about what that means for both of us.

He has no idea what my life was like before I came to Rockport.

In all honesty, he knows nothing about me, because my life is a well-guarded secret.

I came to Rockport to hide, to get away from a life that would have likely consumed me the way it did my mother.

But there are still moments that I fear for my safety even though it’s been almost a decade since I’ve had any contact with my father.

The phone calls are enough to bring it all back.

I had needed to leave; needed to disappear in the hopes of separating myself from the people my family became involved with.

I push the thoughts from my mind, because I won’t let something from my past ruin this moment.

I’m also not certain it’s something I want to share with Ryan, not now, and possibly not ever.

Ryan’s job is stressful enough and the last thing I want him to worry about is my drama-filled past.

I’m not the only one who seems to like the escape of a small town I think, noticing the peaceful look on Ryan’s face.

This is as close as I’ve come to a perfect moment in my life and I press closer to Ryan, feeling the warmth of his body.

It’s been years since I’ve let someone get this close and I know it’s because I’m completely falling for him.

What I never bargained for, what I didn’t see coming at all, was his kindness and his ability to actually care about me. Underneath all that rough, harsh exterior is a man who knows how to take care of a woman, and not just any woman.

Me.

Someone who deserves none of it, especially after the way I treated him yesterday. I can’t believe he’s still here, let alone the fact that he just made four-dozen cupcakes for me, gave me multiple orgasms and put me to bed. Only to wake up to me flailing around like an idiot, confused and shocked into silence.

I know I need to do better than just a simple thank you, so I let my guard down just a little bit.

“Ryan, seriously,”

I say, once again stumbling over my words. Lying on top of him in the bed, I shift so I’m straddling his hips, my hands resting on his chest.

“This is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Seriously.”

I feel my face flush at my honesty and I look away from him. Ryan’s fingers brush my cheek bringing me back to him. He laughs, his face lighting up and his eyes twinkling as he sits up so his face is even with mine.

“Red, I think this is the most inarticulate you’ve been since I met you. What happened to my smart-mouthed little minx?”

“Some amazing guy with a hot ass body and the ability to bake like a French pastry chef has made me fall for him. Hard,”

I respond, whispering the last part with the hope that maybe he misses my vulnerability completely.

He tucks my hair behind my ears and leans even closer, his warm breath caressing the sensitive skin below my ear as he whispers.

“This is for my minx and the sweet, sensitive girl that’s here with me right now. I’m falling hard for her, too. All of her.”

All the air escapes from my lungs and my heart stops beating. If he thought I was speechless before, my mind is blown now. My body finally catches up as my heart starts racing inside my chest.

Ryan can see something in me change and sensing my panic, he cups my face in his hands. Stroking his thumbs down my cheeks, he kisses me softly on the lips, then gliding his lips to my cheek and then to my ear.

“Babe, settle down,”

he murmurs into my ear, his voice like warm bath water, calm and soothing.

“Let’s just see what happens.”

His tone is casual and he doesn’t seem at all put off by my response to him.

What did I expect to happen? The chemistry between us is off the charts and I’d be kidding myself if I said the time we spent apart isn’t just fucking brutal. I miss him like crazy when he’s gone. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, so to have him respond back with the fact that he’s falling for me too, shouldn’t come as such a shock.

I guess it’s not so much that I’m surprised he’s feeling this way, it’s more about what his admission is doing to all the old feelings I’ve kept bottled up inside. Pushing all of it away because I’m just not ready to confront that part of my life, I nod in response to his words before I lean in and kiss him.

“I owe you way more than a thank you,”

I say, as I slide my body off of his until I’m lying with my head cradled against Ryan’s arm, our bodies fitting perfectly together. We sit in silence for a few minutes, my fingers absentmindedly stroking up and down his chest. It’s peaceful and for the first time since we met, I find the courage to ask about his life, to let a small part of me care.

“How did you know how to make all those cupcakes?”

I ask him and he chuckles a little. It’s not something most guys would know how to do, let alone most guys I would get involved with.

