Page 93 of Fighting With Light

It’s impossible.

“No one has ever bought me flowers before,” I rasp.

Liam looks at me and sits down on the bed next to me. “I’m glad I could be the first,” he says. But his eyes say,and I wish I could be the last.“I have to admit, though, that’s pretty hard for me to believe. What man wouldn’t want to buy you flowers?” he asks with that charming grin.

“That’s a great question,” I say, smiling through the heavy weight of loving someone who can’t be yours.What have I done?

He grips my chin and lifts my eyes to him.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re usually beelining for your coffee.”

I lift a shoulder and lean into his hand.

“Did I scramble your brain last night?” he asks with a triumphant look in his eye.

I giggle and roll my eyes. “You wish, Tarzan.”

Liam leans forward and gently, infuriatingly, presses his lips to mine.

“The competition is in about three hours. I’m going to eat and get ready,” he says. Lifting my chin, I kiss him one more time.

“I’ll get dressed now,” I mutter. He stares into my eyes a moment longer, then releases his hold on me and goes back to his computer. He seems calm and ready for his surf today. I’m hoping for his sake it’s a good day. The more rescheduling that happened in Portugal, the more agitated he would get. I’m sure it messes with your head, almost like he’s messing with mine.

Dropping the sheet, I head to the bathroom to pull myself together.

“You should really give a man a warning, princess,” Liam says as I turn around to close the door. His eyes trail up and down my body, and all I can do is wink at him before closing the door.

I get the shower super hot, stand beneath the spray, and cry. I pin my lips together, holding the sobs. I know one sound, and he will come in here wondering what’s wrong. And I would have no choice but to sayeverything,everything iswrong because this isn’t fair and the moment we agreed to allow ourselves to be hurt by one another was the worst decision of my life. This pain is nothing like I could have predicted. My heart is splitting in two and I simply have to take it.

It doesn’t matter, anyway. I was promised to a man I don’t even know. It’s part of the reason I agreed with Liam. I knew we could never be. But…what if wecould?

Another cry fills my throat and I try to swallow it down and breathe through the pain. I wash my hair, shave, and then turn the water to ice cold to shake myself out of it. I think if I told him about the marriage agreement between my father and another family, he would help me get out of it. Going as far as killing the man I’m promised to. But I can’t put Liam in that position.

Liam has his own family to protect, which is why this all started. I do, too. I have my mother to think about. My brothers can handle themselves, but that doesn’t mean what I’m doing won’t help them, too.

Flipping the water off, I grab a towel, feeling myself go numb to my reality and robotically brush my hair and grab a robe to go find a bikini to put on. I’m not even in the mood to find something scantily clad to mess with Liam. Seeing his fiery eyes when he takes me in just hurts too much.

I open the door and find Liam sitting at the table, shoveling eggs and a giant pupusa into his mouth. The pupusa is a cross between a tortilla and naan. They’re bready, but neutral, and you can eat them with anything.

“Sorry I started without you,” he mumbles around the food in his mouth.

The corner of my mouth tips up and I hate him for it because it makes it that much worse.No, you don’t hate him at all. You’re in love with the idiot, or maybe I’m the idiot.Instead of grabbing my swimsuit, I sit across from him and grab some coffee still wrapped in a towel. He hands me a pupusa and scoops some eggs onto my plate. I take a drink of my coffee and can’t help myself as I smile at him. He takes another bite and then realizes I’m staring at him.

“What?” he asks, mouth full.

I shake my head. “Nothing.”

I’m careful not to disturb or distract him. I would assume I’m put in the background of his mind, but on our way to the beach in Portugal, he held my hand. He made sureIwas okay.

Which tells me one thing. I sit in the forefront of his mind like he does mine, and that can only mean this hurts him just as much. I glance at the computer and remember what we’re doing here together.

This is not a simple fling. We have a purpose, bringing down our fathers, and for a moment, I did forget. It’s easy to lose sight of everything else when it comes to Liam.

I’m aware it’s not consideredhealthyto lose yourself to someone and forget everything else. But love has that kind of power and it’s not something you can fight. If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t know if I have the strength to do it, anyway.

After I get dressed, I wait for Liam to tell us it’s time to go. He’s outside hooking up his board to the motorcycle. He checks his bag and then looks up through the glass. I take that as my cue and meet him outside.

“Ready?” he asks.