Page 19 of Falling for You (Balsam Cliffs #2)

I wake up and stretch out, hitting a warm, hard body next to me. Suddenly I’m hit with a memory of telling Roman about the miscarriage last night. And falling asleep in his arms with Olivia.

Oh shit. I hope I didn’t roll over on her. I throw the sheets back looking around the bed when Rome wakes up.

“What happened?” He has no idea what is going on but he joins me in looking through the sheets.

“Olivia!”

“She’s in her crib, Sunshine. I just gave her a bottle a couple hours ago, she’s asleep.”

“Oh, thank God.” My hand flies to my chest. “I thought we crushed her in our sleep.”

I let myself fall back to the pillows and he pulls me into his side. “I put her to bed after you both fell asleep.”

I roll to face him, placing some distance between us. “I’m sorry about last night, for just dumping all that on you.”

“Sunshine, you never have to apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry. I left you to deal with that alone.”

“I didn’t tell you, Rome. Don’t beat yourself up over something you didn’t know.” I give him a sad smile, and sit up to swing my legs over the side of the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to go meet the girls for coffee. Willow got back into town with Gunnar last night for the show, remember?” I lied about the coffee. But it won’t be a lie for long.

I pull up the group chat and text them.

Me: Need coffee. And my girls. Meet at Emerald Roasters in twenty?

“Oh, okay. I’m leaving around eleven to go meet Wayne and Diane for Olivia’s overnight visit. Did you still want to come?”

“Of course. I’ll be back.” I walk to the door before pausing, “Rome, I didn’t mean what I said last night. I know that you wanted to tell Hunter before you knew. So. The ball is in your court.”

With that I walk into the bathroom and sigh heavily. My phone buzzes in my hand.

Violet: Oooh I’m already here dropping off pastries. I’ll snag a cherry chocolate donut for you, sounds like you might need one.

Willow : What is wrong with you two? It’s like six a.m., normal people sleep for another three or four hours.

Violet: Shut up and get dressed. She has gossip about you-know-who and I will not miss it because you decided to wake up G for an orgasm. angry emoji

Me: Please? I’ll buy you coffee and tell you everything.

Willow: Finnneeee. But I want a double shot of espresso, and a Boston creme waiting for me. And you better not leave one freaking detail out.

I get ready and make it out to my Jeep in record time without another interaction with Rome. I peeked in on Olivia before I left to listen to her sweet little baby snores.

I can’t find a spot by the coffee shop so I take the parking spot at the end of Main Street and walk down the sidewalk, waving to everyone I know like I’m not about to tell my girls about my worst moments, opening myself up for the third time.

I push open the door, and Franklin greets me with a wave and a promise of my usual favorites.

I spot the girls and they practically pull me down into the booth.

My phone buzzes on the table.

Rome: I want you to know that I’m here for you, Sunshine. Whatever I can do for you, whatever you need, I’m here.

Willing my tears to stay, I lock my phone, not answering him.

“Okay, spill it. Why did I have to get up with the damn sun?” Willow rolls her eyes dramatically.

I rehash my story that I told Mom the other day while the girls' faces vary from shock to sadness.

“Oh Ems, why didn’t you tell us?” Willow reaches across the table.

“Because you know the feeling too well. I wasn’t going to burden you with my own shit.” Her face falls, and she quietly nods in understanding.

“Em, if I had known…” Violet chimes in before I cut her off.

“If you’d known, you would have smothered me.

My brother would have caught on and then I’d have to tell my whole story to everyone.

I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t do it then.” Violet opens her mouth to respond but I cut her off once again.

“And I don’t want my brothers to know. Any of them. ” I stare pointedly at each of them.

They might be my best friends but they’re both engaged to a Keaton. I’m not stupid enough to think their loyalty won’t lie with my brothers if they push.

“We’d never share your story, Ems,” Violet reassures me.

They both wrap their arms around me.

“Enough about me.” I swipe at the tears.

“Will, are you ready for the show tonight?” They both exchange a glance wondering if I’m really good or not.

I just dropped a bomb on them, and now I’m moving on like nothing has happened.

“I’m fine. Please can we move on? I told you, and I don’t want to dwell on it anymore.

I just needed to get out of the house. Away from Rome.

So please tell me about the show and give me the distraction I need. ”

Willow smiles, she knows all too well how I feel and I’m thankful that she’s here with me. “Well I have the best hot pink sequin dress, it makes my ass look ahhhh-mazing!”

