Page 88 of False Start

“What’s that?” I ask, immediately regretting and knowing the answer before it comes out of their mouths in unison.

“Detox.”

“Why is she not awake?” my brother asks.

“She’ll probably come out of it soon. Every reaction is different. Once she’s awake, we can start the discharge process,” she tells him.

A slightly sleepy groan pulls my attention back to Nia, and I don’t care that the nurse is here. I rush to her side, grabbing for her hand.

“Give us some privacy?” Ryan asks her.

I don’t turn around to watch her leave, my whole world right here in front of me. She closes the door loudly enough that when the latch clicks shut, my mouth is moving on command. “Why the fuck are you here?”

“Closure,” he says from the chair in the corner of the room, as far away from Nia as possible.

As if his plan is to just sit there until she’s fully awake.

“For you, or for her?” I ask.

I still haven’t looked at his face.

“Does it matter, Catie?”

I can’t help but reject the nickname with my entire body.

I was never a fucking Catie, except when I was his sister.

I hope it tastes like saltwater on his tongue.

I hope it dries his mouth out.

“She didn’t OD off my shit.” He says it so plainly, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to clear his name or his conscience. “I cut her off almost two weeks ago.”

Him not being to blame doesn’t make any of this better.

“Are you the one who got her started?” I finally turn my head and take a good look at his face. I hate how much we look alike.

He chuckles like the asshole he is. “Nia has always been smart enough to know her limits. I made a bad decision, but I’m not the bad guy here.”

“She was fucking falling apart when she went to you. You might as well have just given her a gun.” I know my words hurt, I know they remind him of our father and that while it affected me, it didn’t define me like it did him.

My voice is devoid of emotion, but it’s a mask. Ineedhim to think he’s not affecting me.

Because inside, it’s tearing me apart.

“Mãe?” Nia’s voice is weak and raspy.

“It’s me,” I say that like it means anything, like I’m not just someone she walked out on.

“Cat?” She squeezes my hand, finally opening her eyes. They’re immediately flooded with tears, and all I want is to hold her in my arms now and tell her she’s safe.

“Fuck.” It’s all my brain has the power to come up with. The relief of hearing her call my name is everything.

Her eyes dart past me, and her expression changes too suddenly for me to think anything other than she’s noticed him.

Ryan.

“Get out.” It’s barely a whisper from her lips, but every hair on my arms comes to stand at hearing her say those words.