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TASHA

“ A re you okay?” Trevor asked once we were in his car. The moment we stepped out of the hotel we were swarmed with paparazzi, the cameras clicking, people yelling our names and throwing questions at us. Trevor shielded me from most of them and quickly ushered us into the car.

“Honestly, no.” I didn’t have it in me to lie.

I just felt…tired. So much happened that I was having a hard time processing it. My parents, the guy who assaulted me, Trevor protecting my honor. It was all a bit much.

I could feel myself wanting to shut down. To block everything and everyone out, just like I did when Daniel touched me in that club. But the hand on my knee kept me grounded. Just having Trevor close was calming the wave of emotions that threatened to drown me.

“It’s going to be okay.”

I barely noticed that Trevor was driving in the direction of his place instead of mine. In my head, all I could replay was seeing the set of eyes that had haunted me for a good year. Seeing the lack of emotions on my parents’ faces. There had been nothing there when I accused Daniel .

I think that was the worst part. The two people who were supposed to love me no matter what didn’t care that their daughter was assaulted. Didn’t care enough to speak up.

As soon as Trevor parked in front of his house, I felt my shoulders relax a little. His place was exactly where I wanted to be. It took me a minute to get out of the car with my dress. I was in such a daze getting in, I wasn’t even sure how I managed to fit in the front seat with it.

Trevor gently took my hand and led me up to the door, unlocking it with a quick flip, the comforting smell of citrus and woods wrapping around me. I wanted to bottle up that smell and take it with me everywhere.

Catching sight of Trevor’s bags near the door, I remembered he hadn’t even been home since he landed. Felt like a lifetime since I first saw him at the gala.

“You need to unpack. You can’t leave this here.” Reaching down, I grabbed one bag, grunting from the weight of it.

I started toward his bedroom, practically dragging it alongside me. He needed to put his stuff away. It wasn’t fair he hadn't been home in a week and had to immediately come to my rescue. These bags need to be emptied.

“Sunshine.”

I ignored him and kept walking. I knew what I was doing. I was deflecting. I was putting all my emotions into something else. Something that didn’t involve myself and my traumas.

“It can wait till tomorrow,” Trevor said, following behind me.

“No, it needs to be done now. You can also start your laundry.” Not caring that it was almost eleven o’clock at night, I kept walking.

If I distracted myself enough, it would be like nothing happened. I could shove it all down and forget it ever happened. Yep, that was what I was going to do. Just pretend it didn’t happen.

I could feel myself starting to breathe heavily. The sides of my vision darkened as I tried to heave Trevor’s bag onto the bed. When it wouldn’t move an inch, I gritted my teeth and tried again. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I tried one last time before letting out a yell.

“Stupid fucking bag.” All the emotions I'd been trying to hold back came crashing down. Tears blurred my vision as I kicked Trevor’s bag.

“Tasha.”

Trevor came up behind me as a loud sob escaped my lips.

“Baby.” Trevor’s voice was tender as he gently spun me around to face him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and tugging me into his chest. I clung to his shirt as I sobbed.

Trevor held me the entire time, softly rubbing my back. He didn’t bother whispering that it would be okay because that was the last thing I wanted to hear right now.

For the first time in a long time, I let myself cry. I'd bottled up so much, never fully letting myself feel it all. Even as a kid, I shoved it all down. Everything my parents said and did. What other kids at school said to me. Even after what happened at the club, I just convinced myself I was okay.

I was far from it. I'd always just been good at hiding it.

“They didn’t care.” My voice came out muffled against his shirt. Saying those words out loud made it feel like my heart was going to crumble. “They just stood there.” I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I guessed a part of me wanted my parents to say something. To ask if I was okay.

“I know,” Trevor whispered above me.

We stood there for who knew how long before my sobs subsided. I still clung to Trevor, seeking the comfort only he could give.

“I didn’t expect to see him either.” I whispered .

