Page 19 of Fallen Starboy

Chapter

Fifteen

ARISTA

I layed in bed for an hour, just staring at the ceiling, debating my life choices and the sheer stupidity I’d just exercised by letting myself fall right back into bed with a man I couldn’t ever have a future with.

It was stupid. Reckless. Irresponsible.

It was so fucking good.

Fuck, I could still feel him inside me, stretched and filling and holyfuckingshit ? —

“Get a grip on yourself, girl,” I muttered to myself as I puttered around the kitchen, throwing together something for dinner for the house.

Pujin was in a meeting with the agency at HQ, and the security team he’d left behind was shacked up with takeout in their little mobile unit outside.

I’d offered them food on several occasions, but they always declined, preferring their fast food and quick cleanup to actually intruding on us for a feast.

I couldn’t blame them. Some people could keep work and personal life separate, and were smart about it.

Not me, clearly.

I should have just told the bosses I didn’t feel comfortable taking on the job. Should have insisted I didn’t have time. That I was needed elsewhere. Hell, I could have made up a million and one excuses for why I couldn’t take this job.

So why had I just rolled over in an uncharacteristic show of submission when they told me about it?

Was I not over Kim Seo-Jun?

Of fucking course you’re not. You never stopped loving him. To get over someone, you have to make a conscious effort to close the door on that chapter of your life.

Instead, I just opened it up again

My phone rang as I absently stirred the simmering vegetables, and I reached out and answered it without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

Breathing echoed on the other end of the line as Jun walked in the door, Yejin towing him along as she rambled about her latest lesson and the things she had learned.

He appeared to give her his full attention, but I noticed the subtle shift in his posture, the tensing of his shoulders as he spotted me out of the corner of his eye and did his best to avoid me.

Which was weird.

Jun hadn’t ever been one to shy away from an awkward situation. And I mean, it’s not like he forced me to fuck him. He’d been right: I fell eagerly back into his bed, despite knowing better than to get involved.

“Hello?” I tried again, hoping to stimulate the other end of this call into conversation. “Is someone there?”

“You were warned,” the voice rasped, then the line went dead.

I stared down at my phone in bewilderment and confusion. “The fuck was that about?”

“That’s a bad word,” Yejin piped up out of nowhere, her little smile lighting up the room as she climbed onto a stool and peered into the skillet. “But you’re an adult, so you’re allowed.” She wrinkled her little nose and inhaled the scent of dinner. “Smells like home.”

I froze as she hopped back down and returned to her conversation with her father, like the whole interaction had been nothing more than a blip on her radar. But out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

Smells like home.

Such an innocent comment, and yet so very much loaded with potential.

The dish was simple, and true enough, it was Korean in nature: japchae, a stir fry of vegetables, beef, and glass noodles in a soy-based sauce.

Savory and yet a hint of sweetness, the dish was one that I’d grown fond of while I lived in Seoul.

And I made it about once a month or so, even when I lived alone.

It hadn’t even been a conscious decision to pull it out and cook it tonight.

I had the ingredients, and I’d planned to make it later in the week, anyhow.

Now, it felt almost performative.

“Japchae?” Jun asked softly, his eyes lifting momentarily from our daughter to meet mine as I stared in shock. “You still know how to make it?”

I shrugged, suddenly very self-conscious. “Minseo would kick my ass if I’d forgotten what he taught me.”

My heart ached as the little knives of our shared past dug a little deeper, twisted a tiny bit more in light of the skills one of our mutual friends had taught me in order to make Jun happy.

I’d asked him to teach me Korean cuisine so that I could cook for Jun’s birthday.

Insisted he teach me how to pluck out a song on a guitar so that I could play something for him as he blew out his candles.

I’d been so in love with him it hurt just thinking about it.

“I love japchae!” Yejin exclaimed as she spun in her seat, eyes wide and tongue lolling out her mouth like an eager puppy. “Uncle Minnie makes the best japchae.”

“I hope mine lives up to the hype,” I muttered politely, reaching for a bowl to serve it in. I forgot all about that strange phone call as I set the food down and passed out bowls of rice, eager to have an excuse not to talk to anyone.

Jun picked at his dish, but Yejin ate with gusto, shoveling it down so fast I worried she might choke on it. When she asked for seconds, the joy I felt, the validation, was new to me. I’d fed coworkers and friends before, but nobody had ever appreciated it like she did.

“Daddy,” she said between mouthfuls, pointing at him with her fork. “Do you like Miss Arista’s food? I think it’s better than Uncle Minnie’s.”

