Page 6

K atherine didn’t know how long she stood in the kitchen, her hand still on her cheek where Tyler had touched her. How could this be? One minute she felt like she would die from a panic attack . . . and now she didn’t. Had Doc spiked her coffee? Of course he hadn’t, though she couldn’t begin to understand the sudden change in her behavior. She couldn’t focus on this yet. It was crazy.

Before she could work herself into a panic attack, she went to her office and sat down in her desk chair. She booted up her computer. She needed to check on the girls and see what they were up to.

Sam and Sophie lay curled up in their usual spots. The busy afternoon running outside with Doc and the horses had worn them out. They both slept soundly, an occasional soft woof coming from Sam. He must be having a doggy dream.

When Katherine pulled up the Friendlink page, she saw Blondebookbabe and HotandCool were chatting.

Bigfan216: Hey! What’s up?

Blondebookbabe: Shootin’ the crap, Darby.

There went the handles again. For now, she’d ignore using their first names.

Bigfan216: Cool.

HotandCool: Karrie hasn’t been on all afternoon.

Bigfan216: Is she still sick?

Blondebookbabe: Who cares?

HotandCool: Me! She seems cool.

Bigfan216: I like her too.

Blondebookbabe: I don’t like that old fart, Walter. Looked at his profile. A nurse. What a creep!!! Maybe he feels up his patients??? LOL

HotandCool: Gag! We should search hospitals, find him, and get him fired!

Bigfan216: No, that’s just wrong!!! He needs $$$ for books!

Katherine could not allow that to happen. While she agreed Walter wasn’t the nicest fan , it would be cruel to jeopardize his job. A change of topic was what they needed.

Bigfan216: I got invited to homecoming today!

Making dinner tomorrow night for Tyler Newlon was much bigger than homecoming, though these girls would never know that.

Blondebookbabe: Lucky! Is he hot?

HotandCool: An ATW date?

Katherine knew “ATW” meant “all the way.”

Bigfan216: No! This is our first date!

HotandCool: So?

Bigfan216: Not my style.

Blondebookbabe: It’s def mine! LOL

HotandCool: We should meet @ ThanksG break!

That would be a disaster for Katherine but fun for them.

Bigfan216: No $$$ : )

klcLUV/007: Hi!

Bigfan216: Feeling better?

klcLUV/007: Kinda.

Blondebookbabe: Ever heard of ibuprofen???

HotandCool: I ripped off pain meds from Mom last time I had cramps! They are awesome!!!!! Got a buzz, big time.

Bigfan216: Don’t say that. Who knows who’s watching? Pain pills aren’t cool.

HotandCool: What do u call cool? Weed?

Taking a deep breath, Katherine knew she had to get the girls under control. She switched to her moderator handle.

TIC927: Folks, let’s cut out the drug talk. I’ll have to report this if you continue. Remember, this is a fan page. Use your handles!

She switched back to Darby’s handle.

Bigfan216: I told you!

klcLUV/007: Not good! Maybe we should just IM instead. As a group?

Blondebookbabe: No way. The moderator wins if we do.

HotandCool: For sure.

Bigfan216: Right!

The email account Katherine had created for Darby pinged. Minimizing Friendlink, she opened the email and read:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] klcLUV/007 isn’t always me! I am Karrie, the real Karrie. Please help me!

She quickly wrote back:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] I don’t understand. Is this a joke? Not funny. Darby

Katherine pulled the Friendlink page back up. Karrie was still in the chat.

Bigfan216: Karrie, what the hell is going on????

klcLUV/007: What???

Bigfan216: The email????

HotandCool: WTF???

Blondebookbabe: I second WTF???

Bigfan216: Your email???? You said you need help????

HotandCool: What kind of help?

Bigfan216: This isn’t funny. Is it your dad?

Karrie logged off. Damn. Was Karrie playing games with them? With her? If so, she wasn’t the least bit amused. Obviously, she had misjudged Karrie. Again, you could be whomever you wanted online. She herself was doing it now. Though her reasons for doing it were justifiable; she had to maintain her privacy, for obvious reasons.

