Page 16 of Falling for You (Balsam Cliffs #2)

“No. It’s okay. People are going to find out eventually right?

She needs to make her grand debut to Balsam Cliffs sometime.

Might as well rip the Band-Aid off. But you shouldn’t have to do it alone.

I can go and drop you off with your Mom then I’m going to go to the brewery for a bit to get caught up from yesterday.

” He places Olivia down on the blanket I set up for her last night for tummy time and runs up the stairs.

“Ok, Emma. You can do this.” I give myself a pep talk to get through this. Nothing like a morning of acting like a little family to remind me of what I’ve lost.

My nerves are getting the best of me the closer we get to Emerald Roasters.

My palms are sweaty and tingly. Not only will this be the first time people are seeing Olivia, but also I’m there with them.

Having to explain that I’m just the nanny is not going to quell people’s overactive imaginations in this town.

Roman pulls into a parking spot in front of the coffee shop. Both of us pause before jumping out.

I reach over the center console to put my hand on his forearm in support, “This is going to be okay.”

He grunts. “I just don’t want to be the center of the gossip.”

He stares straight ahead at the coffee shop, the people milling around town. This is a very public statement we’re about to make. Emerald Roasters is the spot everyone stops at before going in to work for their coffee and pastry from Margaret.

Taking a deep breath he opens my car door and walks back to open the door to get Olivia out.

I hop out, and wait at the front of the truck with the diaper bag. He loops the car seat on his arm and stands next to me.

“I think I’m ready.” Shutting the door, he comes to join me.

I push the door open and the three of us step through as every single pair of eyes falls to us.

Rome leans down to whisper in my ear, placing his lower hand on my back. “Now or never, Sunshine.”

I step forward, out of his touch. We don’t need anything fueling the rumor mill today. I spot Mom at our corner table and walk over to meet her with Roman following me. He places Olivia’s seat on the table, and stands tall to face Momma.

“Good morning, Mimi K. You taking care of my girls today?” Her eyebrow quirks up at his plural use of girls and so does mine.

“Sure am, sweet pea. Who’s taking care of you today?”

“I’m just running to the brewery to get some work done that I missed last night. I’ll be alright.”

She eyes him, the look only a concerned mother can give. “I’ll send my boy on by at lunchtime to make sure you eat something, okay?”

His back goes rigid. “Sure. I’d be happy to see Hunt.” He gives her a tight smile.

“Well, I gotta go, just wanted to drop these girls off and get the baby rumor started.” This time we get a real smile, he leans down to place a kiss on Olivia’s head.

Then he places a kiss on my cheek. No matter how brief it was, I know there are a lot of sets of eyes on us right now.

Including Mom’s. Her eyes are wide as she takes us in.

He lifts his lips from my cheek and stops to stare in my eyes. He mouths, “I’m sorry,” before pulling back completely and making quick work of running out to his truck.

“Yeah. Nanny my old ass.” Esther snorts as soon as he’s gone. I whip around to face her, “Don’t worry that pretty little head, I won’t say a word. Only because it’s you though.”

“Esther,” I warn.

“I said I wouldn’t. Sheesh. Don’t need to protect your man from me.” A sly smile takes over her face.

Shit. This is not going how I thought it would. I collapse into the chair at the table with Mom.

“Well that was quite the morning show.” She smiles at me over the lip of her mug.

“I don’t know why he did that. We aren’t a thing anymore … because of Hunter.” I roll my eyes and pull Olivia out of the car seat, bouncing her on my knee to hopefully keep her awake until her next nap time.

The schedule from Diane shows a very different sleep pattern than what she’s currently got going on. And I’m determined to fix it by following what she’s used to.

“Give me that baby girl, and tell me what is actually bothering my baby girl. Because I know it wasn’t a kiss on the cheek that happened after you called me.” She narrows her eyes, like she’s looking right through to my soul.

I slouch back exasperated by the morning, that feels like it’s already been a whole day. “She doesn’t sleep. Mrs. Ryan said she does, and there’s a schedule that shows she does, but she doesn’t.” I yawn while talking, as if my body is emphasizing this point.

