Page 32 of Faster

Chapter Twenty-Four

Luca had an inkling of what Ethan wanted, and he was filled with a kind of hesitance that he’d never felt before.

He wasn’t even sure he understood the way his stomach clenched.

It was bigger than any nerves he felt before any race, even the one the prior season he’d thought would be his last. Even his first.

He felt as though he was standing on the edge of a cliff, thinking about taking a dive into the clear blue azure of the sea. Making the leap might give him just enough of the adrenaline he needed.

Or it might end in him crashing on the rocks.

Anything worth having in life was worth getting hurt for. And, in the past few weeks, he’d been thinking about Cece every waking minute. Ever since she’d cut him off. After Imola—when there was a moment with Ethan in his room—he’d been thinking about Ethan too.

He parked his car, but he didn’t get out right away. If he walked into Ethan and Cece’s home, if Ethan suggested what Luca thought he would, and if Cece agreed, there would be no turning back. It was a lot of ifs, but his instincts were rarely wrong about the next three steps or the next five.

If he thought about all the ways this could go wrong, he’d never do it.

If he thought about how many things could go wrong every time his wheels made contact with the track, he’d never drive a race car again.

He’d never feel the thrill of moving so fast that his organs had to catch up.

He’d never feel the way he did when he was totally hooked up in the car and on the edge for the perfect qualifying lap.

He’d never feel the disappointment of losing power and seeing smoke stream from the engine box as he had to retire the car, but that was worth the winning—every single time.

Cece—and Ethan—would be worth the price. He got out of the car and exited his building from the back door. The alleyway was quiet, and his steps echoed over the old cobblestones. Cece must have walked this way in the rain on New Year’s Eve. She’d been lonely and angry. She’d needed him.

Just like she’d needed him while she was sitting at the table tonight.

He’d wanted nothing more than to reach out to her—to have as much right to touch her as Ethan did.

He wasn’t going to kid himself into thinking he would be able to do that if they were all together.

As long as they were in this sport, with all of its machismo, there was no way that two queer drivers could be in a throuple with one of their wives and have any sense of peace and privacy.

It would be a complete and utter frenzy.

Cece hated the invasion of the press as things stood.

She would absolutely not be able to tolerate the level of attention that a public relationship between the three of them would bring.

So, it would have to be quiet. It would probably be temporary.

Things would get complicated, and they would fall away from each other.

But it would still kill him to not be able to touch her out in the open.

Ethan had texted him the code to the service entrance. As the door clicked open, he realized any pain would be worth having just a little bit of what he craved.

Cece paced the floor in the foyer of their flat.

Ethan sat on the couch in the living room, flipping through a magazine as though he hadn’t dropped a bomb at dinner.

He hadn’t spoken at all on their way home in the car.

And he hadn’t said anything except remarking on how the restaurant wasn’t as good as it used to be on the way upstairs.

Finally, she’d snapped. “What are you planning?”

“To talk.” He’d just smiled at her. “Don’t worry so much.”

Of course, that had made her worry more. He’d put his hand on the small of her back in that possessive way, and it had been oddly comforting. Maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about, and maybe she had a whole new host of problems scratching and biting at her door.

But she was saved from spiraling further when someone knocked on the door softly. Her heart almost leaped from her chest. He was here.

She must have stood still for too long because Ethan walked to the door and opened it. Cece didn’t want to speak. She wanted to wait for them to say something. The tension—the energy—in the room was a thick, syrupy thing that had its own momentum. Its own timing.

Luca nodded at Ethan and crossed the threshold, walking straight to her. “Are you okay?”

He grabbed her upper arms and looked her up and down, as though he was inspecting her for damage. The only damage she felt was to her nerves.

“I’m fine. Just—”

Ethan came close to both of them, and that didn’t help the anxious boulder in her gut at all. “Confused. And I wish I could say I was sorry about ambushing the both of you. I’m man enough to admit it was petty.”

Cece could protest that it wasn’t fair he’d put them both on the spot in public. But it made sense—unlike wanting to talk later in private. “Are you ever going to just say what you want to say? Or are you going to extract your revenge in perpetuity?”

This was torture. Ethan knew that when he smiled at them both. “Drinks?”

Cece would throw up if she had a single drop of alcohol right now. “Nothing for me.”

“Whatever you’re having.” Luca might be confused, but he wasn’t a mess quite like her.

He even let go of her arms as they walked into the living room.

But she could feel his fingers brushing against the base of her spine.

It was a small, nothing touch. Just knowing it was there gave her some fortitude.

Ethan went over to the wet bar and poured two scotches from a bottle that was older than all three of them put together. Despite her not wanting anything, he poured her a fizzy water with a twist of lime.

Luca sat on the other couch, across from her.

“Drink this,” Ethan said as he put it down in front of her. She looked up at him, and his gaze was soft and loving, but he took a seat on the chair perpendicular to both chaise sofas. He took a long sip of his drink before looking at both of them in turn. “I want to watch you.”

Cece’s breath stopped. He wanted to what ?

Luca, for his part, was way cooler about this than her. “You’ve never wanted to watch before. You’ve always liked to be an active participant.”

“You’ve had—um—threesomes? Like together?

” Cece didn’t mean to sound angry. She was angry, but it wasn’t about the fact that her husband and her lover had fucked the same person together before.

She was mad the other person hadn’t been her.

But first, she needed to clarify what had actually gone down.

Ethan had the courtesy to blush. Of course he did. Luca looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Before you. But he refused to share you. He was extremely possessive, which is why I’m questioning this change of heart years later.”

Cece motioned between the two of them. “And you two?”

One side of Luca’s mouth turned up. “Yes.” He took a sip of his drink.

