Page 16 of Fake Skating

“Grandpa’s going to drive you to school today,” my mom said as I walked into the kitchen. “Because I have an interview, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” I replied, though I hadn’t realized it meant having to ride with him .

“You look nice,” I said. “That dress screams ‘I would be an exemplary employee.’?”

“Sure it does,” she said, walking over to pull me into a hug. “I think it screams ‘I don’t know what’s cool anymore,’ but thank you just the same.”

“Anytime. You’re going to totally wow them.”

My phone buzzed.

Ben Worthington: I’ll be at my dad’s tonight if you need anything.

What? I could not imagine any scenario where I’d be needing Mr. Maserati, but also, like, why would he just send me a random text out of the blue? I supposed it was nice that he was checking in, but his message felt a little too familiar when we were basically strangers.

“She’s the best bullshitter I’ve ever met,” my grandpa said, smiling at my mom.

God, he should smile more. He almost looks… nice.

“Ready to go, kid?”

His smile disappeared when he looked at me.

Of course.

“Yes,” I said, sliding my arms into my winter coat.

Yesterday had been pretty uneventful at school (thank God), without any Alec sightings. His name was impossible to avoid because everyone was talking about the bong picture—I wondered how he was handling it—but I hadn’t seen him at all.

Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be so lucky today because it was a B-day: public speaking day.

Not only would I be seeing him, but there was a chance I’d be called upon to give a speech to the entire class.

Please, God, no.

My grandpa turned on a hockey podcast when we got in his truck, which was good because I still hadn’t figured out how to talk to him.

It seemed like we talked around each other a lot, but never directly to each other.

We rode in silence, which was helpful because I started going through my speech in my head, over and over again.

Ms. Sykes had told me I still needed to give the intro speech that everyone else had given at the beginning of the semester, so I was practicing what I’d written out, trying to make myself sound somehow interesting but boring, unremarkable but not mockable.

But the closer we got to the school while I practiced, the more nervous I got.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot, I felt almost dizzy with stress.

“You okay?”

I looked over at my grandpa, who I’d kind of forgotten was there, and he was once again watching like he knew what was going on with me.

I just nodded, unable to speak; that was how close I was to a full-on panic attack.

No. No. No. Not in front of him.

“Just take deep breaths through your nose,” he said, his hawklike gaze on mine. “They always save me.”

Wait. Is he saying…?

I cleared my throat, and all the questions I had must’ve been in my eyes, because he simply said, “I guess you get it from me. Sorry about that.”

He didn’t say anything else, just met my gaze.

And I could tell he wasn’t going to expand on that, which was okay, because it was enough. For the first time since arriving in Minnesota, and in the midst of my panic, I smiled at my grandpa.

“You should be,” I said. “Because this sucks.”

“Like I don’t know that.” He winked and said, “Now get out of the truck and go to school. Just keep breathing and you’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” I said, unbuckling my seat belt with unsteady hands. “Thanks.”

His reminder helped, but only short-term.

Because the minute I walked into speech and saw Alec and his friends, draped across their desks like nothing fazed them, my fingertips felt numb. I breathed in through my nose and took my seat, desperately hoping I wouldn’t get chosen to give my speech that day.

But the universe was clearly out to get me, because Ms. Sykes sat down behind her desk and as soon as the bell rang, she called on me.

“All right, it’s a day full of speeches, so let’s not waste any time. Since one more student needs to give their intro speech, let’s knock that out before moving on. Miss Collins, why don’t you start us out for the day?”

I swallowed and stood, grabbing my notes, praying I wouldn’t do something like pass out or throw up.

I walked to the podium at the front of the class, and my chest felt tight as I looked out at all the faces. Unfamiliar faces that didn’t look especially friendly.

And then I made eye contact with Alec, who just swallowed and stared at me but didn’t even smile.

I took a deep breath, but my heart was beating so fast. I could feel it.

It was too fast.

Too fast.

“My name is Dani Collins,” I said, my voice thin and shaky. “I—”

“Louder, please,” the teacher interrupted, smiling but holding her chin up like she was trying to show me how to project my voice.

