Page 25

Chapter 25

I Remember You

Dell

“ G ive me your hand,” I say while pulling out a bag of fruit from Robyn’s freezer and wrapping it in a thin dish towel. She lets out an uncomfortable sigh when I place it on her hand. “Keep flexing your fingers with this on.” I don't particularly feel like letting go of her hand in this moment… or ever. “What did he say to you? I saw him whisper in your ear.”

“He kept asking me if I would come home with him. I said no, and didn’t want to deal with him anymore, so I was trying to head to the bathroom where I could lose him and collect myself. But when he followed me, I panicked. As soon as I sensed him behind me, it was a fight or flight response. I shouldn’t have hit him.”

I can’t believe she punched that guy. Don’t get me wrong, he fucking deserved it, but I didn’t see that coming. I saw my fist coming. I saw my boot up his ass.

“There’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself. I’m sorry I put you in that situation.”

“You couldn’t have known,” she shrugs. “But I forgot how much that hurts.”

“Where’d you learn how to throw a punch like that by the way?”

She huffs a laugh, “Isaiah, actually. In college.”

“You punched him?”

“No. We were at a rugby social at someone’s house, and they had one of those punching bags that looks like a man's head and torso. I said I wish I knew how to throw a punch , and he taught me.” She frowns—there’s something deeper than the physical pain building inside her. I can feel it bumping up against my own guilt.

I cup her bare shoulders, and the faintest tremble settles over her body. I stroke my thumbs over her warm skin. “What do you need right now?”

“Nothing,” she sighs.

“No. Tell me, darlin’.”

She takes a long moment to close her eyes and swallow. “I just want to be held for a little while. I… I just want to be touched without the threat of sex,” she whispers, her voice shaky.

“Oh, honey,” I sigh and pull her into my chest, being mindful of her injured hand. Her head rests in the cradle of my neck and instantly her body relaxes into me.

“Thank you, Dell.”

“Please don’t thank me,” I murmur into the top of her head. I brush my thumb along her nape of her neck. “I should have never… ”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. It didn’t really sink in until we were driving here that I used you like a pawn tonight. I knew he would be there, and I tried to make Isaiah jealous so he’d make a move for you. I got so caught up in him and you; I didn’t think it through. I should have talked with you about it beforehand.”

Robyn is quiet as her breath fans over my collarbone, but she doesn’t let go of our embrace. “You knew he’d be there tonight?”

“Yes. I told him I was taking you out.”

“For a dating lesson?” she asks tentatively.

I know where her mind is going. It’s barreling toward the same inevitable destination mine is. The lines of professionalism are too blurry, and I’m too far gone for this girl to keep it locked up anymore. “No. I didn’t tell him it was a dating lesson. I should have never let you dance with someone else, and I don’t want to be your dating coach. I just want you.”

She doesn’t respond right away and I’m thankful. I’m glad my declaration is being met with consideration. In silence, we stand in the middle of her kitchen listening to the drumming in our hearts and the cadence of our breathing—the warmth of our bodies soothing the nerves that shot through our bodies like gunfire.

This kind of disgusting behavior that Robyn has experienced at the clubs is unacceptable. First, that guy who tried kissing her when she didn’t want it, then the second douchebag tonight who learned the hard way that no means no. And those were just the times I was with her. This woman in my arms deserves to let herself be free and silly—to wear what she wants and dance how she wants without creeps like them clouding her sunshine.

When Robyn’s hand slides down my back and squeezes my waist, a little more of her warmth seeps in like good liquor and calms me.

She’s okay. She’s right here.

“Dell?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know where to go from here.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, her face still cradled into my neck.

“I like you. I have for a long time. And I’m really sorry if this complicates things—”

My heart beats wildly and I can’t breathe for a moment, but I tell her the truth. “I’m not sorry, Robyn.” Gently, I take her bobby pins out and release her bun, finger-combing her long silky hair and massaging her head.

It’s the truth. I’m not sorry this complicates things. I’m so tired of burying my feelings for her. For him. I’m the kind of man who dives in head-first and asks questions later. It has done nothing but gut me to ignore what my heart wants.

I haven’t felt this kind of attraction to anyone since Travis. It’s the kind of attraction that is so much deeper than their bodies. The kind that makes me yearn to make them laugh and keep them safe. To provide and care for them.