HotandCool: Told you she was weird!

Blondebookbabe: She could’ve lost her connection, duh!!!

Bigfan216: Probably! The Internet sucks sometimes. brB!

Katherine didn’t think of that. That could be true. She’d send her another email.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Karrie, If you truly need help, why don’t you call 911? Darby

Then she returned to the forum and wrote:

Bigfan216: I gotta get to work. TTYL

Blondebookbabe: Have fun!

HotandCool: Later.

If Katherine were a gambling woman, she’d bet Karrie was an attention seeker. Possibly she thought Darby was gullible, since she’d been friendly to her. Katherine planned to spend more time watching the fan page and the email she’d set up. She would do what she could with the limited information she had if she sensed the young girl was in danger.

Focusing her attention back on Tyler Newlon, she hoped this wasn’t just a case of being attracted to the first man her age she’d been around since Adam. It wasn’t her style, but maybe she’d been out of the dating game for so long she no longer had a style.

Prepping tomorrow night’s dinner was at the top of her list. She had dozens of cookbooks in her kitchen. She stood and stretched, and then Sam and Sophie followed her to the kitchen. “I bet you two want a treat?” she asked, laughing at how fast their tails wagged when she said “treat.” They were so smart. She couldn’t imagine life without them.

“Sit,” she told them, handing them each a bully stick. “Good kids.” If someone were to overhear her conversations with the dogs she thought of as her “kids,” they’d think she was even more off her rocker.

She thumbed through a couple of cookbooks. Not knowing if Tyler was a meat-and-potatoes guy, she opted for something in between, deciding a simple roasted chicken would suffice. Returning to her office, she went to the Apple Blossom Gourmet Market’s website and ordered what she would need for dinner. She’d make an apple pie for dessert. Katherine had gone overboard last week when she ordered apples, as there were none better to her than a North Carolina apple.

As soon as she finished her order, she opened her Darby email account to see if Karrie had responded. There was nothing, which made her even more suspicious of the girl. If Karrie had the ability to go online and send an email, couldn’t she just as easily email her local police department? It made no sense to her. Feeling foolish, Katherine felt she shouldn’t have responded so quickly to Karrie’s emails and comments. From now on, she would be more careful in screening future fans who wanted to be a part of her community.

The dogs started barking, letting her know they wanted to go out. She’d closed the doors earlier, not wanting to leave them open until she discovered what had caused them to go berserk. The fact that there were potentially bears outside was another reason to keep the doors closed. She’d never thought too much about it, which she now realized was sheer stupidity on her part.

Opening the doors, she said, “Go on.” She watched them race out of sight. “The horses,” she said to herself, closing the door. That must be where the dogs were headed. As long as the horses were stabled safely, Katherine didn’t see anything wrong with Sam and Sophie hanging out at the stables. She wished she knew their exact location; she should’ve asked Doc Baker to snap a photo. Not that it would matter, given her inability to take a casual walk to go find the stables, regardless of whether she had a picture. They could be miles away, for all she knew. But she had heard Doc shouting when they let the horses out of the trailer, so they couldn’t be that far from the house.

With that thought in mind, she returned to her desk, her view of the mountains as stunning as always. As it was nearing the end of September, the dogwoods were starting to turn their deep shade of red. In a few weeks, the countless varieties of maple, hickory, and oak trees would set the mountain ablaze with bright colors, as though Mother Nature were opening a box of crayons, mixing reds, oranges, browns, reds, and burgundies. Katherine knew the beauty kept her sane, and she looked forward to the autumnal changes. Yet each year, she tried to combat the lingering thought that those colors also signaled the passing of time, another year gone by. How long could she continue to live this way? A solitary life with no hope of change.

“Bull,” she said, slamming her hand on her desk. There was all the hope in the world. All she had to do was make it happen. After years of researching panic attacks, she knew they wouldn’t kill her. All was well and good when she wasn’t in the midst of one. She still held the power to live a normal life. All she had to do was decide to start. And she would. Tomorrow after dinner, she would accept Tyler’s offer to help her overcome the colossal fear that controlled her life.