But I couldn’t catch my breath.

I knew what this was—I always knew what this was—but it still felt terrifying.

It’s just a panic attack, I told myself, but at the same time I wondered if I needed to go to the nurse or dial 911 because I just couldn’t get a good breath.

Help!

I tried taking another deep breath, but it wasn’t working. A wave of dizziness came over me, and I clutched the sides of the podium and tried it again. “My name is—”

“Ms. Sykes!” Alec yelled, and when my eyes shot to him, he was waving his hand in the air like he desperately needed the teacher’s attention.

“What?” She looked at him like he’d lost his mind and snapped, “Mr. Barczewski, can this wait?”

“I am so sorry,” he said, kind of in my direction but also to her, “but I just got a message that I have to leave early for an appointment, and I really, really want to get my speech done today. Since she’s new and obviously not too excited to do this, is there any way I can go in front of her?”

A few people laughed, and I didn’t know what to think as he stared at me. His brown eyes were serious and direct, like he was trying to tell me something.

“I’m not going to make her stop just because you want to get your speech done today, Alec,” she said. “I appreciate your—”

“I—I don’t mind,” I interrupted, a little shocked I was able to find my voice at all. “He can totally go now.” I let my eyes move over Alec’s bizarrely familiar yet unfamiliar face, not sure if he was aware that he was saving my ass.

The teacher gave a heavy sigh before saying, “Well, if you truly don’t mind,” her tone both beleaguered by his request but also amused. “Then, Alec—get up here and get your speech finished.”

A few people laughed as my shaking hands grabbed my notes and I went back to my desk, passing by Alec, who wandered up there with empty hands (not a single note card) and a confident smile like this was no big deal.

“Thank you, Ms. Sykes, for letting me do this,” he said, to which she gave a closed-mouth smile and tilted her head.

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work in a hardware store?” he said, causing snickers around the classroom. “It sounds wildly fascinating, I know, but you’d be surprised that a lot of the things that occur inside the walls of your local Ace Hardware are actually not that exciting.”

Even though I knew I was still next, I felt my heart rate slowing down as I took in a deep breath that felt so good through my nose while he casually delivered his speech.

Which almost didn’t feel like a speech at all.

I was a little frozen while I listened, because hearing him speak that way, relaxed and self-deprecatingly funny, reminded me so much of my friend Alec.

And the little half smile he wore was exactly the same.

I missed him as he spoke, missed being someone he spoke to. I knew he was either a full-time jerk now or at the very least uninterested in rekindling our friendship—which was fine—but as someone who’d never had a lot of friends, I was homesick for the ease I used to feel around him.

As soon as he finished the speech, he left, briefly arguing with the teacher because he couldn’t seem to produce the pass that proved he was allowed to leave.

But he was so good at insisting that she ultimately let him go (while smiling).

As soon as he was gone, she called on me to give my speech.

I still had all the butterflies, and my hands were still shaking, but this time I managed to do it. I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t have to look at Alec because he was gone, or if his distraction had been enough to convince my body I’d be fine.

Whatever it was, I made it through the speech without passing out or throwing up.

Which felt like a victory.

Until lunch, when I looked up from Invisible Man and saw him entering the library.

Dammit.

Not only was it Alec, but he had three hockey guys with him. And Cassie.

I quickly looked down at the book that I was rereading in preparation for AP Lit, pretending I hadn’t seen them while I delusionally hoped that they were either in the library for some other reason or were going to ask me a quick question and leave.

“Can we sit here?” Alec asked, pointing to the chairs at my table.

“Sure,” I said, my eyes moving to his friends, who were all looking at me as they pulled out chairs and sat down. “I can move to a smaller table if you guys need the big one.”

“No,” Cassie said. “Alec said it was too noisy in the cafeteria and he wanted to go to the library, so we came too because, well… why did we come again?”

She grinned at the other three guys, and I realized she was impossible to dislike.

“Well, I came because I wanted to ask Dani here about her grandfather,” said the enormous wall of a human with the ridiculous hair.

I thought I remembered that his name was Vinny.

