Page 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Maggie

" W e're back from story time at the library!" Finn races out of the coat room when he spots Xavier and Seb lounging in the sitting room. I follow behind, juggling our book haul.

Seb's feet dangle over the arm of the wide armchair while Xavier sprawls across the couch, both of them focused on their phones.

Finn races toward the couch, readying for a leap onto Xavier's lap, but Seb leans in quickly and intercepts him.

"Whoa! Watch the ribs." He scoops him up. "No jumping on your bro for a while, little dude."

"Oh, yaaaaaa." Finn makes a face. "I forgot."

Seb releases him, and Finn hops over to the couch and climbs up beside his brother. "Hey, Xavey."

"Hey, rockstar."

The swelling around his eye has gone down a lot, but dark purple bruises have spread across his cheekbone like watercolor bleeding into paper. The cut above his eyebrow has scabbed over, though. Same with his lip.

I hover by the counter, not sure if I should join them or start lunch. The past couple days have felt different between us, but Xavier's a tough nut to crack. Could be he now regrets hanging out and making friends with the enemy last night.

"Maggie helped me pick out chapter books." Finn bounces on his knees. "They have pictures still, but not on every page."

"Level up." Xave holds out his fist for Finn to bump. "Nice. "

"Show them the dragon one." Finn cranes his head to look at me, solving my dilemma of whether to stay in the kitchen or join them. As I wander over, I catch Xavier watching me, his expression unreadable. The bruising makes him look dangerous, like some brooding anti-hero.

I drop the tote bag on the coffee table and start digging through the books. "Got it." I hold the shimmery book out to Finn. "Dragons Love Tacos."

"Bro. Top-tier literature," Seb chimes from the armchair.

"It's about dragons who eat tacos, but they can't have spicy salsa or they breathe fire everywhere." Finn nuzzles closer to Xavier.

"Wouldn't it give them fiery farts?" Xavier muses. "More than fiery breath?"

Finn throws his head back and giggles.

"Probably both," from Seb.

"Can we read it now?" Finn begs. "Please? While we eat lunch?"

" After lunch, remember?" I remind him, praying Xavier won't undermine me. Especially in front of Seb. "And we have to wash our hands first, right?"

Finn nods. "'Cos books don't like peanut butter fingers." He places the book carefully on the side table with an adorable sigh of resignation.

And… no snide comment from Xavier. No offer to read Finn his book right now, despite my words. A flutter of victory hitches my breathing for a moment as I lower myself onto the floor beside Finn's pile of books, looking over at Xavier. "So? How're you feeling today?"

Xavier's lips curl into an easy grin. "Good. Ribs still hurt but I can breathe better."

I release a shallow breath. And not just because he's feeling better, but because he grinned. He's being nice. Xavier Rockwell doesn't totally hate my guts anymore.

I haven't hated his guts for a while now.

"I made his yucky bruises look pretty," Finn announces. "Xave let me put a fake tattoo on them yesterday." He points at his brother's torso.

"I'll take a tattoo, Finny Boy," Seb says, not looking up from his phone. "Got lots of compliments on the 'Future Cat Lady' tattoo last week."

"Yay!" Finn beams. "The cat lady was my second favorite."

"What?" Seb looks up with an offended frown. "How come I only got your second favorite?"

"Xave always gets my first favorites, silly." Finn giggles.

As if to prove his brother's words, Xavier casually lifts the hem of his T-shirt with his free hand, revealing a waving mermaid with a sparkly tail swimming in a pool of blue bruises. The words "Certified Mermaid Whisperer" float above her flowing hair. And if tattoos on bruises were art, Finn would be the next Picasso.

Apparently getting through twenty straight minutes up close and personal with Xavier Rockwell's bare skin Friday night without drooling didn't grant me immunity from being presented with another dose less than forty-eight-hours later. I can't decide if it's unfair torture or a blessing.

"I liked my Cat Lady one better." Seb says, dead serious, eyes dipping back to his phone.

Finn slides off the couch and goes over to Seb, head tilted, and places a hand on his cheek, so gently it's adorable—especially since Seb is this totally ripped, baller dude. "If you're sad it's washed away, I can find you a really super cool one today so you're not sad anymore," he offers earnestly.

Seb looks up and pokes Finn's belly. "Sweet."

Finn does a little hop. "I'm gonna find you a super awesome tattoo, promise! And another one for you, Xave!" He calls, as he races for the staircase and up to his room. Then a second later, he calls out again, "And two for Maggie!"

"How come she gets two?" Seb and Xavier ask in unison, but Finn doesn't hear them, already upstairs.

