Page 19

19

TASHA

“ I ’m so glad you’re back. I can’t lose my favorite doctor.”

I grinned over at Mr. Waltham as he lowered himself into the chair. Mr. Waltham had been coming to me for almost six months and was probably one the sweetest old men you’d ever meet.

“You could never lose me, Henry.”

He pointed at me, wagging his finger. “Best doc in town.”

No matter how many times I told him I wasn’t really a doctor he still called me one. I'd long since given up trying to tell him otherwise.

“How are we doing today?” With my notepad in my lap, I leaned back in my chair.

“Good, good. I got a new neighbor.”

“Oh really?”

Mr. Waltham was one of my…more eccentric patients in the way that he didn’t really need therapy. At the age of seventy-five, he mainly came to have someone to talk to. Someone to interact with on a weekly basis. He had some of the best stories and lived in a retirement community that wa sn’t far from my office. He claimed half the people there were too snooty for him.

He was a soldier in the Vietnam War and had been married to his wife for over forty years until she passed away a few years ago. When he lost her, he lost the one person he could talk to everyday.

I told him he didn’t need to come in weekly, but he just shook his head and came anyway. I felt bad that he was paying for weekly sessions just because he was lonely, but I wasn’t going to turn him away when he needed someone. He could come as long as he wanted.

That was one thing I told myself when I got this job. No matter the person or the problem, they could come to me as long as they felt they needed to. I would never turn someone away if they needed help.

“Her name is Rosette. She moved in a few weeks ago.” My eyebrows raised at the mention that his new neighbor was a lady. It was the first time he spoke about another woman that wasn’t his late wife. I was a little surprised this was the first time he’d brought her up if she moved in a few weeks ago.

“Have you gone over and introduced yourself?”

“Why would I do that?” Mr. Waltham looked at me like I should have been the one in the seat he sat on. Like our roles should have been reversed.

“So you can meet your new neighbor.” I held back a grin. He was typically a social butterfly. Always telling me about some new person he met, even if that person was some kid he met at Applebee’s.

“You may find that you have something in common with her,” I continued. Mr. Waltham just shook his head. I had a feeling he liked this Rosette and that is why he hadn’t brought her up before now. My eyes dropped to his lap, observing as he fingered the wedding ring on his left hand. My heart squeezed .

“Is it because of Carol?” I asked softly. In the last six months, he’d talked non-stop about his wife. Telling me story after story about how they met, how they used to go dancing, and how she was the greatest love of his life.

“It’s still hard to believe she’s gone.” His voice turned soft. “Some days, I wake up and roll over thinking she’ll be there, smiling over at me like she always did. We did everything together.”

“Are you afraid that Carol would be upset if you talked to your new neighbor?”

“No.” Mr. Waltham shook his head again. “She probably would have hit me on the head for not going right over and introducing myself.” When he chuckled, I gave him a genuine smile. One that would encourage him to keep talking.

“So, why not go over?” I could tell my question hit close to home as he leaned back against the chair with a sigh.

I knew why he didn’t talk to his neighbor. He just didn’t want to say it out loud. The moment he actually spoke to another woman, it would solidify the truth—that Carol really was gone. In his mind, it was likely he thought he’d be cheating.

“You know,” I sat forward, hands on my lap. “People always say time heals. It heals pain, sadness, anger. In a way, they’re right, time does heal but it’s different when it comes to grief. Grief doesn’t go away overnight and while time can dilute it and make it a little easier to manage, it doesn’t disappear one day never to return again.”

I sent him a soft smile as I spoke.

“There is always going to be a part of you that misses Carol and grieves her loss. Ten years from now, you will still feel that grief but instead of that gut-wrenching pain, it’s going to turn into a small ache. An ache that will remind you that she’s no longer here, yes, but it won’t consume you. ”

I swallowed thickly as I watched him tear up across from me.

“You going over to talk to Rosette doesn’t mean you still aren’t grieving. It also doesn’t mean that you’ve suddenly moved on from Carol.” I knew that was his biggest fear. Giving someone else his love.

“I’m not saying you need to ask Rosette out on a date but having a conversation won’t hurt. Maybe you’ll find yourself a new friend. Or,” I reached across to softly touch his hand, “if the day comes that you feel something more for a woman, that’s okay, too.” His hand closed around mine as he nodded.

“There is no timeline for grief. And the same goes for moving on.”

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, Mr. Waltham’s hand clutched in mine. I could tell he wasn’t the type that liked to cry as he got himself together.

“Thank you, Doc.”

“Anytime. And if you need anyone to talk to, I am always here,” I promised.

Helping him stand up, I walked him to the door. He seemed…lighter than when he first walked in. Like my words helped ease something inside of him.

“Same time next week?”

“Of course, Doc.”