Jun laughed awkwardly. “You’d better not let your Uncle Minnie find out you said that.”

“The student must eventually surpass the teacher, right?” I smiled at the thought of Minseo eating his own words.

Once upon a time, he’d insisted I’d never master the dish.

I always made it too sweet, or not sweet enough, he’d say.

Funnily enough, he was the only one who ever complained, and even then, he still ate it.

There were never any leftovers.

Jun’s laughter was awkward and stilted, and it set my teeth on edge to hear him force it in front of Yejin for the sake of normalcy.

I picked up my bowl of rice, shoveled a bit of the japchae onto the top, and excused myself to my room to work.

In reality, I was running away. Hiding. I was a coward.

I realized belatedly that I’d left my phone on the counter, but there was no way I was going down to retrieve it until I heard Yejin and Jun’s doors close for the night.

I waited for hours, scrolling through the schedule the company had sent to me for approval and revision, if necessary, trying—and failing miserably—to pretend everything was fine. Just as I heard the door across the hall close, a knock at my own shook me from my absent-mindedness.

Shit.

I almost opened my mouth to let whoever it was know to come in, but then the pain of being essentially booted from his room after serving my purpose returned in a flash, and bile rose in the back of my throat.

I shuffled across the room with my tablet in hand and opened it a bit, staring blankly at Jun as he stood there and stared right the fuck back.

“Oh. Hi.”

He glanced over my shoulder in my room, his eyes narrowed a bit. “You gonna let me come in?”

I glanced back at the state of disarray of my room and frowned. “No.”

Annoyance tainted his voice as he huffed, holding his hand out to me. It took me a minute to realize he was holding my phone.

He brought my phone up to me.

I took it and offered him a tight smile. “Thanks.”

“I put away the leftovers, and tossed the dishes in the dishwasher.” As if I’d thought he might not. Was he looking for validation? Appreciation? “So, I?—”

“Sorry, Jun, but unless it’s important, it’ll have to wait.

I’ve gotta go through this week’s schedule and get it back for final approval by the company by morning.

” I didn’t wait for a response as I shut the door in his face and bit my bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to drag him back into my room so I could ask him to defile me again.

Which was exactly why I had to shut the door on that idea, and fast.

My phone vibrated in my hand, and I sighed, flipping it open as Liaison Dept flashed across the screen.

“Rizzo here.”

“Rizzo, we’re drowning over here without you.” Of course, Tanner, with no preamble, no greeting, right into the heart of things. “When do you come back?”

I sighed. “As soon as they let me. Steele put me on translator duty and assistant staffing for the foreseeable future. I’m working on finding him staff to replace me as quickly as I can.”

“Good.” Tanner took a short breath, and I sighed.

There was more, I knew there was, but he wouldn’t actually come out and tell me unless I asked. “Tanner? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

I could practically hear the panic whoosh out of him. “Oh my god, Rizzo, there’s a new client on deck that we’re struggling with. She’s not happy with anything we offer, and she’s changed liaisons three times now. I’m worried we’ll lose her if we can’t lock her down.”

I thought back over the list of clients we’d been planning to work, remembering the one I told them to be careful with. “Mi-Soo?”

“That’s the one. She’s been really giving us a run for our money the last week, and I’m worried she’s thinking about pulling out of the contract.”

I frowned. “How many more days are on her probationary contract period?” If we could keep her happy long enough, she’d be locked in and we could relax a little.

But with Mi-Soo, we’d signed a feel it out contract, allowing her to see if she wanted to stay with our company or seek elsewhere.

She wasn’t blacklisted, per se, so she had options.

But her cousin had just joined our ranks, and he’d insisted she give it a shot.

If I’d known she was so damn difficult, I’d have told him no thank you. But she was a looker, and we needed some new models in our ranks.

“I’ll have to check, but I think she’s got a few days left. Maybe three?”

“And I assume she’s aware just how many days she has left to make her decision with us.

” Because if she did know, it wouldn’t surprise me if she was trying to push to see how far we’d bend until we broke.

“I tell you what, Tanner. Leave her to me. I think we’ll be close enough with tomorrow’s schedule to run into each other. Maybe I can work some magic for you.”

“Oh my god, that would be amazing, Rizzo. You’re the literal best!” Tanner didn’t waste time waiting for me to sign off. He just hung up and that was that.

And now I was back to doing two jobs in a mad dash to prevent the department I wanted to head from imploding while I was busy elsewhere. As if life wasn’t already hard enough.

I wanted off this damn ride.