"Oh, yeah," I gloat. "Nanny privileges."

My phone buzzes with an incoming text just then. I glance at the screen.

Liam

can u remind X about jam sesh? Cam's been trying to reach him

I look up at Xavier, who's still scrolling through his phone. "You're going to jam with the guys this afternoon, right? "

His jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "Probably not."

The way he says it—too casual, too dismissive—catches my attention. I think back to finding him alone in the Observatory that night, playing his heart out when he thought no one could hear. The way he stopped dead when he realized I was there.

It clicks then—Xavier Rockwell, who seems so confident about everything else, is nervous about playing in front of people.

It's a feeling I can relate to all too well. That familiar mix of wanting something badly while simultaneously being terrified of doing it in front of others. It's how I felt when I had to present my first diorama at the art show. And the first few times I posted on my YouTube channel, while that voice in my head singsonged on repeat. "No one's going to watch this." "This is going to totally bomb." And other similar gems.

Seb glances up from his phone. "You're going to jam with the guitar player from that band the other night?"

"Cam's putting together a new band," I explain. "I told him Xavier has an awesome voice and is a boss on guitar, and Cam wants him to jam for a couple hours with him, Liam, and Tyler."

"Seriously?" Seb sits up straighter, looking at Xavier. "You sing?"

Xavier shrugs, his focus still on his phone. "Not really."

"You do." The words slip out before I can stop them. "And you're really good."

"You heard two minutes of one song."

"Dude." Seb swings his legs down. "How did I not know this? We've been friends since kindergarten."

"Because it's not a thing." Xavier's jaw tightens. "I mess around. That's it."

"He writes his own stuff," I counter, earning a sharp look from Xavier.

"That's sick." Seb grins. "You should totally go jam with those guys. I heard Cam and Liam are cool." Then he adds, "This Tyler guy must be too, if he's hanging with them."

"Christ, would you guys give it a rest?" Xavier pushes up from the couch, his movements stiff. "I've got shit to do, okay? I'm not going. "

"What shit?" Seb challenges, eyebrows raised. "You've been scrolling cat videos for the past half hour."

"Cat videos?" I am stunned. "Seriously?"

"I was watching King Stingray in concert at Hindley Street Music Hall, asshole."

Seb shrugs. "Potay-to. Potah-to." Then he adds. "Still means you have time to go jam for a couple hours."

"You realize you don't know everything about my life, right?" Xavier's voice takes on that dangerous edge I recognize from our earlier conflicts. "Just trust me that I have stuff to do."

"Do it after," Seb persists. "I've heard you play guitar and you're good, man. So, if Maggs says you've got a killer singing voice too, then you've got a killer singing voice. And you're being an idiot to pass up the chance to play with some seriously talented guys."

Xavier shakes his head and stalks over to the fridge. He jerks it open and pulls out a carton of milk, then cereal and a bowl from the cupboards, as Seb and I watch in silence. He prepares his cereal, then digs in. "Can you just lay off? I'm not going," he says before taking a large bite.

"Why are you being like this?" Seb's eyes bounce from Xavier to me then back to Xavier. "I don't get it… Is there something I'm missing here?"

Yeah, there is.

Xave's about to snap.

And I get it—he already feels exposed knowing I've heard him sing, and now Seb's been brought into it, and the questioning and pushing is just making Xave more defensive. And pissed that he's being backed into a corner—because there's no way he's going to come outright and say he's bailing because he's scared out of his mind.

I stand up. "Okay, we should back off." My gaze shifts to Xavier. "I'm sorry—we're totally crowding you and guilt-tripping you about this jam session when it's none of our business if you go or not."

Xavier's shoulders relax slightly as he takes another bite of cereal .

"All I'll say is if you're not going because you think you suck—which would be ridiculous by the way—then please don't make your decision based just on that." I fidget with the corner of one of Finn's library books. "Maybe just… think about what advice you'd give Finn in a few years if he was in this exact situation. Whatever you'd tell him—maybe consider taking that same advice yourself before making the call."

Xavier's spoon pauses halfway to his mouth, his expression shifting.

"But we'll drop it now," I add quickly. "No more pushing or bringing it up again. I know I'd be super annoyed if you guys were tag-teaming me about something the way Seb and I just did to you."

Xavier mutters something I can't make out, but there's less edge to his voice now.

As I turn to head upstairs to check on Finn, I catch Seb mouthing to his best friend, "You. Should. Go."

Through a mouthful of cereal, Xave tells him, "You should fuck off."