She heard the dogs barking. Her grocery order must’ve arrived. Rather than have them leave the bags outside the door, she would step out and bring the bags in herself. Her heart pounded in her chest as she headed to the door; her throat felt like it was closing. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, to focus on the technique she’d learned and practiced multiple times, she touched the doorknob and gasped for air. She felt as though a vice were cutting off her air supply. She reached the kitchen and found a small brown paper bag she kept in a drawer. Breathing into it to prevent herself from hyperventilating, she sat down on a barstool for a few minutes, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Katherine heard the delivery person leave. If she didn’t bring her groceries inside, they would spoil. Without hesitating, she walked over to the door, closed her eyes, and yanked the door open, stooping for the bags and then dragging them inside. Potatoes, lettuce, and tomatoes spilled out of the bags and onto the floor. She left them there until she felt calm enough to put them away.

A few minutes passed before she could stand once more and pick up the food. Her hands shook as she dumped the produce into a clean dish, filled it with tap water, and left it in the sink to soak. She put the chicken inside the refrigerator, along with the eggs that, by some miracle, were still in the carton, none cracked.

Maybe she’d jumped the gun by accepting Tyler’s invitation to dinner. What if she had a panic attack in front of him? She would die of humiliation, even knowing he’d probably had dozens of patients whack out in front of him. Katherine didn’t want to be one of them. Not sure what to do, she washed the tomatoes, scrubbed the potatoes, and put them in the produce drawer. She washed the lettuce, laying each leaf on a paper towel and carefully patting it dry. She put the lettuce into a plastic bag and then in the veggie drawer when she finished. The task was mundane; it occupied her and kept her focused.

Sam’s loud bark reminded her she’d closed the door on the dogs. “Hang on,” she called out, knowing their barking would stop when they heard her voice. Without thinking, she turned the doorknob, swinging it aside so they could enter. Since she was puttering in the kitchen, she’d leave it open. Wild animals be damned.

Normally she would begin work on her next novel at this time of day, but not today. She didn’t feel the urge to dive into the lives of the fictional girls she created. Instead, she would make the apple pie crust for tomorrow’s dessert. Even if she backed out of the dinner, she could still eat the pie. The thought made her smile. “Okay, Katherine, you can do this.” She spoke to herself, though Sophie acknowledged her with a loud woof .

“A family has to stick together.” Katherine reached down and fluffed both dogs between their ears.

Realizing it was close to time for the dogs’ evening meal, Katherine decided to tend to them first. She took out duck livers, free-range chicken legs, a cup of their kibble, and two eggs from the refrigerator. She kept their food separate from hers in special containers. They’d been on this raw diet since she had them, and Doc approved, so she didn’t see any reason to stop. They were healthy, and their multicolored coats shined. She always added omega oil to the food in the morning, knowing this was especially good for them. “Okay, sit,” she instructed, holding out both large bowls. “Good kiddos,” she said, placing their bowls before them.

She washed up, then started making the pie crust, which was simple—a bit of flour and salt with shortening. Katherine sometimes used unsalted butter instead. She’d taught herself to bake during her many years alone and was quite good at it. When the pastry crumbled, after rolling it out, she made two discs, covered them in plastic wrap, and put them in the refrigerator for later. Whether she went through with making dinner for Tyler or not, she would have a damn good apple pie.

She cleaned her mess, then returned to her office. Still concerned about Karrie, she checked her email to see if she’d answered her.

Logging on, she saw she had two emails from Karrie.

To: [email protected] From: klc#[email protected] I know who you are. Selfish bitch.

Stunned, she read the second email.

To: [email protected] From: klc#[email protected]

Please be careful, Darby! He says he knows your family. He’s changed my email address, I’m not sure why.

TTYL Karrie

Neither email made sense. She checked the time. They’d been sent hours apart. Only one bore Karrie’s signature, if you could even call spelling out one’s name on the bottom of an email a signature, though she always added TTYL. Suspicious, Katherine read through them again and clicked on the blue arrow to expand the details. There was nothing other than their email addresses and the timestamps.