Ryan shifts so he’s looking at me, putting a small bit of distance between us as we lie side by side on the bed. He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear and gives me the cheekiest grin before he answers me.

“What if I told you I paid someone else to make them so I could impress you?”

he says, but the smirk on his face gives him away and I swat him on the chest with my hand.

“You’re a liar,”

I quip back, and this time he laughs, his voice hoarse with sleep still, but something about it is incredibly sexy.

“I am,”

he retorts back and this time it’s me that laughs.

“So seriously, the cupcakes?”

I ask, my elbow now propped up and my head resting on my hand, a questioning look on my face.

“My mom,”

he says, casually like everyone’s mom teaches them how to bake in their spare time.

“She had me in the kitchen with her for as long as I can remember. I have three sisters and being the only boy was never an excuse to not help out.”

He shrugs his shoulders again like it’s nothing.

“That’s really cool. I think I’d like your mom,”

I say and then immediately regret my words. Why the hell would I say that? It implies that I want to meet his family or that I think this is a full-on relationship.

I roll away from him, mortified by my comment, but Ryan senses my unease and quickly pulls me back toward him.

“Erin,”

he murmurs.

“You would like my mom and she’s going to love you.”

My stomach feels like it has just flipped over and I swear to god he loves to shock me. My heart is racing in my chest, the sound filling my ears, and I hope like hell that he doesn’t notice my face flush embarrassingly.

“I love that I can make you blush, Red,”

Ryan whispers, his mouth next to my ear, as his warm breath against my neck causes goose bumps to spread across my skin.

It’s hard to rattle me; it’s even more difficult to make me fall silent, but holy shit if Ryan Summers isn’t a professional at knowing how to turn my life upside down.

“Do you want to know a secret?”

he asks and all I can do is nod my head in response, afraid I’ll say something stupid and give myself away even more.

“I love to cook. Like, I fucking love it.”

I laugh out loud and not because of what he’s said but because he couldn’t be any more fucking perfect.

“I’m a terrible cook,”

I admit and now it’s him who is laughing.

“What? That’s not possible. You were supposed to bake three dozen cupcakes for Kelsey, which I want to add, I made four dozen.”

He winks at me, a confident look on his face.

He’s such an overachieving cheeky shit, and again I playfully swat at him before explaining myself.

“I can bake, and I bake pretty damn well,”

I say, tooting my own horn a bit; if he can do it, so can I.

“But I can’t cook to save my life. I’d starve if it wasn’t for carry out and frozen pizza.”

“I find that hard to believe. If you can bake, then you can cook.”

I shake my head in response and Ryan rolls his eyes muttering something about me being full of shit and him needing to give me cooking lessons.

The room falls silent again and I run my fingers through his hair wondering if life could get any better than this. My shit day yesterday turned into the perfect night with the perfect man, only to start off again with the perfect morning. I don’t have any idea how I got this lucky.

“Now about that thank you I’m owed…”

Ryan jokes, breaking the silence, a look on his face that says he’s ready to collect now. I laugh out loud and give his ass a little smack before pushing him away from me.

“Another time,”

I respond back, climbing out of bed quickly, his eyes trailing over my half-naked body.

“We’ve gotta help Kelsey get ready for Beck’s party. You don’t want all those amazing cupcakes to go to waste now, do you?”

“Ugh…”

Ryan exhales hard running his hand through his hair.

“Put some clothes on or I’ll be eating cupcakes off that fine ass body of yours instead. I don’t give a shit about that party.”

Laughing at him, I wink before heading to the bathroom. I hear Ryan scrambling out of the bed and I yell.

“Don’t you dare come in here! I’m showering alone or we both know we’ll never get to the party.”

“Erin!”

he screams, and I hear him fall back onto the bed letting out a loud groan.

A few hours, many swats of a hand, and a few grumbles about not being allowed to straighten my hair in my underwear later, we are on our way to Beck’s birthday party.

When we walk in Kelsey is freaking out about us being late, not that we are actually late seeing as the party doesn’t start for another three hours, but she’s still about to lose her shit.