Giving me one last smile and pat on the hand, Mr. Waltham headed for the front doors of the building. Shutting my own office door, I leaned my forehead against it with a sigh. That was an unusual visit for him. I just hoped what I said helped a little.

Hearing my phone ring, I quickly went over to my desk and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

The voice on the other side made my heart sputter .

Trevor.

“Hey.” This was probably the first time we’d talked on the phone, just the two of us.

“How’s work going?” For some reason, those words made my throat close up. No one other than Josie ever asked me how work was. My own parents despised my job so of course they wouldn’t ask.

“Um, good. My patient just left, so I've got about an hour before the next one. How was practice?” I tried to keep my voice casual but was pretty sure I was failing.

“You okay?” Trevor completely passed over my own question.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Fine doesn’t always mean okay.” I heard shuffling in the background as he spoke.

“When did you get so analytical?” I leaned my hip against my desk, holding my phone closer to my ear. Weirdly, just hearing his voice made me feel better. It was days like today, having to help bear the weight of a loss, that made my job hard and draining.

“I have many layers.” I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, even though I couldn’t see him. “Seriously though, you sound upset. Did something happen?”

“Just a hard day with a patient.”

“Well, I think I know how to cheer you up.”

A knock sounded at my door. I already knew it was going to be my assistant telling me she was going on her lunch break. With my phone still pressed to my ear, I headed for the door.

“And what is that?”

Waiting for his response, I opened the door only to stop in my tracks. Trevor stood in front of me, holding up a bag of food with his phone to his ear.

“Lunch. ”

I slowly brought my phone down, staring at him in surprise. He was the last person I expected to see.

“Hope it’s okay that I just dropped by.” He had a hesitant look on his face, like he was expecting me to turn him away. Why the hell would I do that? He had been stuck in my mind from the moment I got home last night. Plus, he brought food.

“It’s more than okay.” I beamed. Him showing up was exactly what I needed. “Come in.”

I stepped to the side for him to pass by, my assistant standing right behind him with an approving look on her face. She sent me a wink before I shut the door. Facing Trevor, I noticed how his presence filled my entire office.

“I stopped by Rick’s and thought you could use something to eat.” Trevor rubbed the side of his neck, the motion making him irresistibly cute. At the mention of Rick’s food truck, my stomach growled.

One of the best things to come out of Josie and Wyatt’s relationship was finding out Rick's Food Truck existed. Rick owned one of the best food trucks and had some of the best hamburgers in Toronto. I became a regular after the first time Josie took me there.

“Sounds perfect.” I woke up late this morning and hadn’t had time to grab a proper breakfast before my first appointment, so I was starving.

“I got onion rings too.”

My mouth instantly watered at his words. I was a sucker for Rick’s onion rings.

“I could kiss you right now.”

“Which reminds me.” Trevor grabbed my hand, twirling me to face him. He wasted no time leaning down to kiss me.

The feel of his lips against mine made me forget everything that was going on in my mind. It was like he silenced it all, and all I could do was focus on him. Trevor filled my senses as I kissed him back. I grabbed the front of his shirt as I pressed into him.

Finally pulling away, my eyes fluttered open to meet his. The smile on his face did something to my stomach.

“Now you can eat.” I stood there, gaping at him, my mind trying to catch up. Whenever Trevor kissed me, it was like my brain turned to goo.

“I had no idea my kisses were good enough to make a person forget about one of Rick’s hamburgers.

“Oh, hush.” Ignoring his gaze, I took a seat, reaching for the to-go boxes. As soon as I opened the container with onion rings, I dug in. I could have eaten them every single day for the rest of my life.

“Gonna share?”

I shook my head, stuffing another ring in my mouth. “Get your own.”

“Wow, that's the thanks I get for bringing you food?” His expression morphed to something of mock hurt. We both knew it was just a ruse.

“Fine.” With a sigh, I grabbed an onion ring, purposely picking the smallest one, extending it out. “Here.” He took it with a raised eyebrow. “Be happy you got one.”

Shaking his head, the two of us dug into our food. I kept glancing over at him, still shocked he was actually here but glad he was.

“Thank you for the food,” I said after a little bit.

“Of course. Although, my intentions were a bit selfish.” Trevor looked down at his food, his cheeks a little pink. “I wanted to see you.” As if my heart could flutter anymore.

“Well, feel free to be selfish more often.”

“Will do.” We shared a smile. I felt like a teenager sitting in front of her crush, blushing while a kaleidoscope of butterflies flapped in her stomach.

“How was practice? ”

“Good. Coach was a hard ass, as always.” Coach Barnum was known for being an ass but winning multiple Cup Championships , I think you kind of had to be.