Katherine concluded that someone on her fan page knew she was K.C. Winston. That had to be why she received the sinister-sounding emails. It wasn’t a huge problem. All she had to do was deny it, writing, “I wish,” or something equally juvenile.

She clicked out of the email, logging onto her Friendlink fan page. The usual members were online. She scanned the page for a reference to her being someone else, but there was nothing. But she did see that Karrie was online.

Bigfan216: Hi, Karrie. Any new warnings???

klcLUV/007: What are you talking about???

Bigfan216: Puh—leeeze!

klcLUV/007: I don’t know what you want. Why are you saying these things to me?

HotandCool: What’s with you two? Having a lovers spat??? LOL

SKRfan4evr: Y’all are gay?

klcLUV/007: No way!

Blondebookbabe: I think you’re lying!!!

Bigfan216: We aren’t gay! Do you ever think about something besides sex???

HotandCool: You’ve hit a nerve, SKRfan4evr!!!!

Bigfan216: No nerve hit, just pissed.

klcLUV/007: I did not do what you accused me of! Call me. 281-555-8702!!! Please!

Bigfan216: I don’t have a cell.

SKRfan4evr: Right. Everybody has a freaking cell phone!

Katherine didn’t dare call her on her own cell, but what if she had one of those disposable phones? She knew the Apple Blossom Market sold them, because she’d seen them on their website. Unsure why a so-called gourmet market sold disposable phones, she decided she’d order a couple and hoped it wasn’t too late to have them delivered that evening. She could only imagine the gossip this would add to Blowing Rock’s community webpage. Quickly, before she changed her mind, she minimized Friendlink, pulled up her account at the market, and placed an order for two phones. She added laundry detergent, Advil, and tampons. Might as well give them something to talk about, so she added a bottle of cheap wine and a box of chocolates. A few seconds later, her order was confirmed, with delivery in ninety minutes. When she had a safe cell number to share, she would send Karrie an email with her number to call. In the meantime, she posted:

Bigfan216: I’ll see if my foster dad will let me use his. I’ll call if he does. Later.

Logging off before the girls could get nastier, she had to admit she was even more curious about Karrie and the emails she claimed she’d sent and those she hadn’t. It could be that she was nothing more than a drama queen. Or some bored person who had nothing better to do. Numerous scenarios came to mind, none of which would explain the cry for help or who knew that Darby was, in fact, K.C. Winston.

Katherine returned to the fan page, using her moderator handle so no one would bother her. Checking Karrie’s profile again, Katherine noticed she’d added her last name and the same cell phone number she’d given her earlier. Had Karrie wanted Darby to have this information? It wasn’t required. Honestly, Katherine thought giving out too much information was a bad idea. She read the profile carefully. Karrie Collins. Lived in Dallas, Texas, with her father, though that wasn’t on the updated profile. Had Karrie’s mother passed away? Katherine had lots of questions that she didn’t have answers for. She’d have to be careful about speaking if she decided to call her. Katherine still had a Southern accent, which didn’t exactly fit her story of living in Utah. She could tell Karrie she’d lived in the South and moved when she started high school. More lies. She had become quite proficient at lying. Not a skill she was proud of.

Closing the app, she pulled up her Google account and typed in the search engine: Karrie Collins, Dallas, Texas. There were hundreds of hits, as she’d expected. It was a pretty common name, and spelling the name with a K rather than a C wasn’t unheard of. As she scrolled through the dozens of names, she stopped when she saw an obituary in The Dallas Morning News . She clicked on the link, then read through the obituary:

Tracie Denise Collins, age 34, born August 7, 1984, left this earth on February 8, 2005, to join Our Heavenly Father. She is survived by her husband, Jameson Ray Thurman, age 30, and daughter, age 12, Karrie Lynn Collins, and mother, Audrey Ann Collins. Services are to be held at Restland Chapel in Dallas.

Tracie.

Katherine’s heart began its usual pounding, a surefire precursor to a panic attack. Hands trembling, her vision diminishing to a mere pinpoint of light, she took a deep breath. Her head fell forward, sending her laptop crashing to the floor.