All the people I’ve slept with since Travis have meant nothing. Purely physical attraction. And when they got attached, I cut them loose. But these two? These two have figured out a secret code I wasn’t even aware I had. A code that could unlock a certain part of me that’s been hiding in the shadows for too long.

But there’s something more pressing I need to tell her. Something that will show Robyn just how comfortable I am with our complicated reality, and just how long I’ve known that I want her.

“Can I admit something to you?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“Let's go sit on the couch first.”

Stepping into her sunken living room, we climb into her plush sectional, the street lights gleaming through the front windows. When I have her settled on my lap, her back against the arm of the couch and her long legs spread over the cushions next to me, I admit the truth that I’ve kept from her.

“I remember you, Robyn. We met four years ago at Pride.” Her hazel eyes search mine as her jaw drops the tiniest bit. “You were wearing this dress,” I say, my fingertip tracing the bowtie strap over her shoulder. “And I thought you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen. I felt like I had been struck by lightning when you smiled back at me.” A bemused smile adorns her face. “Yeah, like that. I invited you to a barbeque and you said you were on your way to see your boyfriend,” I shrug.

“I remember. ”

“You do?”

“I didn’t think you did! It’s not everyday you get shot through the heart with Cupid’s arrow,” she giggles. “But, I swear, I thought it was one-sided when we found each other again because you acted like you had never met me. So I thought, There's no way he remembers. ”

“As soon as you walked through my gym doors, I knew it was you.”

Her eyes are as soft as her voice when she says, “Dell.” She lifts her good hand to my face, rubbing against my stubble and then leans forward to press her forehead to mine. “Dell.”

“Robyn,” I whisper, nuzzling into her and finally letting my heart run like wild horses. I want to stay in this perfect moment where it’s warm and indulgent. Where there is no bad, there are no rules. There is only our open truth holding us together as we block out the outside world.

“You have The Rule,” she reminds me. “So the right thing would be for me to find a new trainer, wouldn’t it?”

I nod solemnly.

“I don’t want to do the right thing.”

“Neither do I,” I murmur. “What's worse, if we dated, someone’s going to put you on blast when they find out I used to do OnlyFans. The media would devour you, and it could hurt your chances at the next Olympic games. Optics are everything, Robyn. I try my best to delete those ‘hey aren’t you Dixon Hand?’ comments when they pop up in my videos, but with our combined fan base, there’s no way we’d be able to hide. I thought by covering my body in tattoos and growing out my hair I could hide in plain sight, but they still find me. They still ask where my OF account went. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” her voice wobbles. “Don’t be.”

“Never have I regretted making that account like the way I do now. I’d take it all back for you if I could. ”

“I know.”

For a while we sit there in silence, dragging curious fingers over shoulders and coiling hairs—both of us lost in each other and in our own heads. I just can’t see how this will work.

“Maybe,” I say, “just for tonight, we could forget everything, and just be us.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t wanna say anything.” The inch that separated our mouths disappears, and our soft kiss takes over. Slowly, her hand travels from my cheek to the back of my head, and I momentarily forget everything.

I pull back. “Wait. No. You said you just wanted to be held… without the threat of sex. Not that this will to lead to sex, but—”

She shuts me up with another kiss that has me short-circuiting. “Let me make it very clear: I want you, Dell. Right now.”

“Okay,” I manage to reply before she’s fusing to my lips again and moving herself to straddle me. Soft cushions cradle my head as it falls back. She takes charge and I eagerly succumb. God, she tastes good. Electricity thrums through my body and warms my blood, sending it below my belt where it’s wanting most.

Even as a pleasure Dom, I enjoy this side of things, too. Here, below her, at her mercy. She pushes her hips into me as our tongues dance. My hands slide from her hips to her incredibly sculpted backside. The backside I helped build, I think, a surge of trainer pride making me smile.

When her fingers dig through the underside of my hair tie and grip, a deep moan pours out of me like water. I think I could make out with her for hours on end. I want her beautiful lipstick covering my face and her scent imprinted on my skin.

Tentatively, lowering my right hand to her bare thigh, I slip it under her dress. Before I can ask, she senses my trepidation and whispers, “You can touch me anywhere you’d like.”

My answering purr makes her smile against my lips and that’s when I discover Robyn Cassidy is wearing a thong.

Kill me.

God must have heard that last thought because there’s a sudden jostling noise at the front door, and Isaiah is bounding through it.