Page 15 of Faster
Chapter Nine
A lot of the WAGs didn’t attend the race in Jeddah, including Cece and Jocelyn Godwinson, who was probably the only person Cece would call a friend in the paddock.
Jocelyn was friends with everyone and was an ideal WAG.
She was invited to all the right dinner parties, and she knew every tidbit of gossip in the whole of the motorsports world.
Cece was a bit surprised they’d formed a genuine connection.
She’d even been at New Year’s Eve, though she’d thankfully disappeared before Cece had found her drugged-out husband fucking another woman.
Even though she and Ethan had settled into a very tense stalemate, Cece couldn’t wrap her mind around what he’d done.
He’d chosen to do cocaine, and he’d chosen to take another woman to her bed.
Even though he’d been under the influence, she couldn’t completely absolve him in her mind.
He claimed he would never cheat on her sober, but a part of him must have wanted to. That didn’t just come from nowhere.
She inhaled the sea breeze as she navigated the narrow streets of Monte Carlo, focusing on arriving at her destination in one piece.
She would never get used to European drivers, even after learning to drive among the many Miami drivers that seemed to have a death wish every time they got behind the wheel.
She still wasn’t sure whether she would be divorcing Ethan at the end of the season, and no amount of ruminating seemed to solve that.
Their estrangement laid bare a lot of the preexisting problems in their marriage—all the things she’d ignored when she’d thought they were blissfully happy.
And him cheating had woken a passion for Ethan—in the form of jealousy—that was hard to ignore.
Right now wasn’t the time for deep thoughts about marriage.
She and Jocelyn had arranged to have lunch in Monte Carlo the Tuesday after Jeddah and before Melbourne.
She parked her restored 1967 Lupo convertible in front of the valet stand at the Metropole and handed them the keys.
A few tourists held up their phones and snapped pictures or took videos of her as she entered the hotel.
She was sure they would show up on social media in the next few minutes, and the details of her outfit would be public knowledge a half hour after that.
She walked in to find her friend sitting at a table in the restaurant, near the window. So, she wanted to be seen today?
Jocelyn was married to a Finnish driver, notorious for loathing the press. Like a lot of the WAGs, she’d been a model and met Heka at a party on a yacht. Jocelyn had immediately become the head-WAG-in-charge, and she was loath to give up that moniker.
Honestly, if Cece had known that modeling and going to parties would likely end with her married to a race car driver, she might have reconsidered some of the decisions she’d made at twenty-one.
Anyhow, the way Jocelyn told it, she’d informed Heka they would end up married that first night, and he’d just smiled and said, “We’ll see.”
Six months later, Jocelyn’s prophecy had come true after the British Grand Prix.
Cece sometimes thought Jocelyn had probably just presented Heka with a tuxedo and a license as he got out of the shower, and he’d walked into the suit and posed for pictures.
Heka seemed relieved to be in the presence of someone who loved the spotlight as much as he hated it.
She and Heka made a good team. Every time Heka had so many points on his license he got suspended for a race, Jocelyn got pregnant, and everyone forgot that he sometimes drove like they were in a game of bumper cars.
They had four children, and Heka still had a racing seat.
Most of this was before Cece’s time. Heka was in the twilight of his career—each season, rumors flew about his retirement. But he still put in performances that kept his team in the midfield, with the occasional brilliant race. So, teams kept him on.
Jocelyn’s shiny blond hair looked effortless, which she ruthlessly maintained with eight-hour-long hair appointments in luxury hotels around the world. She had a wide smile with a slight gap between her two front teeth, which told everyone they were real and not veneers.
She was just as lean as she had been while modeling, and Cece wasn’t sure if she’d seen her consume anything other than a green vegetable when she wasn’t pregnant. Jocelyn might have baby-smooth skin underneath her fake tan, but she was old enough that she’d missed the boat on body positivity.
But in Cece’s experience, body positivity just meant that you couldn’t talk about what you hated about your appearance in public without pushback.
