Page 19 of Fake Skating

But the more they argued and didn’t get along, the more he behaved as if it was part of the problem. It was like he was jealous of the things that’d mattered to her before him.

“I’m actually at a hockey rink,” I said, smiling as if I’d never wanted to be anywhere more. “I might be helping out the hockey team just to keep my extracurriculars where they need to be for college.”

“Dear God, there’s not anything better than hockey for you to do?” he said disapprovingly, his dark eyebrows down. “I would think something like math club would be far better, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing here where it’s too late for me to join most clubs,” I said.

“So your mother picked a fantastically backward school—got it.”

I didn’t want to have a conversation about his opinions on Southview or my mom, so I said, “How are you doing?”

I wanted to say I miss you , but we didn’t talk to each other like that.

“Everything is going well, Daniella, but something came up that I need to discuss with you. Do you have a minute or should I call when you are not at an ice rink?”

He said it with the same tone he would use if I’d said I was at a circus.

“Actually, I’m waiting around for things to finish, so your timing is perfect. What’s going on?”

“Well,” he said, “I was in a meeting earlier, discussing my potential next assignment, and as it turns out, there is a very good chance that I might end up at Offutt.”

“Really?” Offutt Air Force Base was in Omaha, which was only like a five-hour drive from where we were.

That would be amazing .

Because I hated the reality that I couldn’t see him if I needed to.

I knew he was hard-edged half the time, but he was my dad and I wanted him around.

I wanted him to be able to come to my graduation and I wanted to be able to smell the mix of aftershave and soap that’d always made him seem like the cleanest man on the planet.

So him moving closer was the best news I’d heard in ages. “When will you know?”

“Really it’s less a question of when I’ll know and more a question of when I’ll decide what I want to do.”

“Wait—you get to decide?” I asked with a laugh. “That’s very un–Air Force–like.”

“It’s a complicated situation, but basically there are parties who would really like me in both places, so I kind of have the upper hand. That being said, I want to discuss where you would like me to end up.”

“At Offutt for sure,” I said, looking around to make sure nobody heard what an excited little kid I sounded like. “This is the best news!”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, sort of smiling but maintaining his composure like the officer that he was. “Because if it were simply about location, I’d probably stay here; I like Ramstein.”

It was true—he did.

My mom and I, on the other hand, had not liked Ramstein. Germany had been incredible, but on a daily basis we’d felt a million miles away from everything familiar, stuck on a faraway military base.

“But the opportunity to be with you trumps location,” he said, and warmth shot through me, because my stern father was admitting he missed me. That meant everything.

“Obviously your mother and I will have to carve out the details on how it would work, because it’s too far to do the every-other-weekend type of thing, but I think it’d make sense for you to come live with me at Offutt until school ends.

It’s fine if she wants to run around up there, but you shouldn’t have to be stuck in the tundra just because she’s reliving her childhood, right? ”

I looked at his face on my phone and was confused for a second.

“You can spend the summer with her before you go away to school, once the weather’s nice up there.”

“Wait. What?” I couldn’t be hearing him right.

He wanted me to leave my mom?

“Well, I prefer Germany, but I prefer my daughter’s company more, of course. So if you want to live with me, then I will take the offered assignment. If you want to stay up in Minnesota with your mother, then I will probably re-up my assignment at Ramstein.”

“Those are the only options?” I asked, hating that my voice sounded thick and like I was going to cry. “You’re only coming back to the States if I leave Mom and live with you full-time?”

“There’s no need to get emotional, Daniella; I’m just trying to have a conversation.”

“I’m not emotional,” I said, fully aware of how defensive I sounded. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“It’s simple. I’m happy to leave Ramstein to spend time with you, but if that’s not what you want, I’m probably going to stay here. Does that make sense?”

God, I hated the way my dad always said that. Does that make sense? He never failed to make me feel like a stupid little kid when he threw out those four words.

He was watching me with zero emotion on his face, sternly observing my pathetic attempt at holding mine in. Why couldn’t he ever make things easy? All I wanted was an easy relationship with him, and it felt like all he wanted was the opposite.

Or that he wanted me to prove my devotion to him by hurting my mom.

“Yes, it does,” I managed, lowering my voice to sound chill while I struggled to keep it together.

He couldn’t really be serious about this, could he?

“I know your mother won’t be thrilled with this plan,” he said, “But I think if she knows it’s what you want, she’ll be okay with it. She’s so determined to live with your grandfather that I don’t think she’s focusing on anything else.”

“Um, when do you need to give an answer?” I asked, forcing my face not to fall, hating how high-strung I sounded.

“I’d prefer to knock this out as quickly as possible,” he said, steepling his fingers under his chin like he was having a business conversation and not asking his daughter to tear out her mother’s heart. “Since you just moved there, the pieces should still be simple to reconfigure.”

“I don’t think I can do this to Mom,” I admitted in an almost whisper, trying to blink away the tears that were filling my eyes.

“But you found a way, with me,” he said quietly, and I was shocked by his words and how hurt he looked. Colonel Collins didn’t get hurt; he was a robot.

Wasn’t he?

“That’s not—”

“Sometimes choices aren’t easy, Daniella.”

“I know, but…” I turned the phone away from me, pointing it toward the roof so he couldn’t see me wiping away the tears.

“Okay, so now we’re crying,” he said disappointedly, sighing loudly, and I was glad I couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry if you’re upset, and I’m not going to force you to move. I thought this might be something you’d want.”

My chest was so tight it hurt. “I do want to—”

“No, I don’t think that you do,” he interrupted.