“Oh that’s easy, isn’t it baby girl?” She nuzzles noses with Olivia.

“First we do a warm bath with low lighting, some lavender bubbles to calm us down. Then we get into our nice cozy jammies with the nightlight on, and rock while we eat our bottle, listening to some calming noises. Then right before you’re about to fall asleep, we put you in your crib.

The key is to keep the lights low this whole time. ”

I type furiously into my notes app on my phone. Ready to try everything I can before bedtime tonight.

“So I need bubbles, more jammies, a nightlight and a crib. This won’t be too hard.

” I sigh exasperated at the amount of stuff Olivia needs.

“Do you think Liam would build a crib? Or I should just buy one. We need it tonight. Think he’ll put it together?

I should probably check to see what kind Roman wants.

Or I should just do it so we have it ready to go, maybe… ”

Mom cuts off my rambling, “I’m sure all the boys would help with whatever I tell them to help with. Would you like me to go to Portland with you so we can hit the big stores and spoil this baby girl rotten?”

“Yes, please. A day with my mom sounds perfect.” I reach and grab her hand in thanks.

She studies my face, scrutinizing every reaction, and movement. “What else is wrong? I know there’s something.” She narrows her eyes.

I look around us, the early morning rush seems to have thinned out, I lean in to her, “I had a miscarriage in March, Mom.” Tears well in my eyes. “Rome had said last night that this should be us with the baby, and I never even told him that it almost was.”

Mom immediately gets out of her chair and drags it over to me, wrapping her arm around me. “Oh honey. Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay?”

“Physically, yes. Emotionally, no. I thought I was. I thought I could shove it all down and keep it in, but now, with Olivia, it’s all coming back.

” The tears fall freely down my cheeks and Momma rubs my back while Olivia blows raspberries at me from her lap.

“I know I need to tell Rome. I just don’t know how.

And now with everything—all that’s going on, I can’t. ”

“I agree that he needs to know, but I’m worried about you. What can I do for you? How can I help you?” She looks in my eyes, roaming my body like she’s trying to find any physical pain, but she won’t find any. Just my mental pain.

She is exactly what I didn’t know I needed. “Just spending the day with me and helping me learn how to care for a baby while grieving my own is what I need, Mom.”

She hugs me, squishing Olivia with us, who giggles as my hair tickles her cheek. Her giggle makes me smile as we pull apart.

“Shall we shop til we drop?” Mom asks. She’s always been good at knowing when to push, and when to just give me love. I’ve never been so grateful for that now. One of the main reasons I didn’t tell my family is I didn’t want them to treat me like I would break at any second.

“Yes!” I shout.

Olivia coos up at Mimi K as she lays her back in her car seat.

“I’m going to order us two coffees to go, you get this sweet girl all settled.” She walks over to order from Esther.

“Are you ready to get spoiled?” I sweet talk Olivia as I clip her in and wrap her blanket around her legs.

She blows more raspberries in response with a smile on her face.

And I feel the same joy about spending the day with my Mom, spoiling this girl who I feel a connection to, maybe it’s because of our losses. She lost a mom, I lost a baby.

Together we make a perfect match. And maybe somewhere, my baby has a perfect match with her mom. Two moms just taking care of each other’s babies.

“Jesus, I could have built one of these things from the wood in my shop faster.” Liam and Hunter are both sprawled out on the floor in Olivia’s room with approximately one thousand pieces of a crib laid out around them.

“I thought about asking you to do that but I needed it for her tonight.” I bounce Olivia on my hip.

“There is still time,” Hunter chimes in studying the directions that come in nine different languages and none of them make sense.

Wyatt walks into the room. “Look out boys. I just put together an Ikea desk at work, and not to brag, but it only took me three shifts.”

He steps through the maze of crib pieces and snatches the directions out of Hunter’s hands. Before this can get heated between the three of them I make the decision to head downstairs to help Mom make dinner.

I pass through the living room and see Cooper passed out on the couch with his arm over his eyes. I’ve never seen him sleep so much, and I’m starting to worry about him. He’s one of the quieter brothers, but he still has his moments and there’s something missing from him right now.

