Page 60

Chapter Sixty

Maggie

O n Saturday, I spend the night at Laney's house and we have a girls’ night with a bunch of friends. I get a little intel on Xave from Jackie and Caroline, who say he's been pretty down lately. Quiet and mostly keeping to himself. Jackie says he's really worried about his brother. The situation with Marta is obviously worse than Xave let on with me in the car. Finn's pulling a lot of the same bullshit he used to pull before me, and Denise is back to looking for a new nanny.

Apparently Xave's had a couple of parties these past few weeks, but nothing like the ones he used to have. Less people and only closer friends. Still, Caroline says he disappeared—alone—halfway through those parties, and no one could find him. I both love and hate that, even though I wasn't invited to either party, I'm the only one who knows where he was. In the Observatory, writing music.

On Sunday, I send Xave another text.

Maggs

painted my nails last nite. brown and white cos i was going for a tootsie roll theme

just me, or does it totally look like a poop and toilet paper theme?

I don't get a reply. And it occurs to me that as romantic and "right" as it seemed at the time to declare I would keep these notes up for as long as it takes to get through to Xave that he isn't a disappointment, and for him to talk to me again (or tell me outright to leave him alone), the reality seems to be pointing to the fact that it isn't going to work. Like, at some point, do you shift from being persistent to just being a flat-out stalker? Hopefully, I haven't crossed that line yet. But how do I prove to him I'm not walking away, when showing up all the time starts to feel like I'm just batshit crazy?