Ryan has the cupcakes stacked in his arms three boxes high as I guide him over to the bar to set them down. Kelsey immediately opens the top box and gasps out loud.

“Erin! Oh my fucking god, these look amazing!”

She throws her arms around my neck in an overly excited, but undeserved hug.

“Don’t thank me,”

I say, eyeing Ryan from where’s he’s plunked his ass on a bar stool next to Beck.

“No way!”

Kelsey shouts, shoving me slightly before she runs over to Ryan and nearly knocks him over with an even bigger hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“No problem, beautiful girl,”

Ryan says before adding.

“How else am I going to get you to leave this asshole and marry me?”

Ryan looks over at me and winks, making me smile like a damn fool.

“Oh, I don’t think this had anything to do with me,”

Kelsey says, looking at me before tossing a thumb in the direction of the stockroom.

I shake my head at her, but her persistent little ass glares at me, and then she storms over, grabs me by the wrist and drags me back there.

“What the hell is going on between you two?”

she demands.

I stand there trying to figure out how to answer her question, seeing as I’m not exactly sure myself. Kelsey begins to tap her foot and I roll my eyes, but that doesn’t seem to stop her from prodding for more information.

“Seriously, are you going to stand there and deny that there isn’t something going on?”

“No,”

I say, giving her just a little as I try to sort out what I should say, but in that instant I just blurt it out.

“I like him. A lot.”

“Clearly.”

I don’t know what comes over me but I suddenly turn into a teenage girl.

“Oh my god, Kelsey. I’m losing my mind with this boy. He’s so hot and the sex is amazing, like legit the best I’ve ever had, and he makes me laugh and he makes me so mad that I want to strangle him, but then I want to fuck him.”

I suck in a deep breath and continue my rant while Kelsey stands there wide-eyed and grinning.

“He’s maddening and sexy and challenging and fuck me.”

She laughs before pulling me into a hug.

“I think you’re falling for him,”

she says, and I’ll I can say is, “Totes.”

Kelsey stops short of the door and her face falls quickly.

“I hate to bring this up, but have you said anything to Ryan about your dad and that situation?”

She raises her eyebrows not needing to add anymore since we both know what she means by ‘that situation’.

I shake my head, and suck my bottom lip into my mouth. Kelsey is one of the only people who know what I ran from and how serious it became. She took me in when I had nowhere else to go, and she enlisted Finn’s help when I was scared and unsure how far things would go.

“I know it’s been a while, Erin, but the whole thing is still really scary. You changed your entire life basically, and the fact that you’ve changed your number again says it’s not working as well as we all like to believe.”

“I know, I know,”

I say, placating her but also trying to convince myself it’s over, that I have nothing to fear. I’m fully aware that it isn’t over. I’ve been getting semi-regular phone calls from unknown numbers. I’ve had moments where I swear I’m being followed. The fact that I’ve had to change my phone number again is proof that it isn’t.

“I don’t really want to involve Ryan if this thing between us isn’t serious.”

Kelsey laughs out loud and shakes her head at me.

“I’m pretty sure we just established that this thing you’ve got going on is serious.”

I’m making excuses and I know it, but it’s easier for me to ignore it, to act like it doesn’t exist rather than deal with it. Out of sight, out of mind. I didn’t ask for any of this, and being born into a family with my father’s connections makes me tied to it for life.

Smiling at her, I roll my eyes.

“You’re right. I need to talk to him about it, but today’s not the day. It’s Beck’s party and we’re going to get drunk,”

I say, pushing the whole thing out of my mind.

Kelsey laughs again, taking my hand she pulls me out of the storeroom so we can finish setting up for the party.

The guests start to arrive and I’m finally able to get back to Ryan who has been chatting at the bar with Beck and Pop. When I nestle up to the side of him, he slips his arm around my waist and pulls me into the side of his body.

Ryan presses a few simple kisses to the top of my head before saying.

“I don’t think I told you, but you look beautiful tonight.”

He runs his hand up and down my back before stopping and patting me on the butt.

“Thank you,”

I murmur back as I press up on my toes and kiss his mouth.