“Pictures, now.” Violet leans in over the table.

I get a solid two hours with my girls before I need to head back to make sure that Olivia is packed and ready for her first sleepover with the Ryans.

Since Willow is here for a show, Rome asked them if they wanted to keep her for the night so that we could all go to the show and I wouldn’t have to miss out, or Mom. They were all too happy to take her.

“Okay girls, nanny duty calls.” I stand and push my chair in, grabbing my purse off the back.

They each give me a hug as we part ways to our cars and I’m already running through the mental list of things that Olivia needs as I open the driver’s side door.

When I get home, Rome is laying on the floor with Olivia doing tummy time.

“Hey! You’re back.” He looks at Olivia and speaks to her, “We missed our Sunshine, didn’t we Livvy girl?”

She giggles and coos, a sound that pulls me over to the two of them.

I lay on my stomach, on the other side of the mat from Rome. “Hey, pretty girl.” I reach out to caress her chubby cheek covered in drool.

“I think she might be teething.” As if on cue, she shoves her pudgy fist in her mouth, gnawing away.

Giggling, I look over at him, “I think you’re right. Is she all set for tonight?”

“Should be. I packed her following the list you made.” He shrugs as best he can laying on the ground.

“I’ll go double check.” I push up off the ground and start down the hallway when he catches up.

He reaches out and grasps my arm to stop me. “Sunshine, are we…is this weird now? I don’t want it to be weird. I want my Sunshine back.”

I avoid looking at him, “It’s not weird, Rome. I… I want you, and I don’t want to hide it anymore. I want you out in the open, and I’m struggling to find a way to not want that and to grieve at the same time.”

“Look at me, please.” I hesitantly turn to face him over my shoulder. “I’m going to make it right. We will have the future that we dreamed about. I promise.”

I nod and he releases my arm. I continue on to Olivia’s room without looking back, but I can feel his eyes on me, my skin pebbles at the realization.

Things didn’t get better on the ride to drop off Olivia, or on the ride to the brewery before Willow’s show. We’re both holding back, being quiet and less affectionate. But tonight I’m cutting loose with Violet as we hammer back the Orange Dreams beer Rome made that tastes like an actual mimosa.

As Willow starts her new set, Vi and I are both feeling a little buzzed, just enough to let loose and have some fun, but not so drunk I’ll regret the long drive to get Olivia tomorrow.

Everyone has a table off to the side of the dance floor to watch Willow but Violet and I wanted to be up front and on the dance floor so we are standing up by the small stage that Rome had built for the brewery to host live music.

After a few songs I can see out of the corner of my eye that a couple guys are inching closer to us.

I catch Violet’s eye and nod in their direction, she nods back that she sees them too so we head over to the table with my parents and brothers.

I do not want to get entangled with a situation where drunk guys are a little too handsy and all my brothers are sitting here watching, especially with one of their fiancées.

“Thank God you two left, I thought Liam was about to go to jail if those guys didn’t back the fuck up.” Hunter laughs.

“Please, like you weren’t keeping an eye on the one with their sights set on Ems.” Liam rolls his eyes at Hunter because we all know that’s the truth.

Hunter is the most protective of me and usually gets all the others in on it.

He claims that as the oldest, by two minutes, he has to be the protective one.

I obviously could do without the protective older brothers, or at least a little toned down would be great.

“I don’t need my big brothers to protect me from some handsy asshole at a bar. Also, we don’t even know if he was an asshole. You don’t ever give anyone the chance to prove if they are either way.” I narrow my eyes at all of my brothers.

The skin on the back of my neck prickles and I know for a fact that Roman is behind us, privy to this whole conversation.

“Rome will back us up.” Gunnar nods at him. “Tell Ems that it’s our job as older brothers to protect her from assholes, and that we don’t need to let them prove that they are assholes because we just know that no one is good enough.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. It’s totally apparent that those guys are assholes. Look, they're already with other girls.”

I don’t miss that he doesn’t quite agree with G that it’s his job to protect their baby sisters. I smile at him as he turns to look back at the table from seeking out the guys in question.

“Okay guys, let’s leave Ems alone. She has a right to get her flirt on. But she can’t bring them home,” Wyatt semi-defends me.

“That’s why you’re my favorite, Wy. And your crib skills are top notch.” He puffs his chest out and smiles at me.

“Yeah, you’re definitely not fucking bringing them home.” Rome scowls.