Page 104 of False Start

Predictable is good right now.

Predictable is safe.

When I get home, her car is already there, but when I open the door, the lights are off. “Babe?” I shout into the living room. “Let’s go!” Anytime she asks me to meet her at home before heading to Skateland is so that we don’t have to deal with the chore of two separate cars.

I assume today is no different.

“Babe?” I call out again when I don’t hear her.

Walking all the way in and shutting the door behind me, I head deeper into the apartment. I open the door to our room to find her dropping rose petals on the bed. With a sigh, I tell her, “You’re so romantic.”

She jumps only slightly from the surprise, and I realize she’s got earbuds in. Harvey pulls one out of her ear and grins before pulling the other one out too.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Well, my girlfriend is like seventeen weeks sober today, so a celebration was in order.” That cocky grin fills her face up like she’s so proud she was able to pull off a surprise without me finding out.

It’s not that I don’t like surprises—it’s that I’malwayscapable of figuring them out before she completes them.

“I don’t think that’s a milestone.” I laugh as she brings me into her arms. “They don’t make a chip for seventeen weeks.”

“Well, good thing you’re not in a program then.” Her lips press into mine, and I melt.

A program wasn’t for me. The entire nature of it was far too nonsecular for my taste, and I couldn’t separate it. Couldn’t put everything in the hands of a God I don’t believe in. The first meeting I stepped into with Kade at my side, we both looked at each other in horror once they broke outin prayer. We snuck off before anyone noticed us, and from that moment on, I decided to find something that worked for me.

Thereisn’ta manual, and what might have worked for someone is certainly not a guarantee to work at all for me. I ended up coming clean to the team, feeling a mixture of relief and shame balled up together, and in the end, I only felt silly for not relying on them sooner. I wasn’t met with judgment or criticism, but with more support and love than I could have ever expected. I have friends—the family Ichose—who I will fight for.

I don’t need to give it up to some higher power to stay sober when I can give it up to this incredible woman instead.

Theonlyone I get on my knees for.

“Thank you,” I whisper anyway as our kiss breaks, grateful for a partner who is proud of every little accomplishment I bring home.

I think she’d hang me on a shelf if she could.

I’ve never been anyone’s trophy.

Not until her.

The End