I couldn’t believe I was crying in the middle of a hockey rink, like full-on crying, but I couldn’t seem to stop the emotions as I listened to his voice. He went back and forth between making me feel guilty and making me feel sad; it was an infinite loop that had me in a choke hold.

I kept wiping at my cheeks and trying to get it together, but I felt precariously close to sobbing when I heard him disconnect the call.

And then— shit, shit, shit— I heard voices.

I didn’t have a visual on who was coming or where they were, but I also couldn’t see through my tears. All I knew was that I couldn’t have anyone at this school or on this hockey team see me bawling like a baby at the hockey rink.

I got off the bench and ran for the maintenance closet. I needed to lock myself in a dark room and get my shit together before I saw anyone.

Please be unlocked please be unlocked.

As someone who didn’t cry a lot, I found it alarming how freely the tears were flowing. There was no hiding that I was crying, and there was no stopping my eyes from whatever they were doing.

I reached for the handle— thank you for being unlocked— and opened the door, then quickly slipped inside and shut it behind me.

But I immediately knew I’d screwed up when, even through the tears, I could see that the room was big and bright. Not a closet at all. And it smelled like dirty socks in a heater. I wiped at my eyes and realized I was in a locker room, holy shit .

Thank God no one is in here.

I leaned my forehead against the cold wall and took a big gasping breath, but it came out as a hiccuping sob. I covered my eyes with my hands, giving in to the despair for a second.

“Dani?”

Fuck! I quickly wiped at my eyes before turning around, hoping somehow I didn’t look as bad as I knew I looked.

But when I turned around, my heart sank to my feet. It was Alec.

Oh God.

Not only was I mortified that he was seeing me bawling, but also—dear Lord—he was naked.

Not completely naked—he was wearing black boxer briefs—but his hair was wet and his muscles were everywhere and I could smell his soap or shampoo; he’d obviously just gotten out of the shower, shit shit shit .

“Oh my God,” I said, hating that I was still crying. I could hear the crying in my voice as I muttered, “I’m so sorry, I did not mean to come in here.”

“Dani?” He took quick steps toward me and grabbed my upper arms in his hands, his voice so serious when he asked, “What’s wrong?”

His dark eyes swept over my face, and it felt like he was holding his breath, waiting to hear what had happened.

And I was mortified that it was nothing . No terrible thing had just happened to me, I was just a sad little girl who couldn’t please her dad.

“Nothing. Really, my dad called and… I mean, I’m fine,” I said, sounding like a frog because my throat was so damn tight.

“You’re not, though,” he said, and something about the concern in his voice did the opposite of helping me get myself together.

His concern made me shatter.

“Collins,” he said, almost with a question mark, pulling me into his arms as the stupid tears wouldn’t stop, wrapping himself around me. His hug felt like home, like something I could count on, and there was nothing I could do but snake my arms around his neck and take refuge.

Anyone else in the world, including my mom, would’ve told me all the ways that it was going to be okay, that it was fine and everything was going to be great.

But Alec knew me and the way I felt about my father.

Or at least he used to.

He just hugged me tighter as I attempted to get myself together.

“I’m s-sorry,” I managed to hiccup out after a few more minutes.

The tears were finally stopping, thank God, so I pulled back, wiping my cheeks, and gave him what I knew was a pathetic smile.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said, sniffling, “but thank you for being cool about my little breakdown.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said, his voice scratchy, his forehead creased.

And as he looked down at me with those dark eyes and that impossibly handsome face, I realized that I was still wrapped around his nearly nude body.

“Sorry—” I managed, but when I tried pulling away, I was jerked forward.

“Your necklace,” he said, and I looked down and saw that his chain was tangled up with my necklace. I literally couldn’t pull away from him because we were tied together by jewelry.

“Oh,” I breathed, incapable of more than that, because it was so absurd that my face was literally right next to his neck, which smelled really freaking good— holy shit —and I could feel his breath on my collarbone.

“Hang on,” he murmured into my neck, and then after a second I felt the necklaces separate as he said, “Got it.”

“Thank you, Alec,” I said, looking up at his face but not letting go of his shoulders. Not yet. I was thanking him for more than the necklace, and I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he understood. “I didn’t mean—”

“Whoa!” I heard from behind me in a deep, growly voice. “What the—Barczewski…?”

We both whipped around, and I wanted to die as I saw not only the hockey coach standing there, scowling at us, but three other grown men beside him who stared like they’d just caught us having sex in the locker room.

“What the hell is going on here?” the coach yelled, and we quickly jumped apart.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Alec said, and I was amazed at how calm he sounded.

“Really?” the coach said in a near shout. “Because it looks like there’s a girl in my locker room.”

I said, “I—I accidentally—”

“Dani,” Alec interrupted, his face absent of the kindness I’d seen moments ago. His jaw flexed and unflexed, like he was fighting to hold it together, before he said, “You should go.”

“But—”

“Go,” he repeated, his dark eyes on mine.

“He’s right,” the coach agreed. “You shouldn’t be in here, young lady.”

“I’ll explain what happened,” Alec said to me, but he looked volatile, like he was about to lose his shit.

I nodded dumbly, because what else could I do? I was standing in front of four scowling men and my former friend, who I kind of suspected hated me. I nodded one more time and turned, walking so fast out of the locker room that it was almost a run.

I texted my mom and told her to pick me up as soon as she could, and she said she was on her way, but I felt sick as I realized what I’d done.

The hockey coach was a teacher.

A teacher who’d found me in the boys’ locker room, where one of those boys was changing.

I was in so much trouble.