Page 29 of Expecting The Unexpected
“You killed the men that tricked you,” The doctor said.
“Most of them were on their way to our clutch when we found them, but we didn’t stop at killing every last one of them.” Throg dropped his head in shame. “We killed everyone we could find within the town.
Oleander gasped. “You did what?”
Throg slowly raised his head, “We didn’t know who we could trust and who had betrayed us.”
“The children?” Oleander rasped.
Shaking his head. “No. We didn’t touch a child. We did leave one woman alive. We told her she had until dawn to get the children and get out of town.”
“This is why the gods stripped you of your mates and made it to where you couldn’t procreate. Not because you defended your people, but because you slaughtered innocent people,” the doc said in deep wonder.
Nodding, Throg answered, “Yes, but they did no better than we did. They punished every Nakaka for what the ancient guards had done. It is our greatest shame. It was my greatest shame.”
“Why yours?” the doc asked.
“Because, I led the attack. I gave the order. I... I killed Corbin, and my anger wasn’t satiated, so I ordered the town be burned to the ground. Every man and woman was to die.” Throg rasped. “Even with all the death, I didn’t feel vindicated. Nothing worked. It was then I understood the ramifications of what I had done, and why I had done it.”
Olean...damn it, Norval, said something that Throg was truly surprised to hear, “Throg, you weren’t completely wrong either.”
Throg gasped, “How can you say that? I ordered hundreds of people’s deaths, all because of a broken heart!”
Shaking his head, Oleander said, “You’ve said it so many times, Throg. You were created to protect the ancients and their families. Yes, part of what you had done was your reaction to having your heart ripped from your chest. But the other part... the other part was doing what you were born to do. Protect your people. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. But, tell me this. If things had been different, what would you have done?”
“I don’t understand your question,” Throg said in confusion.
The doc looked Throg in the eyes, asking, “If you had gone with Stok and Krerr, and came back to the carnage you had come back from, what would you have done? Would you have sat passively back, saying, ‘oh my,’ or would you have stormed the town, and protected your people from further attack?”
“I would have...” Throg stopped, and really thought about what Norval was asking of him. Then, he realized his answer. “I would have gone into the town and neutralized the problem.”
“But, who would you have taken out of the equation? Would it have been just the men? Women can be just as deceptive as men. Hell even more so when given a reason. Who would you have let live?” Norval quietly asked.
Throg’s eyes widened, knowing the answer. “No one. I didn’t know who I could trust. I had to protect my ancients and their families.”
“Exactly. Yes, you went about the killing for the wrong reason, but you said yourself it wasn’t just you, it was all the ancient guards. You might have been the leader, but they had a choice as well. I don’t think the gods punished the Nakaka for the deaths, but they did punish for the reason for the deaths. It’s all about intent. The gods wanted your people to know that you are protectors, and never to use the gift they gave you as a weapon.”
“Gift? What gift?” Throg asked again, confused.
“Life,” Norval said quietly as he sat back. “The gods gaveyoulife. The gods showed you they could take it away. Hell, in a sense, the gods did take away life for the Nakaka. They just left you breathing.”
“What does that mean?” Throg asked in bewilderment.
Norval snorted, “There is a difference between living and existing. Both means you breathe, eat, sleep, take a shit... whatever. However, if that’s all you do each and every day, without trying for anything else, then all you’re doing is existing. Living means you are embracing life as much as you can to feel fulfilled... choosing to be happy, not just what you need to do to get by. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I think so, but that would mean you think us not having Viatas is by choice. When in fact, it was taken from us.” Throg insisted.
Shaking his head, Oleander said, “I don’t think it was ever taken from you, I think you all took it from yourselves.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Why would we do such a thing?” Throg asked angrily.
Oleander held up his hand, “Hey, I wasn’t saying it was purposefully done, but you said yourself that after the attack the Nakaka scattered. They did this to the point that no Nakaka even ventured into another’s clutch, nor have they ventured into the general public. Hell, this clutch is under a massive fucking island. You cut yourself off from the outside world.”
Nodding, Throg listened as the doc continued speaking, “Look at it. Hron found his mate with a Nakaka from a different clutch house, Khall found his in a human that was brought here, and you... you found yours with a shifter from the outside world. Who’s to say this wouldn’t have happened had you all not shut yourself off from everyone. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. You all were mourning the loss of your families, loved ones, and friends. Sometimes depression will hold a person back from living and make it to where they only exist. It’s not always easy to get out of that rut. Hell, most struggle their entire lives, but with work and therapy, it can happen. The question is, are you willing to take that chance. Are you willing to set aside the fear and take what is yours? Are you willing to allow yourself to be happy?”
Throg couldn’t say a word. Was Norval right? Was he not accepting his mate into his life, because of fear? Then again, what was he afraid of? His mate turning on him? Mentally Throg shook his head, no, Spencer wasn’t that kind of person and he was Throg’s mate. Spencer could no more turn on him than he could try and kill Throg in his sleep. Mates were everything to a shifter. Then, what was the fear?
The doc took a sip of his drink, then gave a soft laugh, “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe those people did win the war. They got you all to hide away and just exist from day to day. In effect, they killed you. Hell, you refuse to believe that you’ve paid the price long enough for what happened two hundred years ago, that the one man made entirely for you, who is pregnant with your child is better off without you. Existing is as good as dead if you don’t at least try and live. Spencer wouldn’t be looking at a very lonely life without his mate and a child to raise alone, if you were willing to take a chance and live again.”
Good question. Was Throg willing to take a chance? Would the gods allow him to take a mate? What if he tried to mate with Spencer, but couldn’t? What then? Throg wanted his Viata more than anything. He wanted his child. He wanted... he wanted...oh, fuck!He wanted tolive!
Krerr stood up so fast his chair hit the floor. “We need to get to Hron! I think I know what’s happening!”
“What? What are you talking about?” Norval asked.
“I’m talking about the war. The one you two were just talking about,” Krerr said anxiously.
“War? That war was two hundred years ago,” Norval argued, quickly following Krerr to the exit.
Krerr stopped and turned. “That was the battle, but what you said made me realize... we’re still in the war!”