Page 102 of False Start

Together.

We’re home.

Nia is the first to break the silence. “I-I don’t know if we can pay you back for this D?—”

“You’re not.” She follows with a wink. “I own you bitches now.”

“What?” I can’t help but laugh.

“I’m gonna sell the boutique. I’ve been depressed for months trying to figure all of this shit out. Losing Lonnie didn’t help, and then Scott came and changed everything. Made me feel like it was a sign that my time was up.” She exhales loudly. “I read the wrong sign.” She shrugs. “I’m not supposed to leave; I think my role has just changed.”

“You’re not retiring?” Star’s voice is so full of hope that my chest swells.

“No, babe, I’m retired as fuck. These knees can’t take a hit anymore,” she jokes. “Lonnie was doing the work of like fifteen people, but maybe with enough of us to spread it all out, we might be able to do this.”

“You love the boutique,” Nia laments.

“No. Ilovedthe boutique. Now, it’s a money pit, and I’m lucky to get a sale or two a day. If I sell the inventory and the building, I’ll make five times what I just spent on the rink,andI get to keep my friends. I’ll pay the cost every day if that’s what it takes, as long as someone tosses me one of Mo’s oldassistant coachshirts so I feel usefulduring practice.”

I’m pretty sure every fucking skater in the room is crying, but they’ll all swear they just have allergies later.

The fissure is gone, no longer an endless depth but a scarring wound where flesh regenerates.

We will heal.

All of us.

EPILOGUE

NIA

It’s overwhelming how right everything feels. My heart is swollen, bursting out of my ribcage from the love in this room. This is my family, they’ve always been, even when I ran away because I couldn’t fathom the idea of being broken to the Dames, they still took me back after all the heartache.

And in the end, I broke in front of them anyway.

I give Harvey a kiss before standing, and seeking out the one person I’m still undeserving of.

“You look...” Kade stops, giving me a once over and choosing their words carefully. “Alive.”

“That’s about as good as I can offer.” I smile.

“That’s enough.” They nod; it feels like forgiveness, but I know it’s not.

Because I haven’t asked for it yet.

“I’m sorry.” The words sound disingenuous, but I mean it with every fiber of my being.

I just can’t muster the energy to perform right now.

“I am too. I should have done more.” They tuck blue hair behind their ears, uneasy as always.

“No. Don’t take responsibility for my mess. It wasn’t your job to fix my shit. It certainly wasn’t your job to tolerate it, and I’m sorry I broke your trust.” It’s the truth. “I should have been honest with you.”

They nod. “Tolkien misses you.”

“I miss him too,” I admit with a soft smile. “I think I’m going to stay with Cat, though.”

“Oh?” Kade raises an eyebrow, waiting for more juicy details.