Daniel, being my assaulter, was the last thing I expected. I always thought I wouldn’t be able to put a name to the face, but then there he was wearing a smirk, clearly uncaring of what he did and unknowing of who I was. Of course he’d be the type my parents wanted me to marry. Not caring to know who he was as a person, yet looked down at Trevor.

Trevor, who was ten times the man anyone in that room was. The type of man who beat the shit out of Daniel regardless of what could happen. Who was standing here holding me in the middle of his bedroom while I broke down. He was the man I wanted. The man I always dreamed of having but never believed I could.

“I’m not sorry for beating the shit out of him,” Trevor spoke into my hair.

“Never be sorry.” I lifted my head off his chest, meeting his eyes. “I will never be mad at you for defending me.”

“Should have hit him harder.” His words forced a rough laugh out of me.

“Pretty sure his nose is broken.” A sick part of me found pleasure in that. I hoped Trevor broke his nose and bruised his face so badly it wouldn’t heal for months. While it wouldn’t make up for what he did to me, at least he’d be in pain.

Remembering that Trevor’s knuckles were bleeding, I untangled myself from his hold. Grabbing his arm, I gently led him toward the bathroom to get him cleaned up. Pushing him to sit on the toilet, I went to search for the first aid kit.

The two of us were quiet as I pulled out hydrogen peroxide. My dress swished along the ground and around my ankles, my heels clicking loudly on the bathroom tile. I bet we were a sight to see. Still dressed to the nines, my face streaked with mascara, Trevor’s hands bloody and swollen.

Trevor’s eyes stayed on me as I grabbed one of his hands, getting to work on cleaning up the blood .

“Do you want to talk about it?” he spoke after a moment. I caught my bottom lip between my teeth as I worked. I knew it wasn’t healthy keeping everything in. Hell, I was a therapist and here I was doing the exact thing I told my patients not to.

The only person I'd ever let myself be real around was Josie. She knew all the sides of me, the good and the bad. She was always that one person I could go to with everything. There had never been anyone else.

But here was Trevor, looking up at me with such love and patience. He wouldn’t ever judge me and if I decided not to talk about it, he wouldn’t be mad. I knew I could share everything going on inside me but not tonight. Tonight, I wanted to forget.

“No, not right now,” I murmured, finishing up his hands. Putting the dirty cotton balls on the counter, Trevor cupped the back of my thighs.

“Just know that if you ever do want to talk about it, I’m here.” The look in those eyes made my knees weak. “I will always be here.”

Bringing my hands up, I ran them through his hair, softly tugging at the strands. His hands tightened around my thighs over my dress.

“Thank you. I love you.”

Never thought I’d come to have such strong feelings for the man sitting in front of me. Falling in love was not the plan yet I fell headfirst.

“I love you too.” Leaning forward, Trevor pressed his forehead into my stomach, holding me to him. My heart felt like it was going to burst, thundering in my chest as we stood there, the intensity of the moment nearly overwhelming.

“Take me to bed,” I whispered.

Trevor pulled back to look up at me, eyebrows creased.

“Sunshine—” he started, but I shook my head .

“I want to. I need… I need you.”

I needed Trevor to wash away tonight. To replace the memory of that night . I needed it more than I needed anything else.

“Please.”

Trevor hesitated, looking into my eyes as if to be sure. Upon finding it, Trevor slowly stood up to this full height, his jaw clenching and those gorgeous green eyes locked onto mine. When his hands moved to grip my ass tightly, I bit my bottom lip.

“I did say I was going to peel you out of this dress.”

“Can’t back out of your promises.”

He dipped his head to brush his lips against mine. “Never.”

Needing out of this dress immediately, I forced myself out of his hold. With a curl of my finger, I beckoned Trevor to follow me as I stepped into the bedroom. Trevor prowled after me, eyes raking over my dress as if picturing me out of it. Little did he know there wasn’t much underneath.

Excitement and anticipation grew in my belly as he advanced on me. This was exactly what I needed. Trevor only made it right outside the bathroom before crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the door frame. He made no move to come take my dress off like he said he would.