“Ready for your first game next week?” I may not have been as big of a hockey fan as Josie—the girl could make someone deaf with her screaming while watching the games—but I knew enough. Kind of hard not to when you lived in the hockey capital. Plus, Josie practically forced me to watch games with her, so I managed to pick up what actually went on in a game.

“Yeah, we have a new defensive player and he’s not bad, but he keeps letting goals through. He needs to lean more into the goalie and keep his stick straight.” While I learned a lot about the game, there were still things I didn’t know- like the importance of a player keeping his stick at a certain angle. “He’ll get there, though.”

I caught the last part of his sentence, but I was too focused on how endearing he looked when he talked about hockey.

“You love it, don’t you?” At the look on his face, I clarified. “Hockey.”

“I do.” The smile that appeared on his face made me want to smile. “I didn’t even play hockey until high school.”

“Oh?” Toeing my heels off, I curled my legs underneath me.

“I grew up in Elora, and there was only one ice rink in the entire town. It was always packed, but in order to skate, you had to pay.” Trevor grabbed a french fry as he spoke. “Since I didn’t have a lot of money growing up, I couldn’t ever go and skate. Even when my friends wanted to go, I couldn’t. I did sneak in a few times, though.”

“Such a rule breaker,” I teased.

“When I got to high school, my only priority was to graduate and move. My sophomore year, my school started their first hockey team, so I went to tryouts. Found out I was pretty damn good.”

“Played ever since?”

“Pretty much. Somehow got a scholarship to Toronto to play, and the rest is history.”

“Bet you’re glad you went to tryouts that day.” I said.

“It was more about being away from my house. It was easier to be at the rink sometimes.”

It meant a lot that Trevor was here opening up about his parents. It wasn’t easy to talk about certain situations. While I knew there was more to the story about his parents I would let him tell me on his own time.

“So…” When Trevor changed the subject, I let him. “Why were you upset earlier?” Of course, he didn’t forget.

“It was nothing.” I waved him off.

“If it made you upset, it's not ‘nothing.’”

“My patient from earlier lost his wife a few years ago.” I couldn’t say too much because of doctor-patient privilege. I may have only been a counselor, but it was still an invasion of privacy and against the law. “It was a rough day for him. I tried to be of help, but I’m not sure I was.”

My biggest fear slipped past my lips without realizing it. I had never fully admitted that out loud before, not even to Josie. That I questioned my ability to guide a person through their struggles in a way that had them coming out on top on the other side of it. That I was just sitting there spouting bullshit. That I wasn’t making a difference.

“Hey.” Trevor’s voice was soft as he stood up, moving to squat in front of me. He placed his hands on my knees, drawing my attention to him. “Tasha, you are great at what you do.”

“I—”

“No. Don’t even think about putting yourself down. You care about your patients, which makes you great at your job.” His hands squeezed my thighs. “Sometimes, just having their words listened to is all people need. They need someone who will care enough to stop and listen and understand.”

Trevor had absolutely no clue how much his words meant. How they helped ease the pressure in my chest.

“How do you always say the right thing?” I whispered, my own hands coming down on his. When I first met Trevor, I never once thought he’d be someone I could confide in or who would say the right thing to make me feel better. There was so much more to him than I ever knew or let myself know, for that matter.

“It’s one of my many talents.”

I chuckled at his response. “Thank you.” I met his eyes as I squeezed his hands.

He was the first person that wasn’t Josie that made me confident in my job. That I was making a difference when I second-guessed myself.

I'd always been someone who pushed for perfection. If I couldn’t do it perfectly the first time, I beat myself up about it for weeks at a time. My parents strived for that same thing, which I guessed was where I got it from. Always having to get straight A’s, be in advanced classes, learn languages.

I may not have had the job they wanted, but I still had that urge inside of me to be perfect at it. Even more so to show them that I was doing just fine in the career that I chose. I was always trying to prove myself with everything I did.

“Always.”

The urge to kiss him grew more and more the longer he stayed in that position. Him squatting between my legs made him perfectly in line with my lips. My hands moved on their own, leaving his hands to softly touch the scruff on his face. “I like this,” I murmured.

“Yeah? ”

“It suits you.” It made him look more rugged.

“I’ll make sure to keep it then.” At that point, the two of us spoke softly. My palms smoothed over his face while his hands ran over my thighs ever so slowly. Even wearing my work slacks, his body heat seeped through the fabric.

“I want to kiss you.” The words left my lips in a whisper making him chuckle.

“You don’t need to ask permission, Sunshine.”

I didn’t let myself be embarrassed as I brought my lips to his. Not when kissing Trevor made everything inside of me settle down. It wasn’t a sexual kiss as his lips moved gently against mine. It was crazy how fast I went from pushing Trevor away to needing him. But not a single part of me second-guessed it.

Pulling away from each other, Trevor gave me that smile that made my heart race. I could definitely get used to him coming to my office for lunch.