Mom is already in the kitchen cooking chicken tacos so I stand with my hip leaning on the counter with Olivia snuggled into my arms. I’m rocking her in hopes she’ll start to fall asleep so I can place her in the pack and play next to Cooper for her afternoon nap.

Mom told me to put her down sleepy, but not asleep. So that’s what I’m going for.

“She’s getting sleepy. You’ve done well sticking to her schedule today.”

I look at Olivia, wondering how the hell she knows that when Olivia rubs her little eyes and lets out a little yawn.

I’m taking this chance. I grab a pacifier from the tray on the kitchen table, and take it with us to the pack and play. I lay her down, and pop in the pacifier, rubbing her head until her eyes start to flutter closed.

Once I feel like she’s close to falling asleep and good to lay on her own, I stand over her, watching as she drifts off to sleep.

Her breaths even out and she stops fidgeting with her own fingers.

A smile comes to my face watching her sweet self sleep and I’m tempted to scoop her up and snuggle her once more.

Even if Mom would pop my hand with that wooden spoon for not listening to her.

I turn back to the kitchen to help, thankful that the living room is open to where we are so I can still hear her and see her.

“She’ll be okay, honey.”

“I know, I’m just … what if I lose her too?” I shake my head, “I’m going to either way. I’m not her mom, I’m just the nanny.”

Mom gives me a sad smile. “It’ll work out with him, honey. I know it. You two are meant to be together.”

“Who is Ems meant to be with?” Hunter’s voice booms from behind me, making me jump.

“Shh! Olivia is sleeping!” I admonish him.

He leans toward Mom and I and whispers, “Who are you meant to be with?”

“No one. Stop. Why aren’t you building a crib?” I narrow my eyes, “And you don’t need to whisper, just talk like a normal human being.”

“Superman Wyatt has this shit figured out like he’s some goddamn NASA engineer.” He rolls his eyes, pissed that Wy got it and he didn’t. “Hey, I was thinking, could you guys help me with something that’s not really in my wheelhouse?”

“Like cribs?” I grin at him, happy to give him shit that he’s a construction worker and needed our cop brother to build a pre-made crib.

His face twists, mocking me as he rolls his eyes.

“What do you need help with, baby?” Mom asks him to diffuse our banter.

“I think we need to have a … what are they called? A shower?”

“Are you asking about a baby shower?” I raise my brows at his complete lack of knowledge on women and babies.

“Yeah! One of those, where people register for stuff and then people buy it? Rome needs one. He’s got nothing for a baby, unless you count his stash of beer bottles in the basement.”

“Oh a Sip and See would be so fun!” I nod my head in agreement with Mom.

“A what?” Hunter cocks his head looking at us like we’ve both lost our minds.

“A Sip and See. It’s for when the baby is already here. People come hang out, meet the baby and bring a gift like a baby shower. I think he’d do well getting lots of stuff because of all the nosey nellies in this town. Esther would be happy to spread the word.” Mom explains to Hunter.

“Would it be bad to ask him to host his own Sip and See?” I muse. “I could plan it all, but is it weird to have a baby in the brewery?”

“I don’t think so, families eat there all the time.” Mom shrugs as she pulls a street corn casserole out of the oven.

I pull up the notepad on my phone to start planning.

“Do you think we should keep it a surprise or tell Rome?” I ask Mom and Hunter.

“How are you going to surprise the guy at his own brewery?” Cooper asks from behind me. He must have woken up.

“I don’t know but I bet I could get Clark on board with keeping it a secret. I go there all the time to work on the books. I’ll make up something about having a question on a kitchen order if he catches us.” I shrug. These two are so logical, they are not meant to plan a fun surprise.

“Okay, plan your surprise Ems. But how do we know what he needs?”

I look at Mom. “I think we have someone who can help.”

She smirks at me and the boys. “I know a thing or two.”

“Fuck yeah!” We hear from upstairs. And I rush off to yell at those two because if they wake Olivia up, a crib is the least of their worries.

Before I can get there, my phone buzzes in my hand.

Roman: I’m Olivia’s dad. Officially.