Images flooded her brain. She knew how both of their mouths felt against hers, and it didn’t take anything for her to imagine them kissing each other.

They would be rougher with one another than they were with her.

They were both sort of dominant, in their own ways.

For Luca, it was like breathing. He was just in charge in any room he walked into.

Ethan was more Machiavellian than dominant. He was like a chess player. It was reflected in his racing style as much as the way he’d orchestrated them into position this evening.

She took a sip of her water and suddenly wished it was scotch. Her blood was rushing through her, flooding every part of her body but her brain. She could feel the air touching her skin. Or was it the way that Luca and Ethan both looked at her with expectation in their gazes?

“You expect me to respond to that?” She still sounded angry. “I’m not pissed that you two have had threesomes. I’m not pissed that you’ve fucked each other. I’m not even pissed that you both lied to me about both for years. After all, I’ve lied to both of you.”

Ethan grinned, and she wanted to punch him. He’d guessed all of this, and nothing was more satisfying to the man than being right.

Luca leaned forward. “What did you lie to me about?”

“Not wanting more of you.”

Despite this utterly wild situation, a weight came off Luca’s chest when Cece admitted she’d been lying.

He’d known it deep inside, but it helped to hear her admit it.

He supposed he understood why Ethan had done all this.

It helped to see the people who’d wronged you admit what they’d done. It helped to see them squirm.

But demanding to watch him and Cece together was a bridge too far.

Ethan would be able to keep himself at an emotional distance.

His clothes would be on, and he wouldn’t be vulnerable.

This was not how it had been before. He was turning their friendship—or what was left of it—into something sordid and wrong.

It was never that.

“Why do you want to watch?” Knowing that was key to what would happen next.

Cece’s skin was flushed, and her eyes darted between the two of them.

Her pupils were blown, and she shifted in her seat as though she needed one or both of them between her legs.

He wanted to give her all of that and more, but Ethan had to use his words.

“I’ve always thought about it, and I think the two of you owe me.”

Sometimes his entitlement was so pernicious that it made Luca want to scream. He wanted to strip away the smug demeanor Ethan wore at this moment.

“Yes.” He didn’t agree they owed him any damned thing, but he wasn’t going to argue that point right now. “But you always enjoyed being part of the action before, and I’m wondering why that’s changed.”

He glanced over at Cece, who was looking between the two men in her living room as though they were all strangers. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think it was my place, and I wanted you too much the night you showed up dripping in my apartment.”

Cece said, “Apology accepted.” He didn’t know he’d been expecting her not to forgive him until then.

“See how easy that was, Ethan. I apologize, and she accepts and moves on.” Ethan’s grip tightened on the arms of the chair he was pretending to relax in.

“And my apology even involved a minor betrayal. It seems to me that you two are even on points when it comes to lying and adultery, and the only reason that you want to watch me fuck her is because it’s going to get you off.

But I’m going to need you to articulate your reasoning. ”

“I—”

It was rare that Ethan was at a loss for words. He was quotable and meme-able, but he didn’t seem to have anything right at this moment. Cece filled in for him. “You want to watch so that you won’t feel anything.”

Luca had to remind himself that Cece knew a lot more about Ethan than he did. At least, at this point in his life she did. A hint of jealousy hit him. He used to be the person who knew Ethan best, and Cece had taken his place.

“And I’m not going to give you that.” If Cece was going to play hardball, then he was going to let it play out. “Maybe Luca and I will agree to letting you watch—the first time.”

Luca was instantly hard. He’d walked in thinking this probably wouldn’t happen.

Even if this wasn’t about some petty bullshit from Ethan—just like dinner had been—there was no way Cece would agree.

She was the most sensible out of all of them.

After all, she’d gotten Ethan to avoid cocaine and his bad friends for years before the cheating.

This whole scene was out of Ethan’s control, and he couldn’t get it back.

He’d half expected them to balk at his ask, but for some reason, he hadn’t thought of them turning things around on him.

“This is not about me. This is about me wanting to see what you’re like together, so I can decide if I still want to be with her. ”

“That’s a load of bullshit and you know it,” Luca said right back.

Cece didn’t even look horrified. She looked as if she expected him to lash out when he was in a corner.

“In fact, I think you should let me watch the two of you. You never let me do it before, and now you bring me here like some kind of hired stud.”

Now Luca was trying to be funny. He always made a joke out of serious topics. Sometimes, like when reporters were digging where they shouldn’t, it was an asset. But it was getting on Ethan’s nerves at the moment.

Unfortunately, Cece found his humor appropriate at the moment.

She threw her head back and laughed. When she did that, she threw her entire body into it.

Her whole body shook with it. God, he loved his wife.

He didn’t just need her sitting on a shelf at home like a trophy.

He needed her laughing in their living room and sleeping next to him.

He needed to hear how she sighed when she was done laughing, the way she curled into herself as though he’d just made her come when he’d only told a half-decent joke.

Luca had always made her laugh. His best friend had always brought him to life too. He’d missed his friend. He’d missed how Cece was when they were all friends.

“Maybe I made a mistake all of those years ago when I said that I couldn’t share her with you.

It’s just that I didn’t see how we could make it more than a one-night stand, and Cece has always been more to me than that.

” Ethan turned to Cece, who had stopped laughing and looked at him with watery eyes.

“I know that I don’t deserve trust from either of you.

I know that it seems like we’re falling apart.

But I thought that seeing you two together would finally put my doubts to rest.”

“But you’re not thinking those silly thoughts anymore, are you?” Luca narrowed his gaze at him. “You truly think we should all try being together?”

Ethan wasn’t going to deny them. He could tell by the look in his oldest friend’s eyes. Ethan nodded, and then he and Luca both looked to Cece. This was all up to her. She was the deciding vote.