Page 17 of Fallen Starboy

Chapter

Thirteen

ARISTA

I was losing my damn mind. “Jun,” I pleaded, trying to rationalize with this feral man who looked like he might unhinge his jaw and eat me at any moment. “What about Yejin?—”

“She’s fine.” His long fingers wrapped effortlessly around my ankles and held me tight as he knelt on the floor at the end of the bed, those dangerous hands moving up my legs to rest on my knees. “You never worried about her before. Don’t start now.”

A wave of fresh regret slammed into me with his words. Here I was, about to let the man who hated me most in this world take my clothes off for a midday romp in the sheets. I searched around for my pride, but found none.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

It’d been so long since I’d let a man touch me—he’d been the last. And here I was, on my back on his sheets, prepared to throw all my common sense to the wind and let him fuck me senseless.

What was wrong with me?

His eyes followed the line of my legs until they disappeared into my skirt, and the feral grin that spread over his face was nothing short of panty-melting. Once upon a time, he’d looked at me like that all the time. Now, there was an edge of malice in that grin that made me hesitate.

But like the whore she was, my pussy responded to his gaze as it raked over me again, drinking me in like a tall glass of water on a hot summer’s day.

Gods, how I wanted this man even still.

“Your legs look better than I remember,” he whispered, his hand trailing up the inside of my knees, teasing the sensitive skin there.

“Well, I’m not seventeen anymore,” I pointed out dryly, rolling my eyes to break the intense gaze he leveled on me. “I’m sure parts of you are different now, too.”

His grin widened. “Only in the ways that matter.”

With that, he let those fingers move further up my body, snaking under my skirt to grip the edges of my panties. With a flick of his wrist, he had them down my legs and tossed across the room, only the thin fabric of my skirt hiding me from his gaze.

I shuddered in anticipation.

“Hold still.”

My skin prickled under his touch, the tickling sensation of his skin against mine familiar and foreign in the same heartbeat. Nothing about this was the same as the boy I’d left behind, and yet . . .

And yet it was like coming home.

I breathed a sigh of regret for the missed time as those talented fingers crawled back up my thighs, curling around the edges of my hips as he tugged me even closer still.

My skirt hiked up, baring me to his gaze, and I felt the warmth of a blush crawl up my throat as I turned away from his intense stare.

I couldn’t hide from his chuckle, though.

“You’re hiding from me,” he teased, his smile evident even in the tone of his voice. “Not so brave anymore, are you?”

“Fuck you,” I spat, hating that I felt the need to shield myself from this man. I wasn’t some pathetic coward. I had a backbone, and damn it, I wouldn’t let him make me feel shameful about taking advantage of a mutual attraction.

With new resolution in my soul, and a fire banked in my blood, I propped myself up on my elbows and stared him in the face, refusing to look away no matter how warm my cheeks got. I wanted to wipe the smirk of victory off his pretty fucking face.

He beat me to it, though, when he spotted the scar on the inside of my hip, exposed to the room’s dull light.

His finger traced the long, faint reminder of how close I came to losing everything, once upon a time. “How did you get this?”

I couldn’t tell him his previous label had sent someone after me to kill me and his daughter.

I wouldn’t hurt him like that, no matter how badly he hurt me with his misunderstandings.

His peace and security relied on me holding fast to the lies I’d built up around me, specifically to keep them both safe.

So I did what I had become an expert at doing to myself, and I lied.

“Car accident a few years ago.” I tossed my hair back and sighed. “No need to pretend to be concerned on my behalf.”

“I’m not,” he said suddenly, almost angry in his intensity. “Just curious.” His gaze returned to my pussy as he spread my legs, lowering himself between them with single-minded intent.

My blush returned as he closed his eyes and inhaled my scent like some sort of wild animal.

“Jun . . . “

“You smell like everything I’ve wanted for years.”

As far as confessions went, that one wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. Neither was the feel of his tongue on my clit as he fell to eating me out instantly, working my body like a seasoned pro.

A twinge of envy went through me as his tongue curled around my sensitive nub, unable to hide my curiosity as to where he learned a move like that.

When he slid two fingers deep inside my soaked cunt, I let out a moan and my eyes rolled into the back of my head, searching for absolution from the way I let my thighs fall apart in invitation of more.

“Mmm,” he mumbled against me, his lips curling up in a smile between my legs. “I still know how to make you weak for me.”

“Get fucked,” I growled, hating how much I ached for him.

“I’m about to,” he snapped back, yanking his fingers out of me as he moved up my body and caged me in against his sheets. “There’s a condom in my end table. Put it on me.” His eyes burned into my soul. “Wouldn’t want any more accidents between us.”

The tears burned against the edges of my vision as I recalled the words the doctor told me when he put Yejin in my arms after delivery.

