Page 18 of Falling for You (Balsam Cliffs #2)

“What are you doing here?” She asks me with her jaw hung open in shock. “I thought you had a big party coming in tonight!”

“It was a little white lie. I wanted to surprise you. I even brought your favorite from Clark.” I wave the takeout bag in front of her.

“Ooooh. What one? I have too many that he makes.”

Emma is one of Clark’s biggest fans. She makes a big deal out of every new dish he asks her to try.

“He made Birria tacos tonight. With fresh guacamole and salsa.”

The grin spreads across her face, “Did you bring …”

“Fresh made to-go margaritas?” I finish for her. “Sure did.”

“You are my favorite.” She comes down the stairs and I follow her into the kitchen. “Do you think that the tacos will be good until we get her to bed?”

“I’m sure I can make that happen. You go start her bath and I’ll put these in the oven to stay warm.” I lean over to kiss her on the forehead.

She smiles at me and runs up the stairs talking to Olivia about her going right to sleep because she has tacos and margaritas.

The thought that I am going to tell Hunter next time I see him crosses my mind at the same time as the thought about what a lucky son of a bitch I am.

Fi nudges my hand with her nose, licking my fingers.

“I'm lucky to have you too, pretty girl.” I squat down to the floor to pet her. She’s being such a good girl with all the changes, but she’s pretty obsessed with Ems so I don’t think she minds much.

Now that we got Olivia back on her schedule, or should I say Emma got her back on her schedule, everyone is sleeping better. Fiona included. She sleeps directly in front of the crib every night watching over her new best friend.

“Come on girl, let’s go join the bath time fun.” I slap my thigh for her to follow me up the stairs, which she does joyfully, her tongue lolled out to one side.

Once Olivia is asleep in her crib, we head downstairs to eat dinner together. We spend the entire time catching up on all things Olivia.

Cleaning up the kitchen while Emma changes into something more comfortable has me on edge.

Her something comfortable is a set of shorts and a tank top made of silk that seems to glide over her skin with every move.

The tank top constantly threatens to expose more than it should. And it’s hell on my resolve.

“Thanks for cleaning up!” She drops herself into the corner spot of my sectional, my spot.

The smirk on her face is the same one she has when she pushes my buttons on purpose.

I stride into the living room, grinning back at her. I scoop her up in my arms and take my rightful spot on the couch.

“You know this is my spot.” I lay her down next to me, my arm still wrapped around her.

“Still got what I wanted.”

I look down at her, knowing exactly what she wanted.

Hitting play on her favorite show, she snuggles in deeper to my side. I rub circles on her arm with my thumb and the shivers run down her arm.

“This is so…domestic.” She laughs half-heartedly.

“Did you ever think we’d be here? I mean with our own kid, living together, married. Not really here, here.”

Her body goes rigid in my arms and the playful demeanor she had earlier stealing my seat is gone. She sits up, crossing her legs and facing me. I follow suit and sit up too, a feeling of dread takes over when I take in the tears running down her cheeks.

“I…I had a miscarriage.” I stare at her in disbelief. Seconds, minutes pass by but I can’t form a thought.

“When?” I finally manage to choke out.

“In March. I found out I was pregnant right after the Valentine’s Dance, but then I lost the baby as soon as I found out and I … I …” her tears are spilling down her cheeks faster, staining the silk tank top.

“Does everyone… is that why you stayed away? Is that why...” I have too many questions running through my mind.

“No one knows but Mom. And I just told her the other day when we went shopping. Don’t worry Hunt won’t find out.” Her face drops.

I pull her into my arms, “Sunshine, I don’t give a shit about that. I just want you to be okay, you never told anyone then you stayed away from everyone who cared about you for months.” Her tears soak my shirt. “Clearly you are not okay. What can I do?”

“Nothing. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, and that I am telling you after you made this such a good night.

And now I’m just adding to the stress you’re under.

I just… I want… Hearing you talk about how it should be us hurts so much because we were so close to it being us and I just don’t know what to do about it.

But I like to think that Blair is with our baby, while we’re with hers.

It makes me feel better to think that way.

Like she knew I needed Olivia to fill the hole in my heart. ”

I crush my lips to hers. I can’t bear to hear more right now. I just want to take all the pain from her.

I can’t believe she kept this to herself for so long.

I should have been there for her. I should have done something for her, cried with her.

Instead I was here being a fucking coward, afraid to tell my best friend that I’m in love with his sister.

I want to be mad that she didn’t tell me, but the guilt that she did this on her own begins to eat at me. She never should have been alone.

I pull back from her. “I’m going to make everything right, Sunshine. I’m going to tell Hunter right now. I’m going to…”

She places her finger to my lips. “No you aren’t. I don’t want this to be the reason. I want to be the reason. Don’t do anything that you weren’t already ready to do.”

She wipes a tear from my cheek, I didn’t realize that I was crying along with her.

“What can I do?” I whisper to her. I want to fix everything for her. I want to take away all her pain about the baby, about Olivia, about all of it.

“Just this, Stud. Just hold me.” I squeeze her tight. If this is what she needs, I’m here to do it.

Until we hear Olivia crying from her room.

She’s been sleeping so well, it’s almost as if she can sense the emotions from us. “I’ll go get her,” I offer, but Emma is already getting up.

“I got it. Don’t worry. I need to take care of her right now.”

My mind is racing with Emma’s revelation and I don’t want to be away from her and Olivia right now.

I go off to Olivia’s room in search of my girls. I find her sitting in the rocking chair, looking at Olivia and crying. Olivia is whimpering and not settling.

“I think she knows we’re upset. I tried to not be around her. But looking at her sweet little face just makes all of it hit me all over again.”

“Come on,” I take Olivia in one arm, and lace my other hand with Emma’s.

I tug them along into my room and settle us on my bed, turning on the show we had started in the living room.

We snuggle in on my pillows until Emma’s breathing is soft, and Olivia has fallen asleep alongside her. I gently take Olivia back to her room to sleep, and return to Emma.

Everything in my world feels right again to have her by my side. I won’t continue to fuck this up.