“Yeah, okay, that was why I came too,” the redhead (Richie?) agreed, grinning in a way that made me think maybe he was okay.

“I was just following Cassie,” Kyle said with a shrug. He was the one who’d been with Alec in the library the other day, and he also had a mullet, though his was normal compared to Vinny’s. Just a dark-haired version of the whole business-in-the-front-party-in-the-back ugly hairstyle.

“Silly me,” Cassie said, smiling at Kyle. “I came because I actually agreed that it was noisy in the cafeteria and thought it would be fun to eat my lunch quietly in the library.”

“The only one without an ulterior motive,” Alec said. “I need to grab a book.”

Without another word he walked over to the history section—was he seriously getting a book?—while his friends gave me shy smiles like they were little boys.

“So what was it like growing up with Mick?” Richie asked.

“Is he always intimidating,” Vinny asked, “or is he super real when you know him?”

“Um, he has always been a little intimidating, to be honest,” I said, surprised that they just wanted to talk about my grandpa. “And I didn’t really grow up with him. We moved a lot, so I kind of only saw him once a year when I was a kid.”

I wasn’t sure if I should lean into this interest or downplay everything. Having a sort-of-famous grandfather had never come into play before, so I had no rule book to check for this.

“So you don’t really know him any better than anyone else—is that what you’re saying?”

Kyle was looking at Cassie when he said that, but she was listening to me and had no idea that her admirer was staring at her with the real-life equivalent of heart eyes.

“I mean, I did when I was little,” I said. “He used to take me fishing and let me drive his boat and stuff. We were pretty close until I hit middle school.”

“Does he talk about hockey all the time?” Vinny asked. “ Tell me he’d sit at Thanksgiving dinner and talk about bashing Guy Gustafson’s face in.”

“Can you even fucking imagine?” Richie said with a laugh. “?‘I busted the shit outta his nose—hey, pass the stuffing.’?”

I glanced at Cassie and she was grinning at me, rolling her eyes at her friends.

“Actually, he never really talked about it—Guy’s face bashing or anything else. It wasn’t until recently that I even realized he was more than just, like, someone who played hockey when he was a kid.”

“Are you kidding?” Vinny asked. “No way. You can’t be serious.”

“Totally serious,” I said, kind of realizing for the first time how strange that was.

“Wow,” Kyle said, shaking his head.

“So, Dani,” Cassie asked, playfully nudging him out of the way. “Did you come up with anything on the extracurriculars?”

“No, because I honestly can’t think of anything that will work,” I said.

I’d spent a lot of time trying to figure something out, clicking through all the teams on the Southview High website, hoping to find some random activity that might be an option, but so far there was nothing.

Cassie filled the guys in on my situation, which made Richie say, “Can’t she just be another manager?”

“Oh my gosh,” Cassie said, her eyes going huge. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Think of what?” I asked slowly. Very curious what they could be talking about.

“I mean, you’ve been doing it by yourself since Lillie quit,” Vinny said. “Couldn’t Dani just take her place?”

“What?” I heard from behind me. Alec came over with a couple of books in his hand and a scowl on his face. He sat down, his eyebrows furrowed like he’d just overheard us saying something obscene.

“Dani’s still trying to find an extracurricular, and these guys thought maybe she could be a co-manager,” Cassie said excitedly. “And that seems like a really good idea.”

“A co-manager?” I asked, suddenly slightly panicked by Alec’s reaction. “Of what?”

“Hockey,” Cassie said. “I’m the team manager.”

What? I couldn’t be a hockey manager—was she kidding?

No, no, thank you.

Nope.

“Well, I’m sure it’s too late,” Alec said as if it was out of the question. “I don’t think Coach would be into bringing on someone new that he doesn’t even know.”

“It couldn’t hurt to ask, though, right?” Cassie said with a shrug, looking at him like he had a say in the decision or something. “You should totally ask.”

NO! I wanted to shout.

You definitely shouldn’t ask.

Because not only did I know nothing about the sport, but I had zero interest in frequenting a world where Alec was the king. Especially not when he was looking at me as if that was the last thing in the world he wanted.