“I thought you were going to take it off of me.”

Trevor shook his head. “Not tonight. Tonight, you are going to take control.”

My eyebrows raised at his words. Me take control?

“If you want anything, you’re going to take it. I won’t do anything unless you tell me to.”

I knew what he was doing. He was giving me back control after what happened tonight. Showing me that everything would always be on my terms. I hadn’t realized that was exactly what I needed. I needed to take back control .

I loved dominant Trevor. I preferred it, but tonight, he was right. Straightening my spine, I leveled a look at Trevor, hoping I looked more intimidating than I felt.

“Take my dress off.” While it was a command, it came out more as a question. Trevor’s lip quirked up, but he came forward to do as I said.

His hands landed on my hips and slowly trailed upward, fingers searching for the zipper. I held my breath as his fingertips barely brushed against the bare skin of my back. His eyes never once left mine as he gently tugged the zipper down, loosening the dress to the point that I had to hold the front or it would fall.

As soon as the zipper was down, Trevor stepped back, hands falling to his sides. Feeling a sense of power, I dropped my dress. The fabric pooled around my feet, leaving me bare aside from my red lace thong. Trevor’s gaze moved from my breasts down to my panties in one long sweep. His jaw clenched, and I could tell he was trying his best to control the urge to touch me.

Knowing he couldn’t touch me until I said, I smirked.

“Take off my heels.” I pointed to the ground in front of me. Trevor didn’t hesitate in moving to his knees. He peered up at me, a devilish look on his face. The sight of him on his knees, looking up at me, made my knees wobble.

A man as powerful and dominating purposely on his knees just for me was erotic as hell. Fuck, he was sexy .

I lifted up one foot and placed my hands on his shoulders. I watched as Trevor cupped my ankle, those skilled fingers unclasping the strap on my heels. A shiver ran up my spine at the feel of him stroking the sensitive skin.

He pulled the heel off before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on my thigh. Tapping the back of my calf, he signaled for me to lift my other leg. Once more, he cupped my ankle and got to work .

Never in my life had I seen something so captivating. I’d never had anyone remove my heels for me before, but the way it felt, I certainly wouldn’t mind if it became a regular thing.

Trevor gazed up at me, hands now on the back of my thighs, fingertips barely grazing the bottom of my ass. My hands had a mind of their own as they moved up his shoulders to run through his hair. The strands were so silky, I was jealous. What conditioner did he use?

Trevor kneeled there patiently, waiting for me to tell him what to do next. I was half tempted to tease him by lying on the bed, not letting him touch me while I touched myself, but I was too impatient.

“Take off my thong, please.” I didn’t mean to add the please at the end, trying to be dominating, but I was slowly losing my grasp on it. Trevor chuckled at my attempt as he grabbed the sides of my underwear and pulled them down in one motion.

“You’ll be wearing these again,” he whispered, flinging the pair off to the side.

With his head inches from my core, I gripped his head tighter and brought his face toward the place where I needed attention. My legs separated as my hips tilted forward.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Trevor spoke, stopping right above where I wanted him.

“Trevor,” I groaned.

“Words, Sunshine.”

“Lick my pussy.”

“Your wish is my command.” The moment his tongue touched my core, I was done. My head fell back onto my shoulders as a small moan left my lips. Using his hands, Trevor grabbed my ass and brought me even closer to his mouth.

All it took was a few swipes of his tongue to turn me into a puddle. I gripped his hair in tight fists, and each time I tugged, Trevor moaned against me.

He ate me like a starved man. His tongue speared me and then moved up to my clit in a circle. Each moan from his mouth vibrated against me, making it that more intense. I couldn’t stop my hips from grinding down on his tongue.

If it wasn’t for his grip on my ass, I would have fallen back on the bed as I got closer to coming undone. Each swipe of his tongue brought me that much closer. I knew it wouldn’t take me long to finish. I'd gone a week without him. It was crazy how fast you got used to waking up to someone between your legs.

