Page 29 of Fast Break

Twenty-Nine

Charlie

Later, I textPalmerabout meetingBianca,Matt, and me fordinner.

She can't because she has to stay awhile afterpractice, since she'll be missing tomorrow's.

I invite her to my place, sinceMattwill be at Bianca'stonight, and she shows up around nine looking nothing like my bright beauty.

Her skin is sallow, tight lines tug her mouth down, and no trace of sparkle in her eyes.

She slumps onto the couch with a wan smile.

"Toughpractice?"I ask, sitting next to her, my body half-turned to face her.

"Tough day."She lets out a gust of breath."I shouldn't have come. I'm physically and mentally drained right now.Coachis not happy I'm missingpracticetomorrow, so I had to put in extra time."

"Don't go just yet,"I say,puttingmy hand on her knee."Want a glass of wine?Beer? Water?"

She squints her eyes at me for a moment."How about someicecream?"

"I think that's a great idea. Cal's is open until ten on Saturday nights."

She stands and reaches out her hand to help me up."Buy me a scoop?"

"I'll buy youtwentyif you want,"I say with agrin.

Wewalkacross the street hand-in-hand. It's busy, so we wait in line, not saying anything, just holding hands. Marnie clocks our hands and slides me a sly smile."What can I getcha, hon?"

I raise my eyebrows atPalmer. She taps herlipwith her finger as she evaluates the coolers."How about a scoop of the double-double chocolate fudge on a sugar cone?"

"Just one scoop?"I ask.

Her nose crinkles."Mystomachisn't so settled. One scoop is plentytonight."

I squeeze her hand and order my usual, twist cone, but add rainbow sprinkles. Marnie serves our order, and we head outside. Cal's outdoor patio is full, so we cross the street and sit on my stoop.

"What time are youleavingtomorrow?"I ask, licking the soft serve before it can melt in my hands. It's particularly humidtonight, and there's no breeze to move the stagnant air.

"First thing,"she says. She licks the sides of her scoop, smoothing out the edges."My motherwantsme there before guests arrive, so around nine, I guess. Thepartystarts at eleven."

"I can go with you,"I offer, biting off thetopof my cone.

Shestaresat hericecream, which isstartingto drip. I retrieve a napkin I'd stuck in my pocket and hand it to her."Thanks. Andthankyou for offering, but I need to do thisalone."

"Why?"My brows pinch together."You don't have to do any of thisalone,Palmer."

She nibbles at her cone."I appreciate the gesture,Charlie. But I don't want to subject you to my family drama. That's going above and beyond."

"It's what friends do for each other,"I reply, choking down the words I really want to say. We're more than friends, and she knows it.

"You don't have to?—"

"I want to. I'llpickyou up at eight. Just tell me what to wear."

"No,"she says on an exasperated breath. She stands up and walks to the curb to toss her half-eaten treat into the garbage can. She turns to face me with an unreadable expression."You're not coming with me,Charlie."

"Why not?"Iwalkover and toss my cone away, too, so my hands are free to wrap around hershoulders.

"Because I don't want you to,Charlie."She rolls hershoulders, knocking my hands free. My arms dangle while I try to figure out what the hell is going on with her, why she's refusing my help. Refusing me. Then she takes ashotright at my heart.

"This isn't a relationship. It's a fling. You don't take the guy you're sleeping with to be yourdateto your cousin's engagement lunch, especially when she's engaged to your ex-boyfriend. My mother would know thiswasn'treal in a minute, and the last thing I need is to look even more pathetic."

I stumble back, the wind whipped right out of me.

Slack-jawed, all I can do is stare at her.

Her back is to me and she doesn't even realize she's just plunged afuckingstake through my heart.

I grind my teeth, torn between scooping her up and taking her inside toshowherexactlyhow real this is to me, and respecting her space.

"Why?"I croak, clearing my throat.

"Why what?"sheasks, still not turning around.

"Why would your mother know in a minute Iwasn'tyourboyfriend?"The words scrape my throat on the way out. I think I understand, but I need to hear it fromPalmer.

She turns, hergazesliding by me. Herchestflushes, tiny spots of rose bloom on cheeks visible by the streetlight."She would just... know."

"Because I'm not like your previous boyfriends."I clench my jaw, every muscle in my body tensing."I'm not rich or polished. I don't come from money or privilege. I'm not your type, right? I'm just afundistraction."

"It's not—,"she blows out a breath and casts a glance to the sky, setting her hands on herhips."I'm notexactlyyour type, either, right?"

"What type is that?"I match her stance.

"Uh, let's see."She starts ticking things off with her fingers."No more than five-foot-nothing in stocking feet, tiny ass, delicate bone structure, boobs you could fit in a wine glass."

"Bullshit,"I say, although she just described Angela. AndLiberty. And the flight attendant.Shit. I did have a type. At least I did beforePalmer.

"You even have the same script, for God's sake. Don't pretend to be offended."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on,Charlie,"she scoffs. Sheholdsup her fingers crooked like quotation marks."'I'm so lucky to be with you.' 'I wish you believed how beautiful you are.' Give me abreak. I know they're just lines.Libertytold me."

I rear back."Libertytold you what? I honestly have no idea what thefuckyou're talking about."

For a moment, hergazewavers, and she seems unsure. But then she does that thing where she straightens hershouldersand steels herself, like she's going into battle."Libertywarned me about the lines you use. She said you've said those exact words to her."

"She's lying,"I protest."I might have a few lines, I admit it. I liked topickup women and take them home. It's mutual, all part of the little dance we do. But I've never said anything to you I didn't mean."

Herlaughis scornful."She repeated them verbatim. How would she knowexactlywhat you said to me, word-for-word, if you never said the same to her?"

"I don't know. I only know I meant those words for you and only you,Palmer."

She's breathing heavy, hands on herhips. She drops her head."It doesn't matter. This isn't real. It never was. It never was supposed to be."

A cleat to my balls wouldhurtless. I don't know what to say, because I don't know what happened. I don't know what this is. Abreak-up? Can'tbreakup something that doesn't exist, and according to her, nothing exists between us.

"I should go,"she says, so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"Yeah. Maybe you should."I inch backward toward my house.

She looks up, her expression pinched, and takes a step toward me."I'm sorry. I don't want to fight. You've become one of my closest friends, and I don't want to lose you."

I force a tight-lipped smile at her, even as the dagger twists in my heart."Yeah. Well, I'll just wish you good lucktomorrow, then."

She takes another step forward while I retreat."Can we—can I see youtomorrow? This thing is at eleven and Iplanto get out of there as soon as I've eaten. Then can we talk about this? I'm just in a stupid mood, and I took it out on you, and I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

She comes to me. This time, Istandstill and let her put her arms around me, her head fitting perfectly in the crook of my neck. Iclosemy eyes and breathe in her sweet scent. I'll never be able to smell a peach the same way again."Nothing to forgive. I'm sorry I pushed."

"Still friends?"she murmurs. Her breath ghosts over my fluttering pulse.

"Always,"I say, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. I think I just lost thegame. Mychestis heavy. I've lostPalmer.