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Chapter Twenty-Four

PHONE CALL TRANSCRIPT – Dylan Braun Treating therapist: Dr. Stuart Morley

Dr. Morley: Yes, hello? Dylan: I think this girl… I think she’s messing with my head. Dr. Morley: Is this Dylan? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: Alright… First, can I ask where you are right now? Dylan: Huh? Dr. Morley: Where are you? Are you at home or somewhere else? Dylan: In my room. Why? Dr. Morley: Just want to get some context, to make sure— Dylan: What’s “context”? Dr. Morley: I just want some idea of where you are. If you’re off alone somewhere or— Dylan: Christ, you guys with this need to know where I am all the time. Dr. Morley: We care about your safety, that’s all. Dylan: I’m in my room. That safe enough for you? Dr. Morley: Sounds safe enough, yes. So, tell me what’s going on? Dylan: This girl. My neighbor. Scarlett. I think she’s messing with me. Or… Shit. I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell is going on. Dr. Morley: What happened that makes you think she’s messing with you? Dylan: Everything about her. Dr. Morley: Tell me one thing specifically. Dylan: She’s like… she’s this—one of those popular girls like you see in movies. Totally hot. Has an agenda all the time. Usually bossy, cold… just always kind of mean to people. But then, with me, she’s kind of…. nice. Dr. Morley: Okay… Tell me more. Dylan: I think she’s trapping me. Dr. Morley: Explain what you mean by “trapping you”. Dylan: She’s fucking playing me, man. Dr. Morley: Because she’s being nice to you, when she’s mean to everyone else? Dylan: She’s not mean to everyone. She’s got a couple people she’s normal with. Dr. Morley: Okay… And when you say she’s ‘normal’ with them, do you mean ‘nice’? Dylan: Yeah. Sort of. Nicer. But also, like she’s not playing a game with them, like she plays with everyone else. She pretends to be tough shit with everyone else, but then with a couple people, she doesn’t. Dr. Morley: So, she has different masks she wears with different people? Dylan: Yeah. Exactly like that. Dr. Morley: And when she’s with you, does it feel like she’s playing a game or wearing a mask? Dylan: That’s the thing—I don’t know… I don’t fucking know. Dr. Morley: And is that what makes you feel like she’s messing with your head? Dylan: Yeah… No. I mean, I know she was definitely wearing a mask at first, when I met her a couple weeks ago… Then pretty soon, she started acting different. Dr. Morley: How so? Dylan: Just… acting more normal. Or trying to be nicer. And doing stuff she doesn’t have to do, or avoiding stuff she thinks makes me uncomfortable or whatever. But then, it’s like—how does she know? How does she know those things about me? And why the hell is she being that way? She’s smarter than she pretends she is, and I think she’s fucking playing me. Dr. Morley: And what would her purpose be in playing you? Do you get a feeling like there’s something she wants from you? Dylan: I don’t know… That’s exactly what I’m saying! Dr. Morley: But if you say— Dylan: I catch her looking at me sometimes… checking me out. Dr. Morley: So you think maybe that’s what she wants from you? Something physical, maybe? Dylan: I don’t know! That’s what I’m telling you! Dr. Morley: Has she done anything, or said anything that’s made you uncomfortable? Dylan: Everything she does makes me uncomfortable! Just being around her. Dr. Morley: Okay… This is going to sound like a weird question—but you know how you can be around someone and feel uncomfortable and everything about it feels… bad? And sometimes you can be around a person and feel uncomfortable, but it’s mostly just because you feel awkward or unsure or because you think you might be attracted to them? Do you know those two kinds of uncomfortable I’m getting at? Dylan: No. I don’t. I don’t see what the fucking difference is. Uncomfortable is uncomfortable. Dr. Morley: Okay, so tell me this—have you felt uncomfortable with other girls before, when you’ve felt like they’re physically attracted to you? Dylan: Yeah. All the fucking time. Girls are always looking at me like that… Always. I fucking hate it. Dr. Morley: Okay. And with this girl—Scarlett? Is that her name? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: With Scarlett—does it feel different? The kind of uncomfortable you feel with her—is it different from how you feel when other girls seem attracted to you? Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: Hello? Dylan, you still with me? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: You’re just thinking? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: Okay. That’s fine… Take your time. Dylan: You sound like a shrink when you talk like that. Dr. Morley: It’s time I told you, Dylan… I am a shrink. Dylan: Fucking hilarious. Dr. Morley: Well, that’s the other thing—I have a side gig as a comedian. Dylan: Then don’t quit your day job, man. Dr. Morley: [chuckles] So? The uncomfortable feeling with Scarlett—is it different than with other girls who seem attracted to you? Dylan: I think… Yeah, I think maybe it’s different with her. Dr. Morley: Alright. How so? Dylan: A few days ago, she asked me about my comics. You know how I’m into comics? Dr. Morley: I didn’t know that, no. Dylan: Yeah. And she’s totally not the kind of girl who’s into comics. Furthest thing from it. But then she goes and asks if she can read one. And she does. In my room. Dr. Morley: So you two read comics together in your room? Dylan: You make it sound dirty. We were literally just reading. Dr. Morley: Sorry, no. I got that. Dylan: I told her she was going to hate it. And I could tell she knew she was going to hate it. So why the fuck would she read it, then? Not just one—a couple of them… But then she gets into it. Like she’s really hooked. But that’s exactly what she’d do if she’s smart, right? That’s exactly how a woman would lay a trap for a guy like me. Fuck! I just totally let myself get sucked in. Dr. Morley: So explain to me why you think she would be making this up. Why would she pretend to like these comics if she doesn’t, really? Dylan: You think I know how her mind works? I don’t! That’s the problem. I have no idea how this girl works. I thought I did. I thought she was just your basic two-faced liar. But I know now she’s not. I know that much. I just… Fuck. I just don’t like being played. I hate being played, man. I hate it. Dr. Morley: Okay, look. I don’t know this girl. And I sure as heck can’t pretend to understand how a woman’s mind works. I’ve been married twenty-one years and I still haven’t figured it out. But there are a couple of angles I think we can look at that might help in a situation like this. Dylan: Okay… Dr. Morley: First, does this girl—does Scarlett try to push you into anything physically when you’ve made it clear you’re uncomfortable? Do you feel ‘pushed’ in any way around her? Dylan: Like, to fool around? Dr. Morley: Sure. Yes… Or even to just hold hands or… whatever. Anything like that. Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: You just thinking? Dylan: Yeah… I mean. This thing happened earlier tonight. But it’s… Shit, man—I don’t even know. Dr. Morley: Okay. Take your time. Dylan: You’re talking like a shrink again. Dr. Morley: Sorry. Hazard of the trade. Dylan: So she came over tonight. It was… okay. It was weird. But okay, I guess. Then she just… This is gonna sound like I’m messed in the head—because it’s nothing. It’s not anything. Dr. Morley: Who cares how it sounds? No one on the line but me, Dylan. Dylan: Yeah. So, she… she came and lay on the bed. Dr. Morley: Okay… And you weren’t expecting that. Dylan: Not sure. Wasn’t really thinking. But… it was just—it freaked me out. That stuff just… because of the things Eli always said. Because of… Fuck. Shit. Forget it. [Thumping noise] Dr. Morley: Dylan? Can you listen to me for a minute? Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: Dylan. Are you there? Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: Dylan? Dylan: What? Dr. Morley: Okay, first of all, just take a breath. Alright? Just… breathe. Dylan: I am fucking breathing. Dr. Morley: [Chuckles] Good. Had to check. You pass out on me and I’ll probably be held responsible. Have to charge you extra… Alright, so hear me out. There is absolutely no reason for you to be ashamed or mad about the way you’re feeling. About anything you just said. Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: All this stuff you’re feeling and these thoughts you’re having… none of it is weird or wrong or the kind of thing you should beat yourself up over. It’s frustrating as heck, I’m sure, trying to work through all these emotions. But there’s no test. There’s no timeline here… Remember that. You can work through all of this at your own pace. So give yourself some room to breathe. Dylan: That your two-hundred-and-fifty dollar advice? To fucking breathe? Dr. Morley: [Laughs] It’s part of it, yes. Dylan: Then I’ll just take the burger and fries. Dr. Morley: Wait now. You’re forgetting I said I wouldn’t charge for the phone calls. So technically, this is free advice. Dylan: I’m getting your bargain basement advice, then. Fucking stellar… And by the way, I’ve kind of been doing the whole breathing thing without you for seventeen years now… So thanks for nothing. Dr. Morley: I meant you need to take a moment to stop and just breathe intentionally. Inhale… hold… exhale. Dylan: You serious with this shit? Now you’re literally gonna explain to me how breathing works? Dr. Morley: [Sighs] Okay. Forget the breathing, then. Just— Dylan: I forget to breathe, I die. That’s how breathing works. Maybe brush up next time before you try explaining it. Dr. Morley: I feel like you’re trying to side-track me here. Dylan: I feel like you’re trying to shrink-talk me with this breathing bullshit. Dr. Morley: Okay. So let’s move on from the breathing. Let’s go back to what you were saying before that. About how Eli perhaps influenced some of the feelings you have about women and— Dylan: I shouldn’t have said that. Dr. Morley: Why’s that? Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: You still with me? Dylan: Not like I have anywhere to go. Yeah, I’m still fucking here. Dr. Morley: Why shouldn’t you have said that? Dylan: Because I… I just… I… Dr. Morley: You just what? Dylan: Nothing. I don’t feel like getting into that shit right now. Dr. Morley: Okay… But it’s obviously on your mind. It’s affecting how— Dylan: I know that. Okay? I fucking know that. I just really don’t want to talk about it anymore. Dr. Morley: Not tonight, then. Dylan: Yeah. Not tonight. Dr. Morley: Alright. Let me ask you this, then. Do you think Scarlett could tell you felt uncomfortable when she lay on your bed? Dylan: [No response] Dr. Morley: Just thinking? Dylan: Un-huh… Yeah. She could tell. Dr. Morley: Did she say anything? Dylan: She didn’t get it at first. Why I was pissed… I told her to leave. Then I went outside, and she came out a few minutes later. She’d figured it out… Apologized. Which made it fucking worse. Dr. Morley: Okay… and then what happened? Dylan: It’s gonna sound weird as fuck. Dr. Morley: That’s fine. Dylan: She gave me… uh, pine nut… something muffins. Dr. Morley: Okay… you’re going to have to explain that one to me. Dylan: Said it was an apology gift for making me uncomfortable. Gave me one of these disgusting weird healthy muffins her mom makes. Like a joke. Because they’re so bad. Dr. Morley: Well, that sounds like she was trying to make you laugh after she knew she’d done something that made you uncomfortable—not like she was trying to jump your bones… Right? Dylan: I guess. Yeah. Dr. Morley: Either that, or she really hates your guts, and she’s trying to make you severely ill with these pine nut muffins—which sound horrible, by the way. Dylan: They’re pretty bad. Dr. Morley: Okay, so how about this? How about you get a good night’s rest… You’re going back to school tomorrow? Is that still the plan? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: Hand’s healing okay? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: Great stuff. So, you take it easy tonight. All these thoughts about this girl, and about Eli and any of those things that feel like they’re a tangled mess right now in your head, set them aside… They’ll still be there tomorrow. We’ll schedule an extra session for tomorrow and talk more about everything then. Dylan: Sure. Dr. Morley: Good. So we’ll chat more tomorrow. Tonight, I want you to go watch tv for a bit. Or read one of your comics. Something like that. Dylan: Okay. Dr. Morley: Because you want to be well rested for school tomorrow. Dylan: You guys get I’m not five, right? I get the whole sleeping thing—just like I figured out the breathing thing. Dr. Morley: [laughs] Sorry. That did sound patronizing. Guess I’ve just read so many studies on the effects of good sleeping habits, and breathing, and things like that—on emotions. Now I can’t seem to stress its importance enough. Dylan: Sleeping and breathing are important. Got it. Dr. Morley: Alright. You going to be okay tonight? Dylan: Yeah. Dr. Morley: You know you can call me again, right? Even if it’s just ten minutes from now, and you can’t seem to get stuff off your brain, you can call. Dylan: Sure. Dr. Morley: Perfect. Take care then, Dylan. Remember—call me again if you need to. Dylan: Got it… Gonna go brush up on my breathing.