“Right there,” I moaned loudly, riding his face. I looked down at Trevor, our eyes clashing. He looked up at me with a gleam in his eyes. The sight of his head buried between my legs while fully clothed was enough to make me come.

I came with a shout, legs shaking, eyes rolling back. Trevor moaned, picking up his pace, prolonging my climax. Right when I thought I was going to collapse back onto the bed, Trevor pulled back, his face slick and shiny. The sight should have embarrassed me but all it did was turn me on even more.

“I could listen to you come for the rest of my life.” His praise kicked my heart into overdrive.

“I need you.” That was all I could get out, my mind a jumbled mess.

Trevor slowly stood up, towering over me as his hands came up to pluck my hardened nipples.

“Where do you need me, baby?”

“I… I...” My brain wasn’t working properly, the growing need deep in my belly almost becoming too much. I needed him inside of me.

“Yes? ”

“Trevvvv,” I groaned already over being in control. I just needed him to take what he wanted.

“I need to hear you say what you want from me.” His voice was so husky and filled with need.

“I need you to fuck me. I need you to take control.” I didn’t care how needy the words sounded coming from my lips.

“Are you sure?” I could see Trevor’s control close to snapping.

“Please,” I begged. His fingers rolled over my nipples, making my breath hitch in my throat. My core pulsed between my legs.

“I’m going to touch every part of you and erase every bad memory you have.” Trevor’s green eyes glared into mine, not letting me look away. “You’ll only ever think of me when I’m done with you.”

I knew he meant every word.

“Is that clear?” Those fingers tightened just a tad bit more, making me go up onto my toes with a hiss.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

He grabbed me behind my thighs and lifted me up. One second, I was in his arms, and the next, I was lying on the bed. Moving up onto my elbows, I watched with rapt attention as he unbuttoned his dress shirt, slowly revealing tan skin and tattoos. My mouth watered as he tossed his shirt on the ground, his abs on full display.

I wanted what was under those slacks, the slacks he was sliding off his muscular legs. One of my hands moved to grab my breast, but a shake of Trevor’s head stopped me. Fisting the comforter, I tried my hardest not to touch as Trevor undressed in front of me.

I was full-on panting by the time he was done. Every inch of his body was on full display for me. All of that was mine. All mine.

The dark look on his face had my stomach fluttering. My thighs fell open as he crawled onto the bed and in between my legs. As he kissed up my stomach, in between my breasts, and up to my lips, I was done waiting.

“No foreplay, please,” I groaned against his lips.

I felt his hardness in between my legs, my hips tilting up to grind against it.

“Keep those beautiful eyes on me, baby,” Trevor instructed. Tugging my bottom lip between my teeth, I did as he asked.

Eyes glued to his, Trevor reached down and grabbed himself, nudging at my entrance. He waited all of a second before sliding himself completely inside of me in one motion.

My eyes threatened to roll back in my head, but Trevor’s eyes dared me not to. I clamped around his length, groaning at the fullness. Trevor’s own moan followed. God, it felt so good.

My legs hooked around his waist, hips up so he sunk even deeper in me. I grabbed onto his biceps as he slowly started to move.

Trevor’s thrusts were slow and loving. Every one molded all my broken pieces back together. I stared into his eyes, connected in a way that was so much deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would have someone like Trevor in my life. Someone who loved me enough to give me courage to love them right back. Before Trevor, I had been hell bent on believing that I was better off alone. That keeping myself closed off was the best thing to do.

I spent years wanting the type of love others had. Years wanting my parents to finally see me as more than just a pawn. And for the first time, I was learning that I deserved more than I let myself have.

I may not have had a great family growing up, but I had one now, composed of my favorite people. And I found the love I finally deserved.

Being with Trevor gave me the courage to love. To love him and to love myself. To accept all the broken pieces. Lying here while Trevor whispered how much he loved me made me realize that I no longer feared intimacy.

I knew I had work to do on myself, but for the first time in forever, I felt like my future wasn’t as unattainable as I once thought.