You’ll never be able to have any more kids.

“No need,” I gasped, hoping he’d mistake my breathlessness for arousal and not weakness. “I can’t get pregnant.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time you told me you were safe and weren’t,” he pointed out, his words like knives in my soul. And yet, here I was, on my back in his bed, about to let him have his way with me.

Wordlessly, I inched up the bed and reached into his nightstand, yanking out the box of condoms with a grimace. Had he planned to use them on another girl?

It’s none of my business. He’s not mine anymore.

Wordlessly, I pulled a single foil wrapper from the box and tossed the rest away, unwrapping it like I’d done it a thousand times before. In reality, I’d only ever used them once or twice before, with him. Years and years ago.

But it was like riding a bike.

“Are you pulling it out or do I have to?” I stared at his pants as if I could undo them without touching him. Like the condom might magically put itself on if I just stared hard enough.

“If you want it, then take it.”

I had never been one to back down from a challenge, but I wasn’t going to lay here on my back and let him play power games with me. I might be his assistant right now, but I was nobody’s puppet.

With a well-placed leg hook move, I rolled us so he was on his back, my skirt hiding my lower half from his eyes as I settled back on his thighs and let my hands trail over his belt.

“You’re the one who dragged me up here to ravish.

” I let my gaze fall to his bulge, which was impressive, now that I was up close and personal.

“But I’m not one to turn down a good time when it’s offered to me. ”

Another lie. But he didn’t have to know that. As long as I kept him at a distance, everything would be okay.

Without another word, I yanked his belt free of the buckle, tore his zipper down, and reached inside his pants like I’d been doing this to men my whole life.

Like I was some experienced pro at it. I didn’t let it phase me that I hadn’t held a dick in my hands in years. Not since his, seven years ago.

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath, gasping for air as he stared up at me. “You handle a lot of dicks in our time apart?”

For the first time since I’d promised myself not to get involved, I slipped up and let the cracks in my wall show.

“Just this one.”

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Before he could process that revelation, I stroked him from hilt to tip, prepping him for the condom. With a flick of my wrist, I had the damn thing over his impressive cock, watching it twitch in my hand as a rush of power flooded my senses.

I’d dreamt of this day for so damn long, and now that the moment was here, all I could do was file away every soft sigh and moan of his for the future.

This wouldn’t be happening again.

“Ride me,” he demanded, staring at my hand on his dick like he’d never seen it in the grip of a woman before in his life. “I like to watch.”

Fuck, why was that so hot?

I groaned and lifted my skirt out of the way, his eyes like a physical presence on me as I inched upward and hovered over his cock, prepared to impale myself on him without remorse.

But it wasn’t like before. I wasn’t prepared for the way he stretched me out, all the way from tip to base, his cock twice the size I remembered.

“Shit,” I whispered, throwing my head back with a groan. “You’re so big.”

“That’s what they all tell me,” he mocked, clearly pleased with himself and his prowess in bed. “But I’ve had no complaints.”

“Well let me be the first.”

He chuckled, and it dissolved into a groan as I shifted my weight on him. “If you can find something to complain about, I’ll be surprised.”

I didn’t bother responding. Instead, I rose on him, falling with grace as I let him fill me up.

Over and over, like a woman possessed, I fucked myself on his shaft, riding him like my life depended on it.

Like I’d spent the last seven years dreaming of this moment.

Like he’d starred in every single one of my wet dreams and solo session fantasies.

Because he had.

Because It was always him. It was only ever him. And it would only ever be him.

There was never going to be another. Not in this lifetime, or the next.

Jun filled me up over and over, stretching me in ways I forgot my body could, making room for himself in a place I’d never let another man even think of being.

With every thrust, he carved his name on my soul, reclaiming his place in my life like he’d never left.

His hands moved to my hips, assisting me as I switched to rocking and bouncing, pushing him against every inch of my insides to feel him everywhere.

I needed to etch him on every part of me. Parts that would only belong to him. So that I would never forget him, even after he was out of my life again.

The tears that formed in my eyes refused to stay silent this time, and with a gasp, I tossed my hands over my face and leaned into it, hoping he’d mistake my sobs for body-shaking ecstasy.

“Fuck, Ari, babe, you’re so good at this,” he moaned beneath me, his hips rocking up to meet mine as I moved, shoving himself inside me as far as he possibly could go. “Been practicing?”

With each word he spoke, I broke apart a little more inside, whether he realized it or not. And the further he pushed, the harder it’d be to come back to myself when this was over.

I should walk away right now. This shouldn’t go any further. But I was too far gone to care, too deep in the delusions and desires I’d locked up for far too long, to pull the plug on this last act of self-gratification now.

I wasn’t strong enough to walk away anymore.