Page 47 of Fake Skating

The words came out of me as we walked down the block, they kept coming when we turned the corner, and I was still talking when we turned around by the elementary school. It was like the freedom to actually say out loud what’d been in my head for months now was fucking intoxicating.

“I hate that so many people are counting on me to fix everything, because what if I don’t?”

She didn’t say anything for a minute after I stopped ranting. She just walked beside me with the snow softly falling, and I wanted to file this image away because it felt important.

So very, very us .

It was the winter version of what we’d done so many summer evenings, walking around and talking.

“You have to know your parents will be fine, right? I mean, they love you and want you to be happy,” she said. “I don’t think you have to win a state hockey championship and go to the NHL in order for them to survive.”

“Dani, they have spent half their lives—and their income—supporting me. Now they’ve been dealt this shitty hand where my dad can’t really work even though he wants to, and the twins want to play hockey, which costs a fortune, and, like, I need to deliver this for them.”

“I know,” she said with a soft smile. “And you will—I can feel it. But if you don’t, everything is going to be okay. It will.”

“How do you know that, though?”

“I don’t,” she said with a shrug. “But I do.”

“Genius,” I said with a laugh, teasingly squeezing her fingers a little too hard. “That’s really fucking genius, Collins. You don’t but you do; that is a brilliant Harvard mind right there.”

“Kiss my ass,” she giggled, hard squeezing back.

“The perfect ass I’m not allowed to talk about?”

The giggles slid into laughter. “Kiss my ass, Vinny’s ass, Oz’s ass—just kiss an ass, Barczewski.”

“Did you seriously come over here just to take me on a walk?” I asked as I noticed we were back on my street.

She shrugged. “It always worked when we were kids. It felt like we could talk about anything when we were doing this route.”

“You’re very wise,” I said, swinging my left arm wide and hard to shoot her body a little forward, ahead of me, the way I always used to when we walked.

“A brilliant Harvard mind right here,” she laughed, stumbling and squeezing my hand, jerking her right arm to bring me right back up with her.

Only she slipped on the dusting of snow, losing her feet entirely. She let out a squeal as she went down, landing on her ass in the snow, and I would’ve laughed at her but she pulled me down with her.

“Shit!” I managed as I landed right beside her (half on top of her), and I laughed while she cackled.

Thank God we had so much snow that it didn’t hurt.

“You okay?” I said, pushing myself up on my arms, leaning over her. “Dani?”

She nodded, laughing as she propped herself up on her elbows. Her eyes were crinkled as she grinned and said, “That was very on-brand for the old Dani and Alec.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” I said, looking down at the face that was just underneath mine, upturned almost as if waiting for me.

The world went still, so quiet that all I could hear amid the dark and snowy night was my own heartbeat.

All I could see were brown eyes, staring up at me.

All I could want were those shiny lips, turned up in an amused pout, her soft breath so fucking close it gave me goose bumps.

I watched her eyes slide over my face, searching, questioning, and I no longer gave a shit about anything other than this moment. I didn’t care about the past or the future, because nothing mattered but the present.

Her.

This.

Fucking us .

I lowered my head and took her mouth, needy. Greedy. I didn’t give a shit about what was fake and what wasn’t, because it was all real to me. This wasn’t part of a game, and it wasn’t for anyone watching.

No, this kiss was ours.

She sucked in a shaky breath, like she was about to dive in, and that sound was the flash point. It felt like something detonated, like the wick that’d been lit a long time ago had finally sizzled up and blown my fucking head off.

“ Fuck , Collins,” I said against her lips, but how could I not curse her when she was so fucking perfect?

She angled her head, my genius , drawing me in deeper, and I was instantly lost in her sweet mouth. My hands found her waist— hate gloves, want skin— while I attempted to consume her. Gluttony wasn’t my goal, but once I had a taste of her kiss, I couldn’t get enough.

More more more more.

Dear God, the way I want her.

Her lips, her tongue, and her apple juice smell were my world as I threw every molecule of my being into the kiss. Not because I was trying to prove something, but because I’d never wanted anything in my life the way I wanted her mouth at that moment.

Give me everything, honey, please, God.

I chased her tongue, nibbled on her lips, fucking ate at her mouth because I just needed more. I felt insatiable, ravenous, feral as she kissed me back, like I’d do anything not to have to stop kissing her.

Because Dani kissed me back like she felt the same.

Her gloved hands weren’t just resting on my face; no, they were purposeful, holding me in place so she could kiss the ever-loving shit out of me, praise Jesus.

“Alec,” she whispered, still kissing me.

“Hmmm.”

“Porch light,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Hmmm?”

“Alec,” she said with a giggle, pulling back. “This house just turned on the porch light.”

I opened my eyes, and the sight of her drowsy grin made me smile. “So?”

“So your neighbor is essentially turning the hose on us,” she said, still giggling as she removed her hands from my face. “We have to go.”

“But I don’t want to,” I admitted, because I was scared that if we moved, we’d never come back to this place again.

“Come on.” Dani scooched away from me, climbed to her feet, then held out her hand. “Let’s go, Barczewski.”

I let her pull me up and lead me over to my door, but I realized when she left me on the porch that I still knew nothing. I watched her walk away under the streetlights, looking like everything I’d ever wanted, but I had no idea what the kiss meant—if anything—or where in God’s name this left us.