Everybody still hated how they looked and employed any means necessary to adhere to intractable beauty standards.
It was just a secret wrapped up in platitudes about wellness now.
Jocelyn stood up and hugged Cece. She smelled like her husband’s cologne. She wore it to mark her territory. What Cece appreciated about Jocelyn was that she would admit outright that’s what she was doing. There might be artifice with Jocelyn, but there had never been a lie.
Her friend pulled back and looked Cece up and down. “I missed you at my Jeddah watch party this weekend, and I also need a drink. Lola is suspended from kindergarten for biting another student.”
Lola was their oldest. She took after her father. “What did he do? Cut her off on the way to the crayons?”
Jocelyn threw her head back and laughed, steering Cece to a chair. “No, he told her that her father was going to get fired after Sunday’s race.”
Heka had DNF’d after defying team orders to let his teammate pass him. It was typical driver behavior, but team principals tended to get pissed about that. And they had a long memory for that kind of thing when it came time to renegotiate contracts.
“She’s so protective of her father,” Jocelyn said, her voice laced with admiration for her daughter’s naughty behavior. Lola seemed to take after both her parents. Jocelyn also had a little bit of bite when her back was against the wall.
Then again, when photographers had crushed her outside her kids’ school, she’d told them, “I wish we just gave kids little go-karts and their own lane to take themselves to and from school. Taking them myself limits how long my colorist can keep foils in.”
When one of the photographers asked, “You mean, give them bikes?” she’d smashed his camera.
“Speaking of fathers, is Ethan going to be one anytime soon?” Cece’s skin heated at the question, and her stomach sank. Even before the cheating, she’d felt like she had a sign over her head, saying “Inadequate Woman” in lights when she was questioned about having a baby.
She trusted Jocelyn, to a point, but she didn’t want to get into anything heavy with her. They didn’t have that kind of range in their friendship. “Not yet.” She poured herself a glass of champagne to bring the point home and took a long sip.
“You’re not getting any younger,” Jocelyn said, a tinge of censure in her voice.
Cece was already aware enough that she didn’t have the rest of her life to have children.
And not that she would share this with the woman sitting across from her, but she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to have children with her current husband.
“I’m aware of that.” Cece lifted up her glass in a toast. “At least I’m getting smarter.”
“It would be smart to bolster Ethan’s image as a family man.” Cece almost snorted champagne out of her nose at Jocelyn’s ridiculous statement. “And it would get you some great press coverage.”
“Oh, I’m sure that @WAGsandSLAGs will cover my hypothetical pregnancy breathlessly.”
“You make jokes now, but it’s a big contract year. No one’s seat is safe.” Cece had the feeling that Jocelyn was projecting her own anxiety. “And @WAGsandSLAGs has been very kind to me over the years.”
“Yes. They barely ever photograph you when you’re overdue for Botox.
” Cece bared her teeth with her smile. She realized that it was currently a nonnegotiable part of her life, but she resented that there were Instagram accounts and Substacks devoted to picking apart drivers’ wives, girlfriends, and dates.
Jocelyn rolled her eyes, and Cece wasn’t sure whether to be offended. Usually, she found her fellow WAG charming, but she was grating on her already rough nerves right now.
“Is there something wrong between you and Ethan?”
Nope. Cece wasn’t going to give out any information about what had happened on New Year’s Eve and what she and Ethan were going through at the moment. That was not for public consumption, and Jocelyn didn’t deserve her confidence today.
“Ethan is at a crossroads in his career, right now. Just like Heka.” Jocelyn choked a little on her champagne. “It’s tough having Luca with the team, given that they are no longer friends.”
“Did you ever get answers about what happened between them?” Cece had told Jocelyn that she didn’t know why Ethan and Luca had fallen out, and Jocelyn had suggested it was because Luca was in love with her. She’d dismissed her completely at the time, but maybe Jocelyn had been right.
“I have no idea.” Cece looked down at the menu, even though she ate here almost weekly. Monte Carlo was such a small town. She couldn’t wait to leave for Melbourne next week.