Page 76 of Fighting With Light

“I want to keep looking,” I tell him.

“In the mountains?” he asks. I dip my chin. “Okay, I’ll get logged back into the satellite. You can look while I search through flight manifests out of Medellín.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I mutter.

“This is a funny way of telling me you’re enjoying this date,” he says, grinning.

I can’t help the snort that comes out of my mouth and reach for his hand.

“What is a good date without a little recon and hacking?” I say.

He laughs and squeezes my hand. “I don’t have the slightest clue. Most of my dates consist of no actual date at all,” he says.

My smile drops for a second, realizing what he’s referencing, and he seems to catch onto that, but that’s not what got me. I don’t care about the other women before me. For now I just let myself believe I am theonlywoman now and forever. Sometimes we have to let ourselves have that little piece of happiness, even if it’s made up because the future doesn’t hold any.

“Aelia, I—”

“No, no, it’s not what you think. I just…I’m surprised you never really did dates.”

He shrugs and wipes his mouth before dropping his cloth napkin on the table. “Not like this,” he says, gesturing between us. Now,thatmakes me smile. The corners of his eyes squint and I love that he hasn’t done this with anyone else. The selfish part of me doesn’t want him to try with another woman in the future, either. Just me. Only me. I realize that’s insane, but it’s the truth, and that truth is heavier than any of the others I have to carry.

Liam gets me set up with the satellite, then pulls his tablet out and pulls up another screen. We work for hours, but Liam isn’t finding anything, and I’m finding camps or more trees, which makes me think they are very good at hiding or they aren’t actually out there.

I move square by square over the image of dense mountain forest, hoping to see a smoke stack or maybe a dirt road, but nothing. Eventually, my eyes close and then I feel arms around me. Arms I’ve never felt safer in, carrying me to bed.

29

Liam

I went to thebathroom and brushed my teeth. When I came back, I found Aelia fell asleep with her chin resting on her hand and decided we both had enough. It was time for bed. Imighthave found a lead on a flight manifest. It’s a long shot, but it’s the only detail that stuck out to me.

Laying Aelia on her side of the bed, I go around to mine and flip off the light as she wiggles across the mattress, taking up most of it. She tucks her head in the curve of my neck and I slide an arm around her ribs, pulling her into my front. She sighs and I watch her drift back into dreamland.

“Goodnight, princess,” I mutter, rubbing my thumb over her spine. The only answer I get is a soft snore.

Yeah…I’m in trouble.

***

The next morning I wake up with my soft alarm and find Aelia’s eyes already open and looking at me.

“Yoga time?” she asks with a yawn. I groan and roll myself out of bed. I don’t know when this became part of my process for prepping for a competition, but it helps me focus because my mind has a tendency to run a thousand miles a minute and I need to make it calm down. I need to focus on the surf in front of me or the climb I’m about to scale. Yoga also helps with strengthening the small muscles I need to surf or climb well. It’s a win-win.

But with all the peace and focus that yoga provides to me, I certainly don’t have it now as Aelia bends down and touches her toes in a tiny sports bra and purple shorts.

I shake my head and focus on leaning forward and stepping each foot back into a downward dog. She silently follows my lead with periodic promptings. We do our sun salutation and then I wrap things up with a tree pose. I hear movement to my side and peek an eye open to see Aelia with her arms out trying to keep her balance. I smile to myself and close my eye before she catches me.

She curses under her breath, and then I look again as she slowly presses the ball of her foot into the mat and spreads her toes for balance. She carefully drags her other leg up above her knee with her arms still out, holding for balance, and then she brings them into the prayer pose. Her leg wiggles a little, then her arms fly out to steady herself, and I move to catch her.

“You were watching me the whole time, weren’t you?” she grumbles.

I poke her stomach. “Tighten this and hold your shoulders up as if you have puppet strings attached to you.” I put my hand on her butt and squeeze. “Squeeze this while you keep your posture and then keep this leg tucked in, you can move your knee here or here,” I tell her, guiding her knee in front of her or to the side. “Whatever is more comfortable.”

“Is this cop-a-feel yoga?” she grumbles. I smack her butt again and she squawks, almost falling over. I laugh, holding her up and waiting for her to center her balance again before I let go.

Going back to my tree pose, my mind feels like it can breathe as I focus on the waves, inhaling the ocean air, in and out, in and out. Everything goes blank, and it’s one of the best feelings in the world—aside from being with Aelia.

“Are we done yet?” she grumbles. “I’m hungry and dripping with sweat because it’s hot and I’